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Shell’s New Strategy: ‘Net Zero Schmet Zero,’ Because Who Needs the Planet When You’ve Got Profits?

As green activists and the Church of England Pensions Board wag their fingers in disapproval, Shell seems ready to sprint in the opposite direction of net zero, all the while shouting, “Catch us if you can!” Because in the end, who needs a habitable planet when you’ve got fat dividends, right?

Posted by John Donovan: 20 March 2024

In an almost admirable display of environmental indifference, Shell Plc is flirting with the idea of putting the brakes on its already glacial pace of carbon emissions cuts. This bombshell, which is about as surprising as finding out politicians lie, comes straight from the horse’s mouth—or rather, people whispering secrets because this info is hotter than the planet we’re roasting.

Set your calendars for Thursday, folks, because Shell is about to drop its latest masterpiece in corporate doublespeak, disguised as an update to its long-term clean energy and emissions plan. The grand architect behind this slow-motion environmental train wreck? None other than CEO Wael Sawan, who seems to believe the best way to warm shareholders’ hearts (and the Earth, coincidentally) is by pumping more money into oil and gas. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Latest Magic Trick: Turning Gas Stations into EV Charging Hubs, Because Who Needs Oil Anyway?

Posted by John Donovan: 20 March 2024

In a move that screams “We’re totally green now, guys,” Shell, the fossil fuel titan known for its subtle contributions to global warming, has announced plans to transform its image by shedding some of its oil-slicked skin. Yes, Shell is planning to dump around 500 of its gasoline stations a year in 2024 and 2025 to make room for what’s being touted as the future of motoring: electric vehicle (EV) charging sites. Because nothing says commitment to the energy transition like swapping one pump for another. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Activists to Ad Agencies: Beware of Shell’s Siren Song, Lest Ye Become Gaslighting Accomplices

Havas, the brave soul who took on the Shell media account, found itself in hot water, experiencing a backlash that could only be described as what happens when you realize you’ve accidentally helped decorate the banquet hall for the Titanic’s farewell dinner.

Posted by John Donovan: 20 March 2024

In an era where even our snacks are going green, Comms Declare, the activist group with a penchant for ruining Big Oil’s marketing dreams, has issued a stark warning to all ad agencies: pitching for Shell Energy’s creative account is like signing a deal with the devil but with less fire and more gaslighting.

Shell, known affectionately as the Olympic champion of gaslighting, has put on its best sheep’s clothing, beckoning ad agencies to help peddle its renewables and energy solutions business in Australia. But Comms Declare is calling BS, suggesting that anyone who takes the bait is essentially propping up the glossy facade of a company that’s doubling down on its oil and gas love affair. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Extinction Rebellion Throws a Block Party at Shell’s Doorstep

Posted by John Donovan 20 March 2024

In a stunning display of “not today, Satan,” climate crusaders from Extinction Rebellion decided it was high time to throw a little shindig at the access roads to Shell Pernis.

The reason for this festive blockade? Shell, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that what the world really needs right now is more oil and gas. Because, of course, the best way to handle a climate crisis is to double down on the cause. It’s a bit like trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it—literally. Meanwhile, Shell’s old rigs and pipelines in the North Sea are enjoying a lovely retirement, slowly rusting away like forgotten relics of a bygone era. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Former Big Cheese Bags £95m

In an astounding turn of events that shocked no one, Shell’s ex-bigwig, Ben van Beurden (left), managed to stuff his pockets with an extra £8.9 million last year, elevating his total take from the oil giant to a modest £95 million. Who said being an eco-villain doesn’t pay well?

In a spectacle of financial gymnastics that would make even Scrooge McDuck blush, a hefty long-term bonus and a golden parachute (sorry, “severance award”) ensured that van Beurden out-earned his successor, Wael Sawan, who had to scrape by on a mere £7.9 million. One can only imagine the penny-pinching at the Sawan household.

Before passing the torch (or should we say oil lamp?) to Sawan, van Beurden amassed a fortune of £86 million, proving that oil really does grease the wheels of personal fortune. Not content with just riding off into the sunset, van Beurden stuck around as an “adviser” for six months, during which he pocketed a £5.1 million long-term bonus and a £1.4 million consolation prize for “loss of office.” Because, clearly, losing an office that pays you in millions is a loss worth compensating. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Turning American Dreamscapes into Industrial Wastelands

Posted by John Donovan: 20 March 2024

Once upon a time, in the quaint town of Vanport, PA, Rebecca Quigley lived a simple life, her days brightened by the charming view from her wraparound deck, overlooking the serene Ohio River. Little did she know, the oil titan Shell had grand plans to transform her picturesque panorama into something straight out of a dystopian novel. Enter the “ethane cracker,” a behemoth plant designed not for cracking jokes, but for churning out tiny plastic pellets, lighting up the night sky like a low-budget version of Gotham City.

As if summoned from the depths of an oil exec’s wet dream, the plant soon began its symphony of pollution—flaring waste gases, puffing out black smoke, and diffusing an aroma that could only be described as eau de antifreeze meets syrup. Quigley, suddenly finding herself living in an industrial perfume ad, started worrying about the “minor” side effects of air pollution and potential health hazards.

But fear not, dear citizens, for the state’s Department of Environmental Protection swooped in, slapping the plant with fines over $10 million for being naughty not once, not twice, but 19 times, releasing fun stuff like volatile organic compounds and benzene into the air. Who needs clean air when you can have carcinogens, right? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Is it wise for Reuters to accept content sponsorship from Shell?

Posted by John Donovan: 9 March 24

I have always been impressed with the diligence and integrity of Reuters the news agency. That applies to everyone at Reuters with whom I have had contact in the last two decades.

I have supplied Reuters with information from Shell sources used in relation to many Reuters news articles about Shell.

Here is one such article:

Shell critic says oil major targeting his website

I have published numerous articles about organisations controversially sponsored by Shell. Reuters is now added to that list. The above Reuters feature – Sustainable Switch Climate Focus – is sponsored by Shell, the global polluter. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Grand Farewell Tour: Leaving More Than Just Memories in the Niger Delta

Posted by John Donovan: 6 Mar 24

In a move that’s as surprising as finding out water is wet, Shell is packing its bags and bidding adieu to Nigeria’s onshore oil and gas scene. But not without a parting gift: a hefty cleanup bill and a landscape that looks more like a villain’s backyard in a post-apocalyptic movie. The grand exit strategy involves handing over the keys to a consortium of five mostly local companies for a modest $2.4 billion, because, you know, why deal with the mess when you can just sell it off? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and Saudi Aramco in a Tug-of-War for Pavilion Energy

Posted by John Donovan: 5 March 24

Oh, what do we have here? The corporate gladiators, Shell and Saudi Aramco are sharpening their swords, ready to dive into the lavish feast of Pavilion Energy’s assets, served by Singapore’s very own Temasek. It’s a spectacle worthy of the Colosseum, as these energy behemoths get shortlisted to gobble up most of what Pavilion Energy has on offer, minus the gas pipeline business because, let’s be real, that’s just the side dish no one’s really eyeing at this banquet. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Big Oil Plays Fairy Godmother to Environmental NGOs: A Twisted Tale of Greenwashing

Posted by John Donovan: 4 March 24

In the most bewildering plot twist since Darth Vader declared paternity, it turns out the big, bad oil giants are the puppeteers of some of our favourite environmental guardians. That’s right, folks! Royal Dutch Shell, the fairy godmother of the environmental realm, waved its magic wand (or, more accurately, its hefty chequebook) and helped birth the World Wildlife Fund International. And just when you thought this fairy tale couldn’t get any weirder, Shell’s former president, John Loudon, moonlighted as the WWF’s president for a spell, bringing a whole new meaning to “keeping it in the family.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Environmental Armageddon In Nigeria

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more “WTF,” SOMO drops the bombshell that Shell plans to stick around like a bad smell, financially entangled with the new owners.

Posted by John Donovan: 4 March 2024

In the latest episode of “How to Escape Your Mess Like a Pro,” Shell has decided it’s time to pull the ultimate Houdini act in Nigeria. You won’t believe this, folks, but Shell is trying to vanish from Nigeria faster than you can say “environmental catastrophe,” leaving behind nothing but a cloud of smoke, polluted lands, and bewildered faces. The Centre for Research on Multinational Corporations (SOMO) isn’t amused and insists that Shell shouldn’t be allowed to pull off this disappearing act until they’ve cleaned up the monumental mess they’ve made. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Grand Exodus to Octopus Energy: A Tale of Corporate Musical Chairs

Posted by John Donovan: 2 March 24

In a move that’s shaking up the energy world with the subtlety of a rhinoceros in a china shop, Shell Energy customers are being herded like bewildered sheep into the welcoming tentacles of Octopus Energy. Shell, notorious for its love letters to pollution and its unquenchable thirst for oil, is passing the baton to Octopus Energy. This grand switcheroo involves a staggering 1.3 million customers, with 750,000 already having been teleported to their new home before they could say “fossil fuels.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Plays Hot Potato with Solar Assets: A Tale of Strategic ‘Enlightenment’

Posted by John Donovan: 29 Feb 24

In an astonishing turn of events that will surely leave us all basking in the warm glow of irony, Shell, the poster child for fossil fuel philanthropy, has decided to play a round of hot potato with approximately a quarter of its US solar business, Savion. That’s right, folks, the same company that’s been drilling its way into our hearts (and the planet) is now making a strategic pivot so bold, it might just qualify for an Olympic gymnastics routine. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Grand Escape: Ditching the Niger Delta With a Toxic Parting Gift

Will Shell be forced to face the music, or will their toxic legacy be a burden borne by the Niger Delta for generations to come? Only time will tell, but for now, Shell’s exit strategy reads more like a crime thriller than a corporate transition plan.

Posted by John Donovan: 28 Feb 24

Oh, what’s this? Shell, the darling of the fossil fuel world, is attempting the corporate equivalent of dine and dash, but instead of skipping out on a restaurant bill, they’re leaving behind a slightly more problematic souvenir in the Niger Delta: a colossal, toxic mess. In a move that’s about as shocking as finding oil in the delta, Shell is trying to ghost the region with a cheeky $2.4 billion sale of its onshore assets to the Renaissance Africa Energy Company. But here’s the kicker: they’re packing up their oil-stained bags without cleaning up the environmental disaster they’ve lovingly crafted over the decades. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Aberdeen HQ: From Skyline Staple to Rubble and ‘Regeneration’ Rhetoric

Posted by John Donovan: 20 Feb 24

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gather ’round for the demolition derby of the decade, featuring none other than Shell, your friendly neighborhood oil giant, as it takes a wrecking ball to its own piece of Aberdeen history. That’s right, the iconic Altens HQ, a structure that has graced the city skyline for longer than most of us have been alive, is about to be reduced to a memory. But fear not, for Shell comes bearing gifts of “positive impact” promises and visions of grandeur for the now vacant land. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Big Oil’s Profit Party: Dancing on the Graves of Global Crisis

…let’s face it, entrusting the fate of our planet and our pockets to these profit-obsessed behemoths is like asking a fox to guard the henhouse

Posted by John Donovan: 19 Feb 24

Ladies and gents, fasten your seatbelts for a ride on the Greed Express, hosted by none other than the world’s oil oligarchs, those darlings of disaster, who’ve been making it rain with profits while the world burns (literally and metaphorically). In the blue corner, weighing in with more dollars than decency, are the heavyweights of hydrocarbons: BP, Shell, Chevron, ExxonMobil, and TotalEnergies. Together, these titans of turmoil have bagged a cool $281 billion in profits since Russia decided to play war games in Ukraine. That’s billion, with a “B,” folks. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
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