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October, 2023:

Whispers of a BP-Shell super merger

Posted by John Donovan: 31 October 2023

Once upon a time in a land far, far away from the reality of climate change, the noble knights of Big Oil gallantly rebranded their annual jamboree to “Energy Intelligence,” because, as we all know, changing your name changes your impact on the planet. Meanwhile, our heroes of the hour, Fossil Free London, were throwing a bit of a festive blockade party at the Intercontinental. You might’ve heard of Greta Thunberg? Yeah, she was there, got a badge of honor in the form of a public disorder charge. So large was the fiesta that Shell’s head honcho Wael Sawan had to resort to Zoom to address his oil-loving subjects. How… quaint. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Eco-Friendly Secrets: UK Regulator Playing ‘Hide and Seek’ with North Sea Documents

Posted by John Donovan (right): 30 October 2023

Ladies and gentlemen, gather ’round! In the latest episode of How Not To Be Transparent, the UK’s oil and gas regulator is shining bright as the star. Watch in awe as they unleash their team of lawyers in a valiant attempt to shield us all from a whopping five documents concerning the teeny-tiny environmental impact of Shell’s North Sea operations. Why, you ask? Oh, just a minor “matter of process basis”. Wink, wink. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Brilliant Strategy: Cut Green Jobs While Pretending to Care About the Planet

Posted by John Donovan: 25 October 2023

In an awe-inspiring move to really show the world where its priorities lie, Shell has decided to trim down its low-carbon workforce, because who really needs those, right? With the earnest goal of giving profits a loving embrace, Shell announced that it will be cutting at least 15% of jobs at its low-carbon solutions division and giving its hydrogen business the cold shoulder. The mastermind behind this genius plan? CEO Wael Sawan, who’s clearly got a sixth sense for high-profit ventures. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Kudos to Havas! Because Nothing Screams ‘Ethical’ Like Partnering with Big Oil

Posted by John Donovan: 22 October 2023

Oh, what a time to be alive! The ever-glorious and virtuous B Corp-certified agency, Havas, known for its undying commitment to ethical operations, has taken a brave leap into new realms of “ethics.” By choosing to partner with Shell – the beloved eco-friendly giant known (in some very narrow circles) for its deep love for the environment – Havas has demonstrated its sheer commitment to… well, we’re not sure yet, but surely it’s something great! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Energy Customer Support Experts are like Monkeys following a script

These aren’t broadband experts who know what they’re talking about, they’re monkeys following a script.

Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.uk

Examples posted by John Donovan

22 Oct 2023

Reviewer Diane: Location Norwich: Date 2023-09-28

Comments

Although it took some weeks to set up the broadband, I was pleased with the low price. It did drop out and there were times when I lost connection for quite a while. The price went up after a year so I cancelled and went to another provider. I asked to keep my landline number and they said a firm “NO” and told me, amongst other things that they had given it to someone else and that I had to send the router back within a month or they would fine me for the cost of it and sent me a postbag! Meeow! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Loving Embrace of Efficiency: Contractors, Who Needs ‘Em?

Posted by John Donovan: 20 October 2023

In the latest display of corporate generosity, Shell’s brand-new CEO Wael Sawan is ensuring that hundreds of IT contractors get the chance to experience the world outside of Shell’s illustrious doors. Why? Because nothing screams ‘performance, discipline, and simplification’ like letting a large portion of your workforce go! This strategic move is especially interesting considering permanent staff already find themselves in the minority within some IT teams. Efficiency or a fun game of musical chairs? You decide. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Clariant Rejects Shell’s Billion-Dollar Ethylene Damages Claim But Is Facing A Ruthless Adversary

By John Donovan: 19 October 2023

In yet another thrilling episode of corporate battles, Clariant has boldly rejected Shell’s claim for damages.

Clariant, the Swiss chemicals company, has made it perfectly clear that they reject Shell’s claim. Shell had the nerve to bring a claim against Clariant and three other companies in the district court of Amsterdam, alleging damages of up to a billion euros.

Clariant, however, swiftly fired back with an impeccable argument: “Shell was not a supplier of ethylene to Clariant, and Clariant has substantiated economic evidence that the conduct of the parties did not produce any effect on the market.” Bravo, Clariant, for showing such outstanding resolve in the face of these allegations! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Never-Ending Maintenance Adventure Down Under: Prelude LNG Facility to Restart in Mid-November!

Posted 18 October 2023 by John Donovan.

Oh, the suspense! Shell’s Prelude liquefied natural gas (LNG) facility off the picturesque Australian coast is set for yet another grand reopening – it’s like a never-ending carnival of maintenance and mishaps!

Our dear friends at Shell decided to kick off maintenance work at this 3.6-million metric ton a year floating LNG plant back in August. A top Shell executive, probably with a straight face, mentioned in September that it was merely a “major turnaround” work that would last roughly two months. Oh, how naïve they were! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Delayed Court Battle in South Africa – Because Who Needs Pristine Coasts Anyway?

Posted by John Donovan: 18 October 2023

Oh, the audacity of those pesky environmentalists and their legal battles! It seems that Shell’s grand plan to explore for oil and gas off South Africa’s Wild Coast has hit a little snag, but who cares about the environment when there’s money to be made, right?

The court case, which was supposed to determine whether Shell can turn a beautiful, untouched piece of the world into its personal playground, has been conveniently delayed until next year. How considerate! Ricky Stone, the lawyer for environmentalists from Greenpeace Africa and Natural Justice, revealed, “It doesn’t seem like it (hearing) will be this year and will likely be heard in the first term of 2024 only.” Because, you know, protecting the environment can wait. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s CEO Discovers a Magical New Path to Net Zero Emissions, Shares Soar!

As always, Shell is cordially invited to point out any factual inaccuracies, although we suspect they’re too busy counting their rising profits to bother.

Posted by John Donovan: 17 October 2023

Oh, what a delightful twist in the ever-entertaining saga of Shell’s environmental pursuits! Shell Plc’s CEO, Wael Sawan, has emerged as a visionary leader, unveiling a groundbreaking new approach to achieving net zero emissions. Never mind that the company’s shares are soaring to levels unseen in five years – we have a new pathway to salvation!

Sawan, the brilliant mastermind, clarified the situation with utmost confidence, saying, “For avoidance of doubt, what hasn’t changed is the destination that we have set for ourselves. What has changed is the pathway we’re going to get there.” It’s almost poetic, isn’t it? The destination remains unchanged, but the journey, oh, the journey is now filled with unprecedented twists and turns. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Finds a Warm Welcome at Havas as Extinction Rebellion Throws Surprise Party

Posted by John Donovan 17 October 2023

Oh, what a delightful turn of events! Extinction Rebellion, everyone’s favorite road-blocking, climate-conscious disruptors, have graced Havas in London with their presence. They’re quite the party planners, aren’t they?

The Extinction Rebellion activists, in all their theatrical glory, decided to pay a visit to Havas in King’s Cross, expressing their heartfelt concerns about Havas’ audacious decision to collaborate with the villainous Shell. It’s almost as if the protesters care more about the environment than Havas’ bottom line – how shocking! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Arrogant nasty vile Shell Energy customer service

Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.uk

Examples posted by John Donovan

16 Oct 2023

Reviewer susan williams: Location Clowne, Chesterfield: Date 2023-09-18

Comments

they should be called pure hell not shell arrogant nasty vile customer service after waiting 2hrs to actually spk to a human internet after numerous complaints still does not work 5mg is the best i get but goes down every 2mins to no broadband do not go with this rip off company i was with post office till these clowns took over worst day of my life pure hell thought talk talk was bad enough these are the pits

Reviewer James Wilson: Location Glasgow: Date 2023-09-17

 Comments

DO NOT USE THIS COMPANY

An absolute joke when it comes to customer service,

My Broadband was meant to go live on 4th Sept,

4 days later nothing!

Spent over 2hrs on phone being passed from one department to another to then be told my order was cancelled then told it was still live

Agent asked me to unscrew faceplate at wall and try and connect inside,

Never heard anything like this ever, read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Prelude FLNG: a potential disaster waiting to happen? 

Is Prelude FLNG a Ship or an Upstream Production Facility? Or Both? And how such a definition may affect people and the environment.

Insider information from an anonymous expert who sees Shell International Trading and Shipping Co Ltd as an organisation run by managers who like to portray themselves as ‘simple sailors’, but who actually operate like a cult with scant respect for the health and safety of employees and their own policies.

In May 2015 Mr I.C. Blayney, MLA (a Western Australia lawmaker) laid his Report No. 5 on the Table of the Parliament of Western Australia Legislative Assembly relating to ‘FLNG Safety Matters’ 1. For those who do not know FLNG stands for ‘Floating Liquified Natural Gas’ which is normally defined as an ‘upstream production facility’ and/or a ‘ship’. Mr Blayney issued his report as part of the enquiry by the Economics and Industry Standing Committee ‘into the economic impact of projects such as Prelude’ during which ‘considerable concern was raised in relation to the safety of FLNG facilities1. These concerns have been taken very seriously by the Australian Government as the oil and gas industry is inherently dangerous, and accidents do happen at the non-reimbursable expense to life and/or damage to the environment. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Latest PR Stunt: Trying To Convince Us They Care!

Posted by John Donovan:

9 October 2023

Oh, look who’s back in the news! It’s our favorite planet-loving company, Shell! The same Shell, best known for its endless love for the environment, has graced us with yet another PR move. Because, you know, a giant oil conglomerate searching for a new PR agency partner is definitely the solution to climate change. They want to find someone who can offer all the bells and whistles—corporate comms, public affairs, influencer management—you name it. Maybe they should also add “genuine care for the environment” to that list, but hey, who are we to suggest? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Painfully slow Shell Broadband

Painfully slow at times. Not very reliable either.

Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.uk

Examples posted by John Donovan 7 Oct 2023

Reviewer Kevin: Location Matlock: Date 2023-09-12

Comments

I would not recommend shell energy broadband and phone to anyone, Had no problem at all with the Post Office. but when Shell took over they cut me off and sent a engineer out to check my router and said that I wanted a new one when in actual fact it still worked as I tried it before sending it back They told me that I could upgrade to superfast fibre and the contract would last 18 months at a cost of around £29 but every time I receive a a paper bill it has gone up and the last one that I got was £44 , I spent 1 hour 45 minutes on the phone just to hear music playing so I hung up after getting an head ache the day after I hung up after 30 minutes. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Newest Genius Plan: Fuelling Digital Dreams in Fortnite, Because Why Not?

“Nice try, Shell. We’re on to you.”

Posted by John Donovan: 6 October 2023

In what appears to be a “stellar” masterstroke of marketing, the always-environmentally-aware oil giant Shell, which casually announced a quarterly profit of over $5bn, has collaborated with Fortnite creators. Their brilliant move? Paying gamers to pedal their new gasoline, V-Power Nitro+, under the guise of “ultimate road trips”. Ah, nothing says ‘thinking about the youth’s future’ quite like promoting fossil fuels in a virtual realm. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
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