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Shell’s Flaring Fiasco: Deer Park Chemical Plant Puts on a Light Show, Community Left in the Dark

…while Shell may be busy burning off whatever toxic cocktail they’ve brewed up this time, the folks in Deer Park are left choking on the fumes, both literally and figuratively.

Posted by John Donovan: 27 March 2024

Gather ’round for another dazzling display of Shell’s exceptional commitment to environmental stewardship—or lack thereof. In a feat that could rival the best fireworks show in town, the Deer Park chemical plant has been lighting up the sky with flares since last Thursday, and guess what? The party’s just getting started!

Now, you might think that flaring during an emergency is a cause for celebration, a reassuring sign that all is well in the kingdom of fossil fuels. But hold your applause, dear citizens, because while Shell may be busy burning off whatever toxic cocktail they’ve brewed up this time, the folks in Deer Park are left choking on the fumes, both literally and figuratively. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Russia’s Shell Game: Sakhalin LNG Stake Swapped Like Trading Cards, This Time Gazprom Wins

Posted by John Donovan: 27 March 2024

Well, well, well, folks, gather ’round for another chapter in the thrilling saga of Shell’s misadventures in the land of oil and oligarchs. In this latest installment, the Russian government has decided to play a game of hot potato with Shell’s minority stake in the Sakhalin LNG project, ultimately passing it off to their favorite playmate, state-controlled behemoth Gazprom, for a cool $1 billion.

Now, let’s rewind a bit, shall we? Shell, ever the enterprising multinational, originally held the reins in this project until they found themselves caught up in a web of intrigue involving insider info, espionage, and more drama than a daytime soap opera. And who’s behind this plot twist, you ask? None other than yours truly, providing juicy tidbits to the Russian government back in the day, leading to Shell setting up their very own spy network. Ah, the things we do for love—err, I mean, gas. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and Friends’ Climate Change Lies: Another Lawsuit Calls Out Big Oil’s Deception

“These companies have known since at least the 1950s that their ways of doing business were having calamitous effects on our planet, and rather than change what they were doing or raise the alarm, they lied to all of us.”

Posted by John Donovan 27 March 2024

In a move that surprises exactly no one who’s been paying attention to the planet literally burning, Bucks County, nestled in suburban Philadelphia, has taken a bold step in joining the chorus of voices suing Big Oil for their epic saga of deception regarding climate change.

Bucks County, in its lawsuit against a handful of oil behemoths, points fingers at these corporate giants for a litany of sins, including but not limited to, more storms than a Shakespearean tragedy, flooding that would make Noah blush, and heat waves that would melt the polar ice caps faster than you can say “polar bear.” Oh, and let’s not forget the casualties—like the seven unfortunate souls who met their watery demise in a flash flood last summer, courtesy of climate change’s MVPs: oil companies. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell CEO Laments: “How Dare You Sue Us for Ruining the Planet!”

That’s right, folks—while the rest of the world is desperately trying to curb emissions, Shell is busy backpedaling on its promises faster than you can say “hypocrisy.”

Posted 24 March 2024 by John Donovan

In a jaw-dropping display of corporate entitlement, Frans Everts, the CEO of Shell Netherlands, took to the airwaves to bemoan the audacity of environmental organizations daring to sue companies like Shell. Because clearly, holding polluting behemoths accountable for their role in climate catastrophe is just plain unfair, right?

In a riveting performance on TV program WNL Op Zondag, Everts cried foul, claiming that climate lawsuits were nothing short of economic sabotage. “It does not solve the problems,” he lamented, conveniently forgetting that maybe—just maybe—stopping the relentless pollution might actually, you know, solve a few problems. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Oil Giants in Panic Mode: Payout Promises Up in Smoke as Prices Plummet

Posted by John Donovan: 24 March 2024

Well, well, well, it looks like the bigwigs in the oil industry are having a bit of a “Oh shit, what now?” moment as oil prices take a nosedive. In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one could have predicted (except maybe every economist ever), Brent crude decided to plummet a whopping 24% in a single day, leaving oil executives scratching their heads and frantically revising their plans to return billions to investors.

It seems the recent oil price rollercoaster was triggered by Russia saying “nyet” to an OPEC agreement to cut output. And just like that, the oil market went from “steady sailing” to “full-blown panic mode” faster than you can say “fossil fuels are so last century.”

Now, in a desperate attempt to keep investors from jumping ship, oil companies are scrambling to reassess their spending plans. But let’s be real here, folks—when your primary source of income is as volatile as a teenager’s mood swings, you’re bound to hit a few bumps in the road. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Great Escape: Fleeing Protests with the Efficiency of a Greased Pig

As long as the oil keeps flowing and the profits keep rolling in, who cares about a few unpaid workers?

Posted by John Donovan: 24 March 2024

In a move that can only be described as “strategic retreat” (or, let’s be honest, “run for the hills”), Royal Dutch Shell has evacuated around 60 foreign staff from Iraq’s Basra Gas Company. But don’t worry, folks, Shell assures us that this sudden exodus is merely a security measure, prompted by a teensy-weensy protest over delayed pay. Because when in doubt, evacuate, right?

The fun began when workers at Basra Gas Company (BGC) decided they were tired of waiting for their paychecks to arrive. In a move that Shell probably didn’t anticipate during their morning coffee, these brave souls took to the streets to demand what’s rightfully theirs. And what did Shell do in response? They promptly packed their bags and flew their foreign staff out of the country faster than you can say “employee satisfaction.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s “Oops, We Flared Again” Excuse Raises Eyebrows and Air Quality Concerns

So, as the flames dance merrily in the night sky, let’s raise a toast to Shell and its impeccable track record of putting profits over people. Because when it comes to corporate accountability, Shell’s motto seems to be: “Oops, we flared again, but don’t worry, it’s just business as usual.”

Posted by John Donovan: 23 March 2024

In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Shell Chemicals’ facility in Deer Park has treated nearby residents to yet another dazzling display of environmental irresponsibility. But fear not, dear citizens, for Shell has a perfectly reasonable explanation for this week-long flare extravaganza—it’s all because of a drumroll power outage! Yes, apparently, even multi-billion-dollar corporations can’t escape the occasional blackout.

Residents in the vicinity of Shell’s chemical facility were graced with the sight of a flaming beacon of corporate negligence, with Shell generously informing them that they can expect this fiery spectacle to last for a delightful four to seven days. Because who needs fireworks when you have flares burning off excess chemicals, am I right? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Air Pollution Permit Countdown: Tick-Tock, Time’s Up, Big Oil!

…who needs clean air when you can have profit margins as thick as the smog hanging over Shell’s conscience?

Posted by John Donovan 23 March 2024

In a surprising turn of events that may have Shell executives sweating more than just crude oil, the Pennsylvania Dept. of Environmental Protection (DEP) has issued a stern “get your act together” notice to the Shell ethane cracker plant. Essentially, they’ve slapped Shell with a deadline and said, “You’re time is up.” Yes, you read that correctly—apparently, even government agencies have given up on proper grammar when dealing with oil giants. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Ascension of Greg Joiner to Position of Executive VP at Shell Energy

Posted by John Donovan: 23 March 2024

In a move that will surely make Mother Nature roll her eyes and shrug in resignation, Shell has proudly announced the ascension of Greg Joiner to the position of Executive Vice President at Shell Energy. Who better to lead the charge on cleaner energy solutions than an oil and gas behemoth that has spent decades contributing to the climate crisis?

Joiner’s illustrious career at Shell, spanning back to the dawn of the millennium, apparently qualifies him to spearhead the company’s efforts in decarbonization. One can only assume he’s been perfecting the art of greenwashing since his days as a Business Development Manager for Pulse Energy in Australia. Ah, the memories of Shell’s early 2000s foray into electricity and gas retailing, like a fine wine tainted with the taste of environmental degradation.

In his own words, Joiner expressed his eagerness to continue Shell’s legacy of… well, whatever they’re trying to do. “I have now been with Shell for over 30 years,” he proudly proclaimed on LinkedIn, conveniently omitting any mention of the countless oil spills, emissions, and environmental devastation that may have occurred during his tenure. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Ditches Massachusetts Wind Project Like a Bad Tinder Date, Because Who Needs Renewable Energy When You’ve Got Oil?

Posted by John Donovan: 21 March 2024

In a move as shocking as discovering water is wet, Shell has decided to say “Thank U, Next” to its 50% stake in SouthCoast Wind Energy, leaving the offshore wind project off the coast of Massachusetts faster than a college student leaving their morals at spring break. The lucky recipient of Shell’s fleeting affection? Its joint venture partner, Ocean Winds North America LLC, who probably swiped right without realizing what they were getting into. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Big Oil Plays Pretend: Phasing Out Fossil Fuels Deemed ‘Fantasy’ Amid Record Profits

Posted by John Donovan: 20 March 2024

In a dazzling display of corporate doublethink, oil moguls gathered in Houston, casually shrugging off any pretence of urgency in the face of the climate crisis. Despite John F. Kerry’s victory lap at the U.N. Climate Change Conference in Dubai, declaring a monumental shift away from fossil fuels, the lords of oil in Houston had a hearty laugh. “Missed the memo, John,” they seemed to say, before diving into their Scrooge McDuck-style money vaults. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s New Strategy: ‘Net Zero Schmet Zero,’ Because Who Needs the Planet When You’ve Got Profits?

As green activists and the Church of England Pensions Board wag their fingers in disapproval, Shell seems ready to sprint in the opposite direction of net zero, all the while shouting, “Catch us if you can!” Because in the end, who needs a habitable planet when you’ve got fat dividends, right?

Posted by John Donovan: 20 March 2024

In an almost admirable display of environmental indifference, Shell Plc is flirting with the idea of putting the brakes on its already glacial pace of carbon emissions cuts. This bombshell, which is about as surprising as finding out politicians lie, comes straight from the horse’s mouth—or rather, people whispering secrets because this info is hotter than the planet we’re roasting.

Set your calendars for Thursday, folks, because Shell is about to drop its latest masterpiece in corporate doublespeak, disguised as an update to its long-term clean energy and emissions plan. The grand architect behind this slow-motion environmental train wreck? None other than CEO Wael Sawan, who seems to believe the best way to warm shareholders’ hearts (and the Earth, coincidentally) is by pumping more money into oil and gas. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Latest Magic Trick: Turning Gas Stations into EV Charging Hubs, Because Who Needs Oil Anyway?

Posted by John Donovan: 20 March 2024

In a move that screams “We’re totally green now, guys,” Shell, the fossil fuel titan known for its subtle contributions to global warming, has announced plans to transform its image by shedding some of its oil-slicked skin. Yes, Shell is planning to dump around 500 of its gasoline stations a year in 2024 and 2025 to make room for what’s being touted as the future of motoring: electric vehicle (EV) charging sites. Because nothing says commitment to the energy transition like swapping one pump for another. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Activists to Ad Agencies: Beware of Shell’s Siren Song, Lest Ye Become Gaslighting Accomplices

Havas, the brave soul who took on the Shell media account, found itself in hot water, experiencing a backlash that could only be described as what happens when you realize you’ve accidentally helped decorate the banquet hall for the Titanic’s farewell dinner.

Posted by John Donovan: 20 March 2024

In an era where even our snacks are going green, Comms Declare, the activist group with a penchant for ruining Big Oil’s marketing dreams, has issued a stark warning to all ad agencies: pitching for Shell Energy’s creative account is like signing a deal with the devil but with less fire and more gaslighting.

Shell, known affectionately as the Olympic champion of gaslighting, has put on its best sheep’s clothing, beckoning ad agencies to help peddle its renewables and energy solutions business in Australia. But Comms Declare is calling BS, suggesting that anyone who takes the bait is essentially propping up the glossy facade of a company that’s doubling down on its oil and gas love affair. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Extinction Rebellion Throws a Block Party at Shell’s Doorstep

Posted by John Donovan 20 March 2024

In a stunning display of “not today, Satan,” climate crusaders from Extinction Rebellion decided it was high time to throw a little shindig at the access roads to Shell Pernis.

The reason for this festive blockade? Shell, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that what the world really needs right now is more oil and gas. Because, of course, the best way to handle a climate crisis is to double down on the cause. It’s a bit like trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it—literally. Meanwhile, Shell’s old rigs and pipelines in the North Sea are enjoying a lovely retirement, slowly rusting away like forgotten relics of a bygone era. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Former Big Cheese Bags £95m

In an astounding turn of events that shocked no one, Shell’s ex-bigwig, Ben van Beurden (left), managed to stuff his pockets with an extra £8.9 million last year, elevating his total take from the oil giant to a modest £95 million. Who said being an eco-villain doesn’t pay well?

In a spectacle of financial gymnastics that would make even Scrooge McDuck blush, a hefty long-term bonus and a golden parachute (sorry, “severance award”) ensured that van Beurden out-earned his successor, Wael Sawan, who had to scrape by on a mere £7.9 million. One can only imagine the penny-pinching at the Sawan household.

Before passing the torch (or should we say oil lamp?) to Sawan, van Beurden amassed a fortune of £86 million, proving that oil really does grease the wheels of personal fortune. Not content with just riding off into the sunset, van Beurden stuck around as an “adviser” for six months, during which he pocketed a £5.1 million long-term bonus and a £1.4 million consolation prize for “loss of office.” Because, clearly, losing an office that pays you in millions is a loss worth compensating. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
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