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Shell: Masters of Environmental Destruction, Not So Keen on New York Relisting Right Now

Posted 2 May 2024 by John Donovan

In a stunning display of corporate benevolence, Shell’s CEO Wael Sawan announced that the oil behemoth is graciously not considering relisting in New York at the moment. How thoughtful! Instead, they’re laser-focused on buying back shares, because apparently, that’s what the world needs more of—Shell shares.

Sawan, in a call with analysts, outlined Shell’s noble mission to bridge the valuation gap with its U.S. rivals. Because, you know, when you’re already swimming in oil money, why not aim for even more obscene profits? “We will always have something like a listing or other elements under review,” Sawan remarked, as if to say, “We’re always on the lookout for new ways to exploit the planet.”

And just in case you were wondering, Shell’s shares are currently trading below “fair market value,” according to Sawan. Well, gosh darn it, we can’t have that, can we? Because when you’re a ruthless polluter, it’s crucial that your stock price reflects your true worth as a destroyer of ecosystems. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Profit Bonanza: Because Who Needs a Planet Anyway?

Posted by John Donovan: 2 May 2024

In a jaw-dropping display of corporate gluttony, Shell has proudly announced a first-quarter profit of $7.7 billion, leaving investors rubbing their hands in glee and environmentalists shaking their heads in disbelief.

But fear not, dear shareholders, for Shell has graciously decided to share the wealth by repurchasing a further $3.5 billion of its own shares over the next three months. Because nothing says “responsible corporate citizen” like lining your own pockets while the planet burns, right?

CEO Wael Sawan couldn’t contain his excitement, declaring it “another quarter of strong operational and financial performance.” Ah, yes, because who cares about the climate crisis when there are profits to be made? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Climate Action: A Comedy of Errors

Posted by John Donovan: 2 May 2024

In a truly laughable turn of events, big investors in Shell are urging their fellow shareholders to support greater climate action. Because nothing says “let’s save the planet” like being one of the world’s largest fossil fuel producers, right?

These investors, including the likes of Amundi and Axa Investment Managers, are collectively clutching about 2.5 percent of Shell’s shares and have filed a resolution calling on the company to align its greenhouse gas emissions targets with the Paris Agreement. Because apparently, Shell’s current “targets and ambitions” – you know, the ones that conveniently ignore the impending climate catastrophe – just aren’t cutting it. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s “Green” Exit from China: Profit Over Planet

Posted by John Donovan: 2 May 2024

In a move that truly exemplifies their commitment to saving the planet, Shell has decided to bid farewell to their power generation business in China. But fear not, fellow Earthlings, for they’re not completely abandoning their efforts to combat climate change – they’re just prioritising profits over, well, everything else.

Shell’s CEO wants you to know that reducing global oil and gas production would be “dangerous and irresponsible.” Because obviously, what the world really needs right now is more hydrocarbons. It’s not like we’re facing a climate crisis or anything.

Closing divisions that generate green power and trade in low-carbon electricity, Shell bids adieu to nearly 2,000 employees across China, proving once again that when it comes to corporate responsibility, they’re the epitome of… something.

But hey, don’t let the door hit you on the way out of China, Shell. They’re keeping their electric vehicle charging operation open because, you know, electric cars are the future. Or maybe they just realized there’s money to be made there. Who can tell? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Shameful Nazi Past: Funding Adolf Hitler

Posted by John Donovan 1 May 2024

We’re taking a trip down memory lane to the dark days of World War II. You know, back when Hitler was still rocking his signature mustache and the world was in a state of utter chaos. But guess who was lurking in the shadows. None other than our pals at Royal Dutch Shell.

Yep, turns out, while Hitler was busy turning Europe into his own personal playground, Shell was right there by his side, cheering him on like a proud parent at a Little League game. According to the annals of history, Shell’s big boss man, Sir Henri Deterding, was practically BFFs with ol’ Adolf himself. They even had cozy 4 day meeting at Berchtesgaden, where they presumably chatted about world domination over tea and biscuits. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

US Lawmakers Roast Oil Titans for Climate Circus: Shell Plays Shell Games While Exxon Pulls a Vanishing Act

Posted by John Donovan: 30 April 2024

Well, grab your popcorn folks, because it’s showtime in the political circus! Democratic lawmakers in the US just dropped a bombshell report, and guess who’s in the spotlight? Yep, you guessed it: our favourite fossil fuel fiends, Big Oil.

According to the Democrats’ dossier, oil companies have been twirling their moustaches and cackling maniacally as they pull the wool over everyone’s eyes. It’s like a Shakespearean tragedy but with more oil rigs and fewer tragic heroes. The House Committee on Oversight and Accountability, after nearly three years of sleuthing, finally uncovered the dastardly deeds of Exxon Mobil Corp., Chevron Corp., and our very own Shell Plc, among others.

The report reads like a thriller novel, accusing oil companies of a laundry list of sins. From pretending to support the Paris climate agreement while secretly planning their next fossil fuel fiesta, to hawking gas as a clean energy solution while conveniently ignoring its planet-roasting properties, these guys have truly mastered the art of deception. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Rakes in $1 Billion Annually from US Crude Trading, Lawsuit Exposes

Posted by John Donovan: 29 April 2024

 The mighty overlords at Shell, the beacon of environmental care and ethical capitalism, have been caught with their hands elbow-deep in the oil barrel yet again. In a jaw-dropping turn of events, a former lackey of the corporate behemoth decided to spill the crude beans in a Texas courtroom. And oh boy, what a gusher of greed it revealed!

According to the holy scrolls of court documents, Shell’s secret stash of greenbacks from its U.S. crude trading operations is enough to make Scrooge McDuck blush.

John Dimech, a once-upon-a-time head honcho in Shell’s oil trading circus, spilled the oily tea during his deposition, admitting that the company’s crude trading division churns out a cool $950 million to $1 billion annually. That’s right, folks, while you’re struggling to fill up your gas tank, Shell is swimming in a sea of black gold.

But wait, there’s more! Not only does Shell rake in more cash than a Vegas casino on a Saturday night, but it also showers its traders with bonuses so hefty they could probably buy a small island nation. Move over, CEOs, because these folks are bringing home the real bacon. Forget your measly millions; we’re talking about bonuses that could rival the GDP of a small country. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and Co. Dance to the Tune of Deception: Big Oil’s Big Tobacco Moment

Posted by John Donovan: 28 April 2024

Welcome to the latest episode of “Guess Who’s Ruining the Planet Today?” Surprise, surprise, it’s none other than the bigwigs of Big Oil, who’ve been keeping up their ‘charming’ tradition of wrecking the environment while lining their pockets with gold.

Enter California’s knight in shining armour, Attorney General Rob Bonta, who’s decided to take on the corporate leviathans like BP, Shell, ExxonMobil, ConocoPhillips, and Chevron, along with their trusty sidekick, the American Petroleum Institute (API). Why? Oh, just for orchestrating a little thing called the climate crisis.

Bonta’s not pulling punches either; he’s slapping them with a 135-page lawsuit, armed with what he calls “smoking gun” evidence. And guess what? He’s not alone in this fight. Dozens of states are lining up to join the fray. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Desperate Dash to Ditch London: An Epic Solution to Their Share Woes?

Posted by John Donovan: 21 April 2024

In a move that screams “What the hell are we even doing anymore?”, Shell, the grand poobah of the London Stock Exchange, is flirting with the idea of dumping the UK for a shot at American glory. But will this desperate shuffle truly be the panacea for their valuation nightmares? Spoiler alert: probably not.

Former Shell bigwig Ben van Beurden seems to think so, eloquently describing London’s valuation of Shell as being on par with a discount bin at a dollar store. Current head honcho Wael Sawan chimes in, echoing the sentiment with all the finesse of a bull in a china shop, claiming they’ve got “a location that clearly seems to be undervalued” and they’re ready to roll the dice on “all options. All options.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Climate Conundrum

Posted by John Donovan: 19 April 2024

Well, folks, grab your popcorn because it’s time for another episode of “Shell Says What?” In today’s edition, our favorite fossil fuel giant is back at it again, telling shareholders that, hey, maybe we’re doing just fine with this whole climate change thing, thank you very much.

 Shell is urging shareholders to give a big fat thumbs-down to a proposal that would actually push the company to step up its game in the fight against climate change. Because who needs tighter climate targets when you’ve got profits to chase, am I right? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and BP: Time to Jump Ship to the Land of Oil Lovers?

Posted by John Donovan: 19 April 2024

Well, well, well, look who’s feeling the heat across the pond! It seems like Europe’s giving our dear oil giants, Shell and BP, a real headache with all that pesky climate policy and regulatory drama.

But fear not, fellow capitalists! The good ol’ U.S. of A. is rolling out the red carpet, ready to embrace these struggling energy giants with open arms. That’s right, Houston’s calling, and it’s saying, “Come on over, we’ve got plenty of love for oil and gas.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Arctic Drilling Plan Faces Legal Iceberg Amidst Environmental Uproar

Posted by John Donovan: 17 April 2024

Well, folks, Shell just can’t resist the urge to poke the Arctic bear, and environmentalists are not having it. Cue the lawsuits, the drama, and the eye-rolling.

So, here’s the scoop: Shell wants to dive headfirst into drilling in the Arctic Ocean, and the U.S. government is giving them a thumbs-up. But guess who’s not clapping? Yep, you guessed it – environmentalists.

These green warriors are not about to let Shell turn the Arctic into their personal oil playground. Oh no, they’re taking the fight straight to the courts. The Sierra Club and their buddies have filed a lawsuit faster than you can say “polar ice caps.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s CEO Hits the Jackpot While Employees Scratch for Pennies

Posted by John Donovan: 14 April 2024

In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Royal Dutch Shell has defended its decision to shower CEO Ben van Beurden with a 126% pay increase last year. Because, you know, why should the average Joe get a decent paycheck when the big boss can swim in a pool of cash?

According to the oil giant’s annual report, van Beurden pocketed a jaw-dropping £17 million in 2018. And if that wasn’t enough to make you spit out your coffee, a hefty £13 million of that came from a long-term incentive plan. Talk about hitting the jackpot! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s London Departure: The Ultimate “What the Frack” Moment

Posted by John Donovan: 14 April 2024

In a stunning twist, Shell, Britain’s oil giant turned Wall Street wannabe, is eyeing a breakup with London. What’s the fuss? Well, according to CEO Wael Sawan, London’s cramping Shell’s style. But is this really about undervaluation or just a ploy to pump up the share price?

Sawan’s singing the same old tune: London’s dragging Shell down. With taxes, politics, and capital woes, it’s like the city’s throwing a share price pity party. “I have a location that clearly seems to be undervalued,” he moans to Bloomberg. Cue the violins. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Climate Appeal: Lobbying for “Transition” or Just Hot Air?

Posted by John Donovan: 13 April 2024

In a courtroom showdown that could make or break the fight against climate change, Shell is pulling out all the stops to wriggle out of its responsibility to slash emissions. But are they really fighting for the “energy transition” or just looking out for their own oily interests?

Milieudefensie, the Dutch branch of Friends of the Earth, isn’t buying Shell’s greenwashing. They’re pushing for a tougher stance on emissions cuts, arguing that Shell shouldn’t just sell off assets to meet targets. But Shell’s lawyers are crying foul, claiming that forcing them to reduce emissions could lead to “asset decommissioning” – as if that’s somehow worse than the climate crisis. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s London Exodus Threatens UK’s Stock Market Status Quo

Posted by John Donovan: 8 April 2024

In a move that screams “Sayonara, London,” Shell is eyeing an escape to New York, leaving the UK stock market reeling and investors scratching their heads.

Wael Sawan, Shell’s big cheese, dropped the bombshell, hinting at the company’s dissatisfaction with its London listing. “I have a location that clearly seems to be undervalued,” he lamented, painting a picture of a company unappreciated and unloved.

But why the sudden urge to swap tea for coffee? Well, it seems Shell is tired of playing second fiddle to its American counterparts. With Exxon Mobil and Chevron strutting their stuff on Wall Street, Shell feels like the neglected stepchild stuck in dreary old London. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.