Royal Dutch Shell Plc  .com Rotating Header Image

Greenhouse gas

Shell Revels in Petro Profits as World Pleads for Climate Mercy

Posted by John Donovan: 2 November 2023

In a spectacle of corporate jubilation, Shell has flaunted a $6.2 billion profit bonanza, much to the horror of environmentalists and the delight of shareholders rubbing their hands in glee. As if mother nature hadn’t suffered enough, Shell has profited handsomely from the oil price bounce, a merry-go-round fueled by Opec+’s crafty production cuts and the sad ongoing soap opera of global conflicts.

This show of profits, a slight dip from last year’s staggering $9.4 billion—when oil prices soared amidst the heart-wrenching drama of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine—still paints a rosy picture for Shell’s ledger. It seems the oil barons have found their silver lining in the dark clouds of geopolitical turmoil, with the World Bank casting a doomsday prophecy of oil prices potentially skyrocketing to an eye-watering $150 a barrel. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Whispers of a BP-Shell super merger

Posted by John Donovan: 31 October 2023

Once upon a time in a land far, far away from the reality of climate change, the noble knights of Big Oil gallantly rebranded their annual jamboree to “Energy Intelligence,” because, as we all know, changing your name changes your impact on the planet. Meanwhile, our heroes of the hour, Fossil Free London, were throwing a bit of a festive blockade party at the Intercontinental. You might’ve heard of Greta Thunberg? Yeah, she was there, got a badge of honor in the form of a public disorder charge. So large was the fiesta that Shell’s head honcho Wael Sawan had to resort to Zoom to address his oil-loving subjects. How… quaint. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Kudos to Havas! Because Nothing Screams ‘Ethical’ Like Partnering with Big Oil

Posted by John Donovan: 22 October 2023

Oh, what a time to be alive! The ever-glorious and virtuous B Corp-certified agency, Havas, known for its undying commitment to ethical operations, has taken a brave leap into new realms of “ethics.” By choosing to partner with Shell – the beloved eco-friendly giant known (in some very narrow circles) for its deep love for the environment – Havas has demonstrated its sheer commitment to… well, we’re not sure yet, but surely it’s something great! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Delayed Court Battle in South Africa – Because Who Needs Pristine Coasts Anyway?

Posted by John Donovan: 18 October 2023

Oh, the audacity of those pesky environmentalists and their legal battles! It seems that Shell’s grand plan to explore for oil and gas off South Africa’s Wild Coast has hit a little snag, but who cares about the environment when there’s money to be made, right?

The court case, which was supposed to determine whether Shell can turn a beautiful, untouched piece of the world into its personal playground, has been conveniently delayed until next year. How considerate! Ricky Stone, the lawyer for environmentalists from Greenpeace Africa and Natural Justice, revealed, “It doesn’t seem like it (hearing) will be this year and will likely be heard in the first term of 2024 only.” Because, you know, protecting the environment can wait. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s CEO Discovers a Magical New Path to Net Zero Emissions, Shares Soar!

As always, Shell is cordially invited to point out any factual inaccuracies, although we suspect they’re too busy counting their rising profits to bother.

Posted by John Donovan: 17 October 2023

Oh, what a delightful twist in the ever-entertaining saga of Shell’s environmental pursuits! Shell Plc’s CEO, Wael Sawan, has emerged as a visionary leader, unveiling a groundbreaking new approach to achieving net zero emissions. Never mind that the company’s shares are soaring to levels unseen in five years – we have a new pathway to salvation!

Sawan, the brilliant mastermind, clarified the situation with utmost confidence, saying, “For avoidance of doubt, what hasn’t changed is the destination that we have set for ourselves. What has changed is the pathway we’re going to get there.” It’s almost poetic, isn’t it? The destination remains unchanged, but the journey, oh, the journey is now filled with unprecedented twists and turns. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Finds a Warm Welcome at Havas as Extinction Rebellion Throws Surprise Party

Posted by John Donovan 17 October 2023

Oh, what a delightful turn of events! Extinction Rebellion, everyone’s favorite road-blocking, climate-conscious disruptors, have graced Havas in London with their presence. They’re quite the party planners, aren’t they?

The Extinction Rebellion activists, in all their theatrical glory, decided to pay a visit to Havas in King’s Cross, expressing their heartfelt concerns about Havas’ audacious decision to collaborate with the villainous Shell. It’s almost as if the protesters care more about the environment than Havas’ bottom line – how shocking! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Latest PR Stunt: Trying To Convince Us They Care!

Posted by John Donovan:

9 October 2023

Oh, look who’s back in the news! It’s our favorite planet-loving company, Shell! The same Shell, best known for its endless love for the environment, has graced us with yet another PR move. Because, you know, a giant oil conglomerate searching for a new PR agency partner is definitely the solution to climate change. They want to find someone who can offer all the bells and whistles—corporate comms, public affairs, influencer management—you name it. Maybe they should also add “genuine care for the environment” to that list, but hey, who are we to suggest? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Alumni Gathering: Wopke Hoekstra’s Twisted Journey from Oil Fields to EU’s Climate Command

Posted by John Donovan:

5 October 2023

BRUSSELS -The land of waffles, chocolate, and now… turning former oilmen into climate saviour’s.

European lawmakers decided to test Mr. Wopke Hoekstra’s climate sincerity, given his impressive CV flaunting a young, budding career at everyone’s eco-hero, Shell. Yet after whispering a few extra sweet nothings about stronger green measures, the green light shone on him on Wednesday.

At a spry 48, Hoekstra is gearing up to shape EU’s battle strategies against climate change. Who better to lead this vital mission in the world’s third-largest economy than someone intimately familiar with the internal workings of, ahem, Big Oil? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s CEO Attempts a Heart-to-Heart, but Is Anyone Buying It?

Posted by John Donovan 5 October 2023

In an astonishing move to show he’s “in touch” with the times, Shell Plc’s Chief Emotional Officer, Wael Sawan, plans a virtual pow-wow to soothe the jittery nerves of his eco-anxious troops. You know, those rightfully concerned about the planet’s future and all.

Remember when Sawan became the darling of environmentalists everywhere by – wait for it – prioritizing shareholder returns and reigniting Shell’s love affair with oil and gas? No? Oh, right, because that didn’t happen. What he did instead was ruffle the feathers of a number of employees, particularly the free thinkers over in the Renewables and Energy Solutions division.

Our dear CEO has kindly invited the Shell family to a little digital tea party titled “A Conversation With Wael” this October 17. The purpose? To “deepen our conversation on the opportunities and dilemmas we face as we position Shell to win in the energy transition,” an invitation bragged. The translation: “Let’s chat about why we’re clinging to our old ways, even though the house is literally on fire.”

Ahead of this riveting rendezvous, employees took to an internal forum. One heroic individual shared their struggle, stating the company’s customer-led approach makes bedtime stories with the kids a tad challenging: “It’s difficult for me to justify to my kids,” they said. Another keen observer noted that recent asset sales had Shell looking less “futuristic” and more “back in my day.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell CEO Defends Unwavering Commitment to Environmental Exploitation”

Who cares about the planet when there are shareholders to appease and profits to be made?

Posted by John Donovan 3 October 2023

In a stunning revelation at the ADIPEC energy conference in Abu Dhabi, Shell’s Chief Executive Officer, Wael Sawan, made it abundantly clear that the company has absolutely no intention of altering its time-tested strategy. 

Yes, you read that right, folks. Shell, the benevolent guardian of the planet, is graciously allowing shareholders to decide if they want to invest in their so-called “low carbon energy options.” It’s heartwarming to see a company that has made billions off fossil fuels suddenly embrace the green revolution with such enthusiasm. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Brilliant Strategy: Ignoring the Environment and Riding the Oil Wave

By June, Sawan had a change of heart, and that pledge to cut oil production by 2030? Gone, like yesterday’s news.

Posted by John Donovan 30 Sept 2023

In the thrilling world of oil and gas, where environmental concerns are nothing but a pesky fly to be swatted away, Shell’s CEO, Wael Sawan, is emerging as a true visionary. While the world was distracted by lockdowns and declining industrial activity in March 2020, Shell made a bold move that left us all in awe—well, not really.

You see, in 2021, Shell made a groundbreaking announcement: they would cut their oil production by a whopping 1-2% per year until 2030 and generously toss a few investments into renewables. Naturally, some of us sceptics thought this idea was about as half-baked as a frozen pizza. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Employees Shockingly Expect Oil Giant to Prioritize Renewables Over Profit

It’s almost as if these employees think that transitioning to renewable energy is more important than, say, maximizing profits from fossil fuels. How quaint!

Posted by John Donovan 27 Sept 2023

In a mind-boggling display of naivety, some Shell employees have had the audacity to openly express concerns about the company’s energy transition strategy. They’ve even had the nerve to urge CEO Wael Sawan not to retreat from renewables! Can you believe it?

In an open letter that probably sent shockwaves through the hallowed halls of Shell’s corporate headquarters, two employees from Shell’s low-carbon division dared to share their thoughts. The letter made its way onto the company’s intranet, sparking what we can only imagine was a lively debate among Shell executives about whether or not the Earth is flat. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

California is suing Big Oil, accusing them of climate change ‘deception’

Los Angeles Times

Sept 18, 2023

California is no stranger to fighting climate change with legal battles. But late last week, state officials announced a truly heavyweight match.

Atty. Gen. Rob Bonta has filed a lawsuit against five major oil companies and their trade association, alleging their involvement in “a decades-long campaign of deception and creating statewide climate change-related harms in California.”

Bonta said Exxon Mobil, Shell, Chevron, ConocoPhillips and BP — along with the American Petroleum Institute (API) — have long known “that the burning of fossil fuels leads to climate change — but have fed us lies and mistruths to further their record-breaking profits at the expense of our environment.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Heartwarming Concern for Children: Protecting Oil & Gas Production for the Kids

Posted by John Donovan August 12, 2023

In a truly heartwarming display of compassion, Shell’s CEO, Wael Sawan, has taken a bold stance to protect the future of children. With unwavering dedication, Sawan defended the ongoing production of oil and gas, reminding us all that sacrificing a habitable planet is a small price to pay for children’s access to abundant hydrocarbons.

Sawan, the CEO of just under a year, has deftly steered Shell back to its roots, emphasizing its “ruthless” commitment to maximizing profits while minimizing any pesky environmental concerns. The slight detour towards renewables was only a momentary lapse, as evidenced by the departure of Thomas Brostrom, who foolishly entertained the idea of a greener energy future. Clearly, Sawan understands that the only way forward is through a haze of fossil fuels. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Noble Eco-Mission: Demolishing Old HQ to Release Carbon Emissions

Let’s celebrate Shell’s exceptional eco-destruction and eagerly anticipate the next chapter in their mesmerizing journey toward a more polluted world. In the grand tapestry of Shell’s environmental exploits, this move shines as a beacon of unparalleled audacity. 

Posted by John Donovan August 12, 2023

Aberdeen, a city renowned for its beautiful granite architecture and oil riches, has been gifted with another masterpiece – Shell’s plan to knock down its former headquarters. This daring move is set to unleash a “vast amount of carbon emissions into the atmosphere,” showcasing Shell’s exceptional commitment to environmental preservation.

Shell, that beacon of sustainable practices, had graced Aberdeen with a modernist headquarters for five glorious decades before deciding to relocate last year. But wait, what’s even more thrilling than a stunning headquarters? Demolishing it! Shell’s brilliant strategy to demolish rather than upgrade and repurpose the building has sparked a delightful controversy. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s ‘obscene’ $5bn profits

While Europe swelters in record-breaking heat, Shell stays cool as a cucumber and defiantly plans to increase oil and gas production. It’s heartwarming to witness such dedication to contributing to the climate crisis while lining their own pockets. Truly, a match made in heaven.

Posted by John Donovan: July 27, 2023

In a stunning display of corporate restraint, British oil giant Shell reported a mere $5.1 billion in profits for the second quarter, triggering waves of gratitude and appreciation from climate activists across the globe. The figures came as a pleasant surprise, as analysts had anticipated an even higher windfall of $6 billion. Oh, Shell, you’ve truly outdone yourself!

Environmental campaigners, whose hearts are bursting with joy, condemned the profit figures as “obscene.” They simply can’t contain their delight as they watch Shell prioritize its shareholders’ happiness over the health of our planet. How thoughtful! And let’s not forget the beautiful billboard lovingly erected by Greenpeace activists outside Shell’s London headquarters, with the message “Our profit, your loss.” Such a touching sentiment! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
Comment Rules

  • Please show respect to the opinions of others no matter how seemingly far-fetched.
  • Abusive, foul language, and/or divisive comments may be deleted without notice.
  • Each blog member is allowed limited comments, as displayed above the comment box.
  • Comments must be limited to the number of words displayed above the comment box.
  • Please limit one comment after any comment posted per post.