Oil Prices

Shell Boss Warns Oil Pain Could Drag On for a Year — As Shell Sits Pretty in the Crisis Chair

Disclaimer: This article is commentary and satire based on publicly reported information. It includes opinion, criticism, and parody. Site wide disclaimer also applies.

Shell, previously known as Forthdeal Limited, subsequently as Royal Dutch Shell plc, and now hiding in plain sight as Shell plc after ditching the disgraced Royal Dutch moniker, has reportedly marched back into the headlines with another sermon from the high altar of hydrocarbons: oil markets, we are told, may take “a year, if not longer” to return to equilibrium.

Translation for ordinary mortals: buckle up, keep paying, and please admire the corporate gravitas while the till keeps ringing.

According to Reuters, Shell chief executive Wael Sawan warned that restoring balance to the crude oil market after the Iran/Persian Gulf disruption will not be a quick job. The Wall Street Journal also reported Sawan’s broader message: oil and gas prices may keep rising even after the immediate conflict eases, because the world’s hunger for energy is still growing, easy resources are harder to find, and governments are now treating energy security as national security. read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Shell’s War-Volatility Jackpot: Nothing Says “Energy Transition” Like $6.9 Billion and Another Fossil-Fuel Shopping Trip

AI image concept: A giant Shell logo-shaped cash register sitting on an oil-slicked shoreline, ringing up “$6.9bn” while distant tankers pass through a smoky, war-lit Strait of Hormuz. In the foreground, a tiny green sapling labelled “transition” is being watered with a golden petrol pump nozzle

DISCLAIMER: This article is opinion/commentary. It is not financial advice, investment advice, or a recommendation to buy, sell, or hold any security. It relies on publicly available reporting, company statements, and cited sources. Site wide disclaimer also applies.

The war dividend nobody wants to call a war dividend

There are quarters when an oil major merely makes money, and then there are quarters when the geopolitical horror show performs like an unpaid member of the trading desk.

Shell’s first quarter of 2026 appears to sit firmly in the second category. The company reported adjusted earnings of about $6.9 billion, more than double the previous quarter and above analyst expectations, helped by market volatility linked to the Iran war and disruption across global energy routes. The Times reported that Shell’s adjusted profits rose 23% year-on-year and were more than double the previous quarter, with trading, refining, marketing and gas-market volatility doing much of the heavy lifting. read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Ineos and Shell Drill Into America While Britain Taxes Its Own Basin Into the Sick Bay

Disclaimer: This article is a satirical/tabloid-style deep dive based on reported facts and public sources. Spoof sections are clearly labelled. Site wide disclaimer also applies.

Part 1 — Fact-Based Deep Dive

Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s Ineos Energy and Shell are pushing ahead with oil and gas exploration in the US Gulf, in a move that says plenty about where big energy capital now feels welcome — and where it does not.

According to The Times, Ineos Energy is teaming up with Shell to explore opportunities near Shell’s Appomattox platform in the Gulf of Mexico, after Ineos acquired a 21 per cent stake in the platform from China’s CNOOC. The partnership is focused on developing Shell’s Fort Sumter discovery, understood to hold more than 125 million barrels of recoverable oil equivalent, identifying further exploration wells, and assessing broader development opportunities in the area. read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Shell’s Eternal Green Makeover Meets Its Fossil-Fuel Reality Check

ChatGPT: A split-scene illustration: Left side: 1995 Brent Spar protest—angry crowds, burning Shell logos, ocean backdrop. Right side: 2026 corporate ad—lush green fields, wind turbines, smiling executives. In the centre: A giant Shell logo acting as a mask—being held up in front of an oil rig still pumping furiously behind it. Tagline across the image: “Same Company. New Costume.”

🌍 From Brent Spar to Green PR: Has Shell Really Changed—Or Just Changed the Script?

If Shell had a pound for every time it declared a moral awakening, it could probably fund the energy transition it keeps talking about.

Instead, here we are in 2026, watching the oil giant once again attempt its favourite corporate trick: the Great Green Reinvention™.

New faces. New slogans. Same uncomfortable questions.

💥 FLASHBACK: THE DAY SHELL GOT CAUGHT

Let’s rewind to 1995—the moment Shell discovered that public opinion can, occasionally, ruin a perfectly good disposal plan. read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

WTF, Shell? From Saving the Planet to Saving Their Wallets

Posted by John Donovan: 6 Dec 2024

In the latest episode of Corporate Malfeasance: Climate Edition, Shell—everyone’s favorite destroyer of worlds—is backing away from offshore wind investments because, well, it’s just not profitable enough for their bottomless greed. CEO Wael Sawan, apparently inspired by Scrooge McDuck, has decided that low-carbon energy isn’t where the money is. Oil, gas, and biofuels? Jackpot! Saving the planet? Meh, let someone else take the loss.

Splitting Shell Energy: Two Units, Zero Morals read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Shell and BP Shares Plummet—Oh No, How Will the Planet-Burning Billionaires Cope?

Well, well, well, looks like Shell and BP have finally hit a speed bump on their highway to environmental destruction. In a shocking turn of events (cue the world’s tiniest violin), the stock prices of these oil-stained giants have taken a nosedive. Why? Because Saudi Arabia, that bastion of altruism, is reportedly ditching its plan to keep oil prices sky-high.

According to the Financial Times, Saudi Arabia, ever the benevolent overlord of the oil market, may abandon its $100-a-barrel target. Instead, they’re planning to flood the market with more crude. Gasp! Brent crude futures dropped to $71.62 a barrel, down 2.5% in a single session and 20% lower over the past six months. read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Shell CEO’s Climate Love Letter: “It’s All Good” Says the Planet’s Top Polluter

Posted by John Donovan: 4 June 2024

In a twist straight out of a dystopian satire, Shell’s CEO Wael Sawan decided to back President Biden’s climate agenda with a level of enthusiasm typically reserved for used car salesmen and snake oil peddlers.

At an event hosted by the Center for Strategic and International Studies, Sawan showered praise on Biden’s bipartisan infrastructure law and Inflation Reduction Act, claiming they’re “attracting a significant amount of capital in different states, whether it’s a red or blue state.” Oh, how inclusive.

“You’re creating jobs. You’re actually starting to anchor new industries. And over time, what you will do is you will create supply chains locally that are able to satisfy the demands of many of these industries,” he gushed. “That’s all good.” Yes, because nothing screams “environmental stewardship” like a fossil fuel titan suddenly championing green jobs.

This revelation comes as a shock only to those living under a rock, considering Shell’s recent break from the broader oil industry to advocate for the IRA – a law passed solely by Democrats and opposed by every single Republican. Shell, ever the opportunist, now champions clean energy portions of the law to fend off potential GOP attacks. read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Oil Giants in Panic Mode: Payout Promises Up in Smoke as Prices Plummet

Posted by John Donovan: 24 March 2024

Well, well, well, it looks like the bigwigs in the oil industry are having a bit of a “Oh shit, what now?” moment as oil prices take a nosedive. In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one could have predicted (except maybe every economist ever), Brent crude decided to plummet a whopping 24% in a single day, leaving oil executives scratching their heads and frantically revising their plans to return billions to investors.

It seems the recent oil price rollercoaster was triggered by Russia saying “nyet” to an OPEC agreement to cut output. And just like that, the oil market went from “steady sailing” to “full-blown panic mode” faster than you can say “fossil fuels are so last century.”

Now, in a desperate attempt to keep investors from jumping ship, oil companies are scrambling to reassess their spending plans. But let’s be real here, folks—when your primary source of income is as volatile as a teenager’s mood swings, you’re bound to hit a few bumps in the road. read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Shell’s Latest Magic Trick: A ‘Climate Tech’ Mirage With an Oil-Stained Rabbit

Posted by John Donovan: 26 Feb 24

Well, buckle up, eco-warriors and climate change aficionados, for the latest episode of “How to Paint Your Carbon Footprint Green,” starring none other than Shell, the behemoth of black gold, in its newest role as a green wizard! In a dazzling display of environmental sleight of hand, Shell has pulled a rabbit out of its oily hat with the launch of Onward, a ‘climate tech’ startup. Brace yourselves for a journey into the future of clean energy, as envisioned by the very architects of our current fossil-fueled predicament. read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Shell Dodging Responsibility One Oil Spill at a Time

In the Niger Delta, where Shell’s oil operations have been as welcome as a mosquito at a BBQ…

Posted by John Donovan: 19 Jan 24

In the latest episode of ‘Shell’s Adventures in Nigeria,’ the British multinational energy giant, known for its gentle caress of the environment (cue eye roll), has announced plans to sell off its onshore Nigerian subsidiary, Shell Petroleum Development Company (SPDC). The price tag? A cool $2.4 billion (€2.2 billion). The buyers? Renaissance, a band of Nigerian explorers and an international energy group. But wait, there’s a catch – it’s still waiting for the Nigerian government’s thumbs up. read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Shell Plays It Safe, Pauses Red Sea Shipments

Posted by John Donovan 16 Jan 24

In a move that’s less ‘brave explorer’ and more ‘cautious cat’, Shell, the British oil giant, has reportedly paused its Red Sea fiesta, halting all shipments through this aquatic party zone. Why? Because the Houthi rebels from Yemen have decided to be uninvited party crashers, targeting commercial vessels on this crucial global trade route.

The Wall Street Journal spilt the tea first, citing those ever-mysterious ‘unnamed sources’. When FOX Business tried to get the lowdown from Shell’s office for the Americas, they were met with radio silence. And, in true secretive fashion, the Journal says Shell declined to comment. Talk about playing hard to get! read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Shell’s Pricey Petrol

SHELL IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE PETROL AND DIESEL BRAND IN THE UK

When approached for a comment, Shell, probably busy counting their extra pennies, pointed out that prices vary for mundane reasons …

Posted by John Donovan: 13 Jan 2024

In a dazzling display of corporate generosity, Shell has once again claimed the throne as the monarch of pricey petrol in the UK. Their branded UK forecourts, seemingly allergic to affordability, charged an average of 142.6p per litre for petrol on Thursday. This finding, courtesy of the RAC Foundation, a motoring research charity, underscores Shell’s commitment to ensuring your wallet gets a rigorous exercise every time you refuel.

In this exclusive club of costly fuel, Shell stations are like the VIP section, with their petrol prices outshining all other major retailers. It’s as if they’re hosting a lavish party where the entry fee is just a few extra pennies per litre. But hey, who’s counting?

Now, let’s not forget about supermarket-branded fuel, the humble cousin in this fuel price family reunion. They remain the economical choice, yet the savings gap has been slimming down in recent years, like a diet plan that’s slowly losing its effectiveness.

Morrisons, however, emerges as the people’s champion in this race to the bottom (of prices, that is). Their forecourts have been crowned the most budget-friendly, charging an average of 136.9p per litre for petrol and 145.5p per litre for diesel. To put this into perspective, filling a 55-litre family petrol car at Morrisons instead of Shell saves you £3.14 – that’s almost enough for a fancy coffee!

When approached for a comment, Shell, probably busy counting their extra pennies, pointed out that prices vary for mundane reasons like buying and transporting fuel, and operating each site. They also noted that they only legally control prices at half of the Shell-branded stations in the UK. The other half are run by independent dealers who set their own prices, presumably while twirling their mustaches and laughing maniacally.

Just for kicks, here’s a ranking of fuel retailers according to the average price for a litre of petrol, as per the RAC Foundation’s findings:

  1. Shell: 142.6p (because why not?)
  2. BP: 140.8p (close, but no cigar)
  3. Esso: 139.5p (trying hard)
  4. Texaco: 138.7p (middle of the pack)
  5. Applegreen: 138.0p (green but not cheap)
  6. Jet: 137.9p (flying high)
  7. Tesco: 137.4p (every little helps)
  8. Sainsbury’s: 137.3p (living well for less?)
  9. Asda: 137.2p (saving you money every day?)
  10. Morrisons: 136.9p (every penny counts)

So, next time you’re at a Shell station, remember you’re not just filling your tank; you’re participating in a grand tradition of paying just a little bit more for the privilege. Happy motoring!

DISCLAIMER: Content published on this non-commercial platform may incorporate information generated by Artificial Intelligence (AI) and various other technological means, including translation and information published on Wikipedia. The articles presented may be satirical adaptations derived from one or more previously published sources, crafted to maintain factual accuracy while incorporating elements of satire. Individuals or entities mentioned in our articles are encouraged to notify us of any inaccuracies that may require rectification. Readers are advised to verify all information for accuracy and completeness independently.
*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Oil Magnates Celebrate Profits With A Rain of Cash, While the World Burns

Posted by John Donovan: 2 Jan 2024

Oh, what a time to be alive in the golden age of oil! As the world gasps in horror at climate change and energy crises, our heroic oil companies – BP, Shell, Chevron, ExxonMobil, and TotalEnergies – are set to dole out a staggering $100 billion in payouts to their beloved shareholders. It’s like a fairy tale, where the rich get richer while the planet heats up!

In 2022, these noble guardians of fossil fuels blessed their shareholders with $104 billion in dividends and buybacks, according to the Institute for Energy Economics and Financial Analysis (IEEFA). All this, after a year of record-breaking profits thanks to the turmoil in energy markets. Who knew that a global crisis could be so lucrative? read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Shell’s CEO Discovers a Magical New Path to Net Zero Emissions, Shares Soar!

As always, Shell is cordially invited to point out any factual inaccuracies, although we suspect they’re too busy counting their rising profits to bother.

Posted by John Donovan: 17 October 2023

Oh, what a delightful twist in the ever-entertaining saga of Shell’s environmental pursuits! Shell Plc’s CEO, Wael Sawan, has emerged as a visionary leader, unveiling a groundbreaking new approach to achieving net zero emissions. Never mind that the company’s shares are soaring to levels unseen in five years – we have a new pathway to salvation!

Sawan, the brilliant mastermind, clarified the situation with utmost confidence, saying, “For avoidance of doubt, what hasn’t changed is the destination that we have set for ourselves. What has changed is the pathway we’re going to get there.” It’s almost poetic, isn’t it? The destination remains unchanged, but the journey, oh, the journey is now filled with unprecedented twists and turns. read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Shell’s Brilliant Strategy: Ignoring the Environment and Riding the Oil Wave

By June, Sawan had a change of heart, and that pledge to cut oil production by 2030? Gone, like yesterday’s news.

Posted by John Donovan 30 Sept 2023

In the thrilling world of oil and gas, where environmental concerns are nothing but a pesky fly to be swatted away, Shell’s CEO, Wael Sawan, is emerging as a true visionary. While the world was distracted by lockdowns and declining industrial activity in March 2020, Shell made a bold move that left us all in awe—well, not really.

You see, in 2021, Shell made a groundbreaking announcement: they would cut their oil production by a whopping 1-2% per year until 2030 and generously toss a few investments into renewables. Naturally, some of us sceptics thought this idea was about as half-baked as a frozen pizza. read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Shell’s Greenwashing Smokescreen

Posted by John Donovan August 7, 2023

In a groundbreaking display of environmental commitment, Barclays is championing sustainability while funding the beloved oil giant, Shell. The masterful manipulation of “sustainable finance” initiatives has allowed Barclays to classify a $10 billion revolving credit facility for Shell as “social and environmental financing” – truly an awe-inspiring feat in the world of greenwashing.

But wait, it gets better! Barclays ingeniously counts its share of the loan towards achieving its $150 billion social and environmental financing target. Who knew that aiding a polluting behemoth could be such a philanthropic endeavour? read more

*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. *All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.