News and information on Shell Plc
Posted by John Donovan: 19 April 2024
Well, well, well, look who’s feeling the heat across the pond! It seems like Europe’s giving our dear oil giants, Shell and BP, a real headache with all that pesky climate policy and regulatory drama.
But fear not, fellow capitalists! The good ol’ U.S. of A. is rolling out the red carpet, ready to embrace these struggling energy giants with open arms. That’s right, Houston’s calling, and it’s saying, “Come on over, we’ve got plenty of love for oil and gas.”
Posted by John Donovan: 8 April 2024
In a move that screams “Sayonara, London,” Shell is eyeing an escape to New York, leaving the UK stock market reeling and investors scratching their heads.
Wael Sawan, Shell’s big cheese, dropped the bombshell, hinting at the company’s dissatisfaction with its London listing. “I have a location that clearly seems to be undervalued,” he lamented, painting a picture of a company unappreciated and unloved.
But why the sudden urge to swap tea for coffee? Well, it seems Shell is tired of playing second fiddle to its American counterparts. With Exxon Mobil and Chevron strutting their stuff on Wall Street, Shell feels like the neglected stepchild stuck in dreary old London.
Another day, another dose of corporate greed and environmental destruction. Will these oil giants ever learn? Or will they continue to put profits over the planet?Posted by John Donovan 30 March 2024
Brace yourselves for another round of corporate shenanigans, this time starring none other than Shell, the world’s second-largest oil and gas company. In a move that surprises absolutely no one except maybe the most optimistic tree-hugger, Shell has decided to scale back its climate pledges. Saving the planet is just too darn risky for these fossil fuel titans.
Shell’s chief executive, Wael Sawan, voiced his concerns to Reuters, declaring it “perilous” to set emission reduction targets for 2035 due to the “uncertainty” in the energy transition trajectory. Translation: We’re not sure if we want to stop destroying the planet just yet, folks.
Posted by John Donovan 28 March 2024You see, carbon dioxide storage is the latest cash cow for these fossil fuel fiends, promising them billions in revenue while they continue to wreak havoc on our planet. And where better to dump their toxic waste than in countries like Indonesia and Malaysia, where regulations are lax and profits are high?
Exxon Mobil’s CEO Darren Woods is practically giddy at the prospect, boasting about securing “exclusive rights to CO2 storage” in these unsuspecting nations. Nothing says “saving the planet” like monopolizing the substance driving us towards environmental catastrophe.
“These companies have known since at least the 1950s that their ways of doing business were having calamitous effects on our planet, and rather than change what they were doing or raise the alarm, they lied to all of us.”Posted by John Donovan 27 March 2024
In a move that surprises exactly no one who’s been paying attention to the planet literally burning, Bucks County, nestled in suburban Philadelphia, has taken a bold step in joining the chorus of voices suing Big Oil for their epic saga of deception regarding climate change.
Bucks County, in its lawsuit against a handful of oil behemoths, points fingers at these corporate giants for a litany of sins, including but not limited to, more storms than a Shakespearean tragedy, flooding that would make Noah blush, and heat waves that would melt the polar ice caps faster than you can say “polar bear.” Oh, and let’s not forget the casualties—like the seven unfortunate souls who met their watery demise in a flash flood last summer, courtesy of climate change’s MVPs: oil companies.
Posted by John Donovan: 24 March 2024It seems the recent oil price rollercoaster was triggered by Russia saying “nyet” to an OPEC agreement to cut output. And just like that, the oil market went from “steady sailing” to “full-blown panic mode” faster than you can say “fossil fuels are so last century.”
Now, in a desperate attempt to keep investors from jumping ship, oil companies are scrambling to reassess their spending plans. But let’s be real here, folks—when your primary source of income is as volatile as a teenager’s mood swings, you’re bound to hit a few bumps in the road.
Posted by John Donovan: 20 March 2024
In a dazzling display of corporate doublethink, oil moguls gathered in Houston, casually shrugging off any pretence of urgency in the face of the climate crisis. Despite John F. Kerry’s victory lap at the U.N. Climate Change Conference in Dubai, declaring a monumental shift away from fossil fuels, the lords of oil in Houston had a hearty laugh. “Missed the memo, John,” they seemed to say, before diving into their Scrooge McDuck-style money vaults.
Havas, the brave soul who took on the Shell media account, found itself in hot water, experiencing a backlash that could only be described as what happens when you realize you’ve accidentally helped decorate the banquet hall for the Titanic’s farewell dinner.Posted by John Donovan: 20 March 2024
In an era where even our snacks are going green, Comms Declare, the activist group with a penchant for ruining Big Oil’s marketing dreams, has issued a stark warning to all ad agencies: pitching for Shell Energy’s creative account is like signing a deal with the devil but with less fire and more gaslighting.
Shell, known affectionately as the Olympic champion of gaslighting, has put on its best sheep’s clothing, beckoning ad agencies to help peddle its renewables and energy solutions business in Australia. But Comms Declare is calling BS, suggesting that anyone who takes the bait is essentially propping up the glossy facade of a company that’s doubling down on its oil and gas love affair.
…let’s face it, entrusting the fate of our planet and our pockets to these profit-obsessed behemoths is like asking a fox to guard the henhousePosted by John Donovan: 19 Feb 24
Ladies and gents, fasten your seatbelts for a ride on the Greed Express, hosted by none other than the world’s oil oligarchs, those darlings of disaster, who’ve been making it rain with profits while the world burns (literally and metaphorically). In the blue corner, weighing in with more dollars than decency, are the heavyweights of hydrocarbons: BP, Shell, Chevron, ExxonMobil, and TotalEnergies. Together, these titans of turmoil have bagged a cool $281 billion in profits since Russia decided to play war games in Ukraine. That’s billion, with a “B,” folks.
Posted by John Donovan; 14 Feb 24
In an epic tale of corporate vs. nature, Shell and ExxonMobil, the dynamic duo of fossil fuel festivities, have decided it’s time to drag the Dutch government to arbitration court. Why, you ask? Well, they’re a tad miffed that the Netherlands dared to halt their gas-guzzling shindig at the Groningen field, a once merry-go-round of gas supply that fueled Europe’s energy binges for decades.
Let’s set the scene: Groningen, a field so bountiful that Mother Nature herself might blush, has been the life of the party since the swinging ’60s. But as with all good things, the Dutch government, in a move as buzz-killing as it was seismic, decided in 2018 that the earth-shaking consequences of gas extraction were a party foul too severe. By last year, they called last rounds, decreeing that wells be shut down faster than you can say “earthquake.”
Posted by John Donovan: 19 Jan 24
In the latest episode of ‘Shell’s Adventures in Nigeria,’ the British multinational energy giant, known for its gentle caress of the environment (cue eye roll), has announced plans to sell off its onshore Nigerian subsidiary, Shell Petroleum Development Company (SPDC). The price tag? A cool $2.4 billion (€2.2 billion). The buyers? Renaissance, a band of Nigerian explorers and an international energy group. But wait, there’s a catch – it’s still waiting for the Nigerian government’s thumbs up.
Shell’s Job Cutting SpreePosted by John Donovan: 18 Jan 24
In a move that’s less about saving the planet and more about saving pennies, Shell Plc has kicked off a spree of job cuts. And guess what? The low-carbon solutions unit is first in line! Because who needs a greener future when you can have a leaner payroll, right?
Sources spilling the beans to Bloomberg revealed that Shell is on a mission to ‘create more value through simplification and discipline.’ Translation: ‘Let’s chop jobs to boost our bottom line.’ The low-carbon business folks are getting their marching orders first, with the corporate affairs division and project and technology departments soon to join the unemployment queue.
Posted by John Donovan: 13 Jan 2024
In a dazzling display of corporate generosity, Shell has once again claimed the throne as the monarch of pricey petrol in the UK. Their branded UK forecourts, seemingly allergic to affordability, charged an average of 142.6p per litre for petrol on Thursday. This finding, courtesy of the RAC Foundation, a motoring research charity, underscores Shell’s commitment to ensuring your wallet gets a rigorous exercise every time you refuel.
In this exclusive club of costly fuel, Shell stations are like the VIP section, with their petrol prices outshining all other major retailers. It’s as if they’re hosting a lavish party where the entry fee is just a few extra pennies per litre. But hey, who’s counting?
Now, let’s not forget about supermarket-branded fuel, the humble cousin in this fuel price family reunion. They remain the economical choice, yet the savings gap has been slimming down in recent years, like a diet plan that’s slowly losing its effectiveness.
Morrisons, however, emerges as the people’s champion in this race to the bottom (of prices, that is). Their forecourts have been crowned the most budget-friendly, charging an average of 136.9p per litre for petrol and 145.5p per litre for diesel. To put this into perspective, filling a 55-litre family petrol car at Morrisons instead of Shell saves you £3.14 – that’s almost enough for a fancy coffee!
When approached for a comment, Shell, probably busy counting their extra pennies, pointed out that prices vary for mundane reasons like buying and transporting fuel, and operating each site. They also noted that they only legally control prices at half of the Shell-branded stations in the UK. The other half are run by independent dealers who set their own prices, presumably while twirling their mustaches and laughing maniacally.
Just for kicks, here’s a ranking of fuel retailers according to the average price for a litre of petrol, as per the RAC Foundation’s findings:
So, next time you’re at a Shell station, remember you’re not just filling your tank; you’re participating in a grand tradition of paying just a little bit more for the privilege. Happy motoring!
This backtrack comes after they boldly declared they would end Groningen’s production last October, winding it down over the years because of the pesky earthquakes. But now, they’re exercising their ‘just in case’ option, like someone keeping an ex’s number ‘just for emergencies.’Posted by John Donovan 10 Jan 24
In a move that screams ‘last resort,’ the Dutch government, like a reluctant parent turning on the night light for a scared child, has decided to fire up the ‘pilot light’ at the Groningen gas field. This decision comes amidst the impending cold snap, reminding everyone that sometimes, even governments have to go back on their word.
NAM (Nederlandse Aardolie Maatschappij), the prodigal child of Shell and Exxon and operator of the Groningen gas field, has a bit of a shaky history, quite literally. This gas field is infamous for its earthquakes, which have been more than just a minor inconvenience for the locals. Picture this: a 3.6 magnitude earthquake back in 2012 near Huizinge, which residents felt more intensely than their morning coffee. No wonder the Dutch cabinet, in a moment of environmental awakening, announced the field’s closure in 2018.
Posted by John Donovan: 5 Jan 24
In a twist befitting a legal drama, Nigeria’s Supreme Court, with all the suspense of a season finale cliffhanger, ruled that Shell – the oil giant with a knack for environmental escapades – should get another day in court over an alleged oil spill in the Niger Delta. This decision came hot on the heels of the Court of Appeal putting a pin in Shell’s asset sale party and insisting on a judgment claim payout before listening to Shell’s sob story.
Posted by John Donovan: 6 Jan 24
Wael Sawan, the CEO of Shell, a corporation worth a whopping $214 billion, seems to be eagerly warming the bench as he watches Exxon Mobil and Chevron have all the fun in the Permian, a hotspot for oil that’s as profitable as it is controversial. In 2024, Sawan faces a thrilling dilemma: let his U.S. rivals hog all the glory or jump back into the oil bonanza himself, turning his back on that pesky renewable energy trend.
Rewinding to 2021, when green pressures were all the rage, Sawan’s predecessor, Ben van Beurden, was coaxed into selling assets in the Permian. But fast forward to the present, where the Ukraine war has conveniently dampened Shell’s enthusiasm for reducing oil output. Sawan, playing it cool, has also slyly dropped most of those green targets, and guess what? Investors are loving it. Since Sawan took the helm in 2023, Shell’s stock has soared by 15%, leaving U.S. and European rivals eating its dust. Meanwhile, BP, which took the high road away from oil, is barely keeping pace amid its CEO-hunting saga.
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30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan
The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.
Extremely slow broadband for 10 months, not fixed. I have had slow broadband well below the guaranteed speed for 10 months and Shell Energy have not been able to fix it. They have tried sending about 4 or 5 engineers but have not fixed the problem. Gurps, who I have been dealing with most recently, has been friendly and polite, alth… Read more
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