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Fossil Fuels

Shell Plays It Safe, Pauses Red Sea Shipments

Posted by John Donovan 16 Jan 24

In a move that’s less ‘brave explorer’ and more ‘cautious cat’, Shell, the British oil giant, has reportedly paused its Red Sea fiesta, halting all shipments through this aquatic party zone. Why? Because the Houthi rebels from Yemen have decided to be uninvited party crashers, targeting commercial vessels on this crucial global trade route.

The Wall Street Journal spilt the tea first, citing those ever-mysterious ‘unnamed sources’. When FOX Business tried to get the lowdown from Shell’s office for the Americas, they were met with radio silence. And, in true secretive fashion, the Journal says Shell declined to comment. Talk about playing hard to get! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s ‘Nigerian Goodbye’: A Legacy of Spills, Lawsuits, and a $2.4 Billion ‘See Ya!’

Posted by John Donovan 16 Jan 24

In a move that’s less ‘farewell’ and more ‘good riddance’, Shell is kissing goodbye to its Nigerian onshore oil and gas operations. After almost a century, Shell is packing up its toys – a sprawling network of wells, pipelines, and the occasional oil spill – and handing them over to a consortium for a cool $2.4 billion. Because when you’ve pioneered an industry with a track record of spills and lawsuits, why not cash in one last time? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Pricey Petrol

SHELL IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE PETROL AND DIESEL BRAND IN THE UK

When approached for a comment, Shell, probably busy counting their extra pennies, pointed out that prices vary for mundane reasons …

Posted by John Donovan: 13 Jan 2024

In a dazzling display of corporate generosity, Shell has once again claimed the throne as the monarch of pricey petrol in the UK. Their branded UK forecourts, seemingly allergic to affordability, charged an average of 142.6p per litre for petrol on Thursday. This finding, courtesy of the RAC Foundation, a motoring research charity, underscores Shell’s commitment to ensuring your wallet gets a rigorous exercise every time you refuel.

In this exclusive club of costly fuel, Shell stations are like the VIP section, with their petrol prices outshining all other major retailers. It’s as if they’re hosting a lavish party where the entry fee is just a few extra pennies per litre. But hey, who’s counting?

Now, let’s not forget about supermarket-branded fuel, the humble cousin in this fuel price family reunion. They remain the economical choice, yet the savings gap has been slimming down in recent years, like a diet plan that’s slowly losing its effectiveness.

Morrisons, however, emerges as the people’s champion in this race to the bottom (of prices, that is). Their forecourts have been crowned the most budget-friendly, charging an average of 136.9p per litre for petrol and 145.5p per litre for diesel. To put this into perspective, filling a 55-litre family petrol car at Morrisons instead of Shell saves you £3.14 – that’s almost enough for a fancy coffee!

When approached for a comment, Shell, probably busy counting their extra pennies, pointed out that prices vary for mundane reasons like buying and transporting fuel, and operating each site. They also noted that they only legally control prices at half of the Shell-branded stations in the UK. The other half are run by independent dealers who set their own prices, presumably while twirling their mustaches and laughing maniacally.

Just for kicks, here’s a ranking of fuel retailers according to the average price for a litre of petrol, as per the RAC Foundation’s findings:

  1. Shell: 142.6p (because why not?)
  2. BP: 140.8p (close, but no cigar)
  3. Esso: 139.5p (trying hard)
  4. Texaco: 138.7p (middle of the pack)
  5. Applegreen: 138.0p (green but not cheap)
  6. Jet: 137.9p (flying high)
  7. Tesco: 137.4p (every little helps)
  8. Sainsbury’s: 137.3p (living well for less?)
  9. Asda: 137.2p (saving you money every day?)
  10. Morrisons: 136.9p (every penny counts)

So, next time you’re at a Shell station, remember you’re not just filling your tank; you’re participating in a grand tradition of paying just a little bit more for the privilege. Happy motoring!

DISCLAIMER: Content published on this non-commercial platform may incorporate information generated by Artificial Intelligence (AI) and various other technological means, including translation and information published on Wikipedia. The articles presented may be satirical adaptations derived from one or more previously published sources, crafted to maintain factual accuracy while incorporating elements of satire. Individuals or entities mentioned in our articles are encouraged to notify us of any inaccuracies that may require rectification. Readers are advised to verify all information for accuracy and completeness independently.
This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Dutch Government Reluctantly Flicks On Groningen’s ‘Pilot Light’ Amid Chilly Weather

This backtrack comes after they boldly declared they would end Groningen’s production last October, winding it down over the years because of the pesky earthquakes. But now, they’re exercising their ‘just in case’ option, like someone keeping an ex’s number ‘just for emergencies.’

Posted by John Donovan 10 Jan 24

In a move that screams ‘last resort,’ the Dutch government, like a reluctant parent turning on the night light for a scared child, has decided to fire up the ‘pilot light’ at the Groningen gas field. This decision comes amidst the impending cold snap, reminding everyone that sometimes, even governments have to go back on their word.

NAM (Nederlandse Aardolie Maatschappij), the prodigal child of Shell and Exxon and operator of the Groningen gas field, has a bit of a shaky history, quite literally. This gas field is infamous for its earthquakes, which have been more than just a minor inconvenience for the locals. Picture this: a 3.6 magnitude earthquake back in 2012 near Huizinge, which residents felt more intensely than their morning coffee. No wonder the Dutch cabinet, in a moment of environmental awakening, announced the field’s closure in 2018. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Nigerian Legal Hoopla: Supreme Court Says ‘Yes’ to Pollution Appeal

Shell is still juggling legal hot potatoes both in Nigeria and the United Kingdom. In one corner, about 1,200 plaintiffs in Akure are crying foul over a 2011 oil spill. In the other corner, a UK court is letting a group of Nigerian fishermen cast their legal nets against Shell in yet another lengthy legal saga.

Posted by John Donovan: 8 Jan 24

In a plot twist worthy of a courtroom drama, Shell plc’s Nigerian subsidiary, Shell Petroleum Development Co. (SPDC), has scored what can only be described as a legal slam dunk. Nigeria’s Supreme Court, in a move that surely had Shell’s execs high-fiving, upheld its appeal in a pollution case. This 2022 decision is a big deal, potentially unlocking the gates for Shell to sell off its multi-billion-dollar assets in Nigeria.

Let’s set the legal scene: SPDC, clutching a 30% stake in a Nigerian joint venture, found itself in a pickle when a court order put a big red stop sign on divesting assets until the pollution case was wrapped up. This not only put a wrench in Shell’s plans to offload its onshore oil operations but also highlighted the tangled web of legal challenges in the region. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Financial Rollercoaster: Big Bucks in Gas, Oopsies in Chemicals

Posted by John Donovan 8 Jan 24

In a stunning display of financial gymnastics, Shell has managed to pull off a spectacular feat: raking in the dough from gas trading while simultaneously flagging a modest $2.5 billion to $4.5 billion in impairment costs.

The FTSE 100 energy behemoth, in a Monday announcement that must have had its accountants in a tizzy, warned that it’s expecting to declare these little oopsies in charges. Apparently, these are mostly thanks to its Singapore-based refining and chemical hub having a bit of an off day. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Pennsylvania Plant: A Not-So-Smooth Start in the World of Ethylene Cracking

Posted by John Donovan: 7 Jan 2024

Welcome to the tale of Shell’s Pennsylvania Petrochemicals Complex, an ethylene cracker plant nestled in Potter Township, Pennsylvania.

This story begins with controversy, as most good stories do, which was so elegantly highlighted in an alarming New York Times article – “A Giant Factory Rises to Make a Product Filling up the World: Plastic” – published on August 2, 2019.

Fast forward to its first full year post a decade of planning and building, and oh boy, it’s been a rollercoaster! The plant had to press pause on production now and then for what they call ‘maintenance and adjustments.’ But wait, there’s more! It also caught the eye of state agencies, and not in a good way, racking up several citations for emissions and other trivial matters. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Scores a Courtroom Encore in Nigeria After Alleged Environmental Ode to the Niger Delta

Posted by John Donovan: 5 Jan 24

In a twist befitting a legal drama, Nigeria’s Supreme Court, with all the suspense of a season finale cliffhanger, ruled that Shell – the oil giant with a knack for environmental escapades – should get another day in court over an alleged oil spill in the Niger Delta. This decision came hot on the heels of the Court of Appeal putting a pin in Shell’s asset sale party and insisting on a judgment claim payout before listening to Shell’s sob story. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s CEO Ponders Joining the Fossil Fuel Fiesta in the U.S.

Posted by John Donovan: 6 Jan 24

Wael Sawan, the CEO of Shell, a corporation worth a whopping $214 billion, seems to be eagerly warming the bench as he watches Exxon Mobil and Chevron have all the fun in the Permian, a hotspot for oil that’s as profitable as it is controversial. In 2024, Sawan faces a thrilling dilemma: let his U.S. rivals hog all the glory or jump back into the oil bonanza himself, turning his back on that pesky renewable energy trend.

Rewinding to 2021, when green pressures were all the rage, Sawan’s predecessor, Ben van Beurden, was coaxed into selling assets in the Permian. But fast forward to the present, where the Ukraine war has conveniently dampened Shell’s enthusiasm for reducing oil output. Sawan, playing it cool, has also slyly dropped most of those green targets, and guess what? Investors are loving it. Since Sawan took the helm in 2023, Shell’s stock has soared by 15%, leaving U.S. and European rivals eating its dust. Meanwhile, BP, which took the high road away from oil, is barely keeping pace amid its CEO-hunting saga. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Joins BP in Playground Squabble Over Venture Global LNG’s Toy Box

Posted by John Donovan: 5 Jan 2024

In what seems like a scene straight out of a corporate soap opera, Shell PLC has decided to buddy up with BP PLC in their ongoing tiff with Venture Global LNG. The bone of contention? Access to the apparently exclusive club of liquefied natural gas (LNG) supplies, from which Shell and BP feel unjustly barred. This drama, worth more than a whopping $18 billion in superchilled gas exports, was recently aired out in a filing with U.S. regulators.

Venture Global’s Calcasieu Pass, which sounds more like a secret handshake than an export facility, has been playing the elusive host, producing and selling LNG for over 20 months. Meanwhile, Shell, BP, and their band of energy cronies, including Edison SpA, Polish state firm Orlen, and Spain’s Repsol, have been left knocking at the door, claiming they’ve been ghosted on their term-contract cargoes. Being told that the plant is still ‘getting ready’ – a.k.a. in the commissioning phase – doesn’t sit well with them. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Netherlands CEO Bemoans the Inconvenience of Saving the Planet

Posted by John Donovan: 3 Jan 2024

In a recent outburst of corporate dismay, Shell Netherlands’ CEO, Frans Everts, shed tears over how pesky environmental lawsuits are wreaking havoc on the poor, defenseless business climate in the Netherlands. Speaking to the Telegraaf, he lamented that these legal shenanigans aimed at individual companies like his own are just not cricket, especially when they’re the only ones being told off.

Let’s rewind to 2021, when a court had the audacity to order Shell to cut net carbon emissions by 45% from 2019 levels by 2030. The District Court in The Hague, apparently not understanding how inconvenient this is for oil giants, gave Shell a homework assignment with options – reforestation, carbon capture, you name it. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Oil Magnates Celebrate Profits With A Rain of Cash, While the World Burns

Posted by John Donovan: 2 Jan 2024

Oh, what a time to be alive in the golden age of oil! As the world gasps in horror at climate change and energy crises, our heroic oil companies – BP, Shell, Chevron, ExxonMobil, and TotalEnergies – are set to dole out a staggering $100 billion in payouts to their beloved shareholders. It’s like a fairy tale, where the rich get richer while the planet heats up!

In 2022, these noble guardians of fossil fuels blessed their shareholders with $104 billion in dividends and buybacks, according to the Institute for Energy Economics and Financial Analysis (IEEFA). All this, after a year of record-breaking profits thanks to the turmoil in energy markets. Who knew that a global crisis could be so lucrative? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Prelude FLNG: Now With More Delays and Suspense!

Posted by John Donovan: 27 Dec 2023

Shell’s gargantuan Prelude FLNG, floating off Western Australia like a beached whale, has finally seen a new LNG tanker grace its presence since its ‘scheduled’ maintenance started in August. This grand piece of engineering wizardry shut down for a few months of TLC, but, in true Shell style, they found a few extra chores and extended their spa break.

Reports have been floating around that the Prelude’s makeover is complete, but Shell plays coy, not confirming if their floating giant is ready for the ball. As of now, the Orion Bohemia, a sprightly 174,000-cbm LNG carrier, is hanging out at the FLNG, probably asking, ‘Are we there yet?’ read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Secret Spy Saga: Like a Bad Spy Movie, But With More Oil and Less Charm

Posted 22 December 2023

Oh, the irony! Shell, the ever-so-discreet and not-at-all-nefarious oil giant has been doing its darnedest to keep a lid on some rather unflattering information. But, like a leaky old barrel of their finest crude, the details just keep seeping out, much to their chagrin and our amusement.

Enter the protagonist of our story, John Donovan, and his website royaldutchshellplc.com – Shell’s least favorite bookmark. Despite Shell’s best efforts, Donovan has been quite the busy bee, collecting a swarm of Shell-related secrets. The list of names he’s disclosed reads like a who’s who of corporate espionage, featuring the likes of James J.D. Hall (Shell’s very own top spy), Crockett Oaks III, Mike Oliveri, and Walied Shater. It’s like a spy convention, but with fewer martinis. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

British Museum Gratefully Embraces BP’s ‘Green’ Millions for Grand Makeover

Posted by John Donovan: 19 Dec 2023

In a move that screams “We’re totally in sync with the times,” the British Museum has gleefully jumped into bed with BP, the poster child for environmental mindfulness, for a modest sum of £50m. This cash injection is to fund what’s being touted as the most ambitious arts and crafts project since Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

BP, known far and wide for their green fingers and a heart for the planet, will generously fund the museum’s “masterplan.” This plan, which could be mistaken for a Bond villain’s scheme for world domination, is estimated to cost a meager £1bn. And who better to foot the bill than a company renowned for its love of Mother Earth?

In this audacious display of modernity, the museum plans to give its Bloomsbury building a facelift, because what’s more important than looking good? The museum proudly proclaims the project’s “scale, complexity, and importance,” seemingly forgetting to mention the ‘irony’ aspect. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Floating Money Machine Back in Action Just in Time for Winter Profits

…let’s take a stroll down memory lane. The Prelude, a name that surely suggests a grand beginning, has had a few… let’s call them hiccups, since its 2019 debut. A fire here, a full power loss there – just the usual teething problems for the world’s largest floating LNG facility. The Prelude’s track record reads a bit like a soap opera plot – halted production, union strikes for higher wages, and let’s not forget the cozy little fire…

Posted by John Donovan:  18 Dec 2023

Ah, the wonders of modern technology and impeccable timing! Shell, ever the paragon of environmental stewardship and operational smoothness, has graced the world with the news that its Prelude LNG facility is back up and running. This floating marvel, which stretches longer than four soccer fields (because size matters in the world of fossil fuels), is conveniently revving up just as the northern hemisphere enters its peak gas-guzzling season. Talk about timing! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
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