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Shell Hands Its €26 Billion Pension Fund to BlackRock

Sep 24th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Shell Hands Its €26 Billion Pension Fund to BlackRock – Because Who Better to Handle Your Retirement Than the World’s Greediest Oil Giant and a Wall Street Vampire?

In yet another episode of Shell Plays Hot Potato with Billions, the ultimate sin stock has decided to hand over its €26 billion Dutch pension fund to none other than BlackRock, that benevolent bastion of corporate greed. Shell, the company with a glorious history of collaborating with Nazis, testing carcinogens on its own employees (because, why not?), and using its in-house spy firm, Hakluyt, to target environmentalists like Greenpeace, is now letting BlackRock manage the retirement dreams of its workers. You know, just in case their existing sins weren’t enough to leave a lasting legacy of moral bankruptcy. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

How Does Shell Justify Its Role in Contributing to Climate Change?

Aug 10th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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How Does Shell Justify Its Role in Contributing to Climate Change, Given the Overwhelming Scientific Consensus on the Impacts of Fossil Fuels? With a mix of denial, deflection, and just enough greenwashing to keep the PR machine humming.

Ah, Shell, our dear old friend. The company that gave the world not just oil, but a masterclass in corporate acrobatics. You’ve got to hand it to them: it takes some serious chutzpah to pump out billions of barrels of oil while also pretending to care about the planet they’re actively setting on fire. So, how exactly does Shell justify its role in contributing to climate change? Grab your popcorn, because this is where the real entertainment begins.

Step 1: Acknowledge the Obvious (But Not Really) read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Geode Capital Management and Shell Plc: A Satirical Exploration of Their Relationship

Aug 6th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 8 Aug 2024

Geode Capital Management, an asset management firm renowned for its expertise in index funds, holds a significant stake in Shell Plc. With 0.74% of Shell’s shares in its portfolio, Geode’s involvement with the oil giant is an intriguing mix of financial strategy and environmental irony. This article delves into the depths of the relationship between Geode and Shell, exploring the influence Geode wields, the inherent tensions, and the delightful paradoxes that characterize this partnership.

The Influence of Geode Capital Management read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Clearstream Banking S.A. and Shell Plc: A Satirical Exploration of a Strategic Relationship

Aug 6th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 8 Aug 2024

Clearstream Banking S.A., a prominent player in the international securities services industry, holds a pivotal role in the financial ecosystem, including the trading and holding of Shell Plc’s shares. Although Clearstream itself does not own proprietary stakes in companies, it serves as a financial intermediary, facilitating investments and ensuring the liquidity of Shell’s shares. This article delves into the intricacies of this relationship, examining Clearstream’s influence on Shell and the inevitable tensions that arise, all while maintaining a satirical, critical tone. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

State Street Global Advisors and Shell Plc: A Satirical Dive into Their Relationship

Aug 6th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 8 Aug 2024

State Street Global Advisors (SSgA), one of the world’s largest asset managers, holds a significant 1.30% stake in Shell Plc. This investment is a testament to the fascinating relationship between the financial titan and the infamous polluter. With its influence over Shell’s corporate governance and strategic direction, SSgA plays a crucial role in navigating the turbulent waters of profit and sustainability. Let’s take a closer look at how SSgA sways Shell’s decisions, the inevitable tensions that arise, and the delicious irony that permeates this partnership. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Vanguard Group, Inc. and Shell Plc: A Satirical Dive into a Not-So-Green Relationship

Aug 6th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 8 Aug 2024

When it comes to large institutional investors making waves in the energy sector, Vanguard Group, Inc. stands out with its substantial 3.82% stake in Shell Plc. This relationship is a fascinating dance between the ideals of sustainability and the gritty reality of fossil fuel dependence. Let’s take a closer look at how Vanguard influences Shell, the tensions that arise, and the delightful irony of a supposed green champion holding hands with one of the world’s largest oil companies. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

BlackRock Investment Management (UK) Ltd and Shell: A Match Made in Carbon Heaven

Aug 6th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted 8 Aug 2024 by John Donovan

In the grand theatre of global finance, where investment portfolios are the modern monarchs, BlackRock Investment Management (UK) Ltd. holds a special place. Among its many ventures, the 4.17% stake in Shell Plc stands out—not just for the size of the investment, but for the swirling controversies and high-stakes drama it brings.

BlackRock’s Influence on Shell

Strategic Investment with a Carbon Footprint:

BlackRock Investment Management (UK) Ltd. isn’t your average investor. With a massive 4.17% shareholding in Shell, BlackRock wields substantial influence over the oil giant’s strategic decisions. In a world increasingly conscious of climate change, this partnership is akin to a modern-day “Bonnie and Clyde,” navigating the tumultuous terrain of fossil fuels and sustainability. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Sir Andrew Mackenzie and Shell’s Delusional Climate “Solutions”

Jun 24th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 24 June 2024

Ah, Sir Andrew Mackenzie, the knight in shining oil-stained armour, has graced us with his profound wisdom on tackling climate change. Who would have thought that solving one of the world’s biggest crises could be more challenging than running a mining company? Not Sir Andrew, apparently.

In a revelation that’s about as surprising as finding sand in the desert, Sir Andrew admits that handling climate change at Shell is “quite a lot harder than I expected.” You see, at BHP, he could comfortably discuss all sorts of theoretical climate solutions without actually having to implement them. Now, faced with the greasy reality at Shell, things aren’t so easy. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Shell Game: Selling Smoke and Mirrors with ‘Phantom’ Carbon Credits!

May 5th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 5 May 2024

In a move that could only be described as a masterclass in corporate chutzpah, Shell, the reigning champion of environmental lip service, has been caught with its hand in the carbon cookie jar, selling millions of carbon credits as substantial as a politician’s promises.

Enter Alberta, the land of opportunity for oil giants looking to greenwash their way to profitability. Here, Shell found a cozy little subsidy scheme that allowed them to register and sell carbon credits tied to CO₂ removal that was about as real as a unicorn sighting. According to the province’s registry, Shell managed to pull off the miraculous feat of selling credits equivalent to twice the volume of emissions avoided by its Quest carbon capture facility, which, surprise, surprise, didn’t quite live up to its carbon-sucking hype. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Extinction Rebellion Throws a Block Party at Shell’s Doorstep

Mar 20th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan 20 March 2024

In a stunning display of “not today, Satan,” climate crusaders from Extinction Rebellion decided it was high time to throw a little shindig at the access roads to Shell Pernis.

The reason for this festive blockade? Shell, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that what the world really needs right now is more oil and gas. Because, of course, the best way to handle a climate crisis is to double down on the cause. It’s a bit like trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it—literally. Meanwhile, Shell’s old rigs and pipelines in the North Sea are enjoying a lovely retirement, slowly rusting away like forgotten relics of a bygone era. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Climate Ambitions Take a Dive as It Clings to Fossil Fuels

Mar 20th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan 20 March 2024

In a stunning display of environmental apathy that could only be outdone by a Bond villain, Shell has boldly announced, “Screw it, we’re sticking with fossil fuels,” effectively giving the middle finger to the planet.

Yes, dear readers, the energy behemoth decided that its green ambitions were just too… ambitious, scaling back its carbon reduction goal for 2030 and completely ghosting any further targets for 2035. It’s like they’re trying to win an award for “Least Effort Made by a Multinational Corporation.”

Under the visionary leadership of Wael Sawan—who apparently took the helm last year with a mission to redefine the term ‘net zero’ to mean ‘net… zero changes to our fossil fuel dependency’—Shell has rationalized its decision with the classic “but renewable energy investments aren’t happening fast enough” excuse. Meanwhile, environmental campaigners are left scratching their heads, wondering if Shell is actually just a group of oil-addicted time travelers from the 1950s. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Latest Magic Trick: A ‘Climate Tech’ Mirage With an Oil-Stained Rabbit

Feb 26th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 26 Feb 24

Well, buckle up, eco-warriors and climate change aficionados, for the latest episode of “How to Paint Your Carbon Footprint Green,” starring none other than Shell, the behemoth of black gold, in its newest role as a green wizard! In a dazzling display of environmental sleight of hand, Shell has pulled a rabbit out of its oily hat with the launch of Onward, a ‘climate tech’ startup. Brace yourselves for a journey into the future of clean energy, as envisioned by the very architects of our current fossil-fueled predicament. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell vs. The World: A Tale of Carbon Emissions, Courtrooms, and Questionable Commitments

Jan 18th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 18 Jan 24

 Shell Plc is prepping for its big courtroom comeback. They’re appealing against a Dutch court ruling that was basically a ‘please stop ruining the planet’ request. The court had the audacity to order Shell to slash its global emissions by 45% by 2030 from its 2019 levels. Shell’s reaction? “Hold my oil barrel!”

Picture this: it’s 2021, and Friends of the Earth, along with six other NGOs and a casual 17,000 other plaintiffs, successfully argue that Shell is playing fast and loose with Dutch and European human rights law. The District Court in The Hague, in a move that probably had Shell execs spitting out their morning coffee, mandates this emission cut. Shell’s response: “Let’s take this to the appeals court!” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Oil Magnates Celebrate Profits With A Rain of Cash, While the World Burns

Jan 2nd, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 2 Jan 2024

Oh, what a time to be alive in the golden age of oil! As the world gasps in horror at climate change and energy crises, our heroic oil companies – BP, Shell, Chevron, ExxonMobil, and TotalEnergies – are set to dole out a staggering $100 billion in payouts to their beloved shareholders. It’s like a fairy tale, where the rich get richer while the planet heats up!

In 2022, these noble guardians of fossil fuels blessed their shareholders with $104 billion in dividends and buybacks, according to the Institute for Energy Economics and Financial Analysis (IEEFA). All this, after a year of record-breaking profits thanks to the turmoil in energy markets. Who knew that a global crisis could be so lucrative? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Oil Titans on Trial: Big Energy Companies Grapple with Climate Deception Lawsuit in California Showdown

Nov 27th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Grab your popcorn, folks. This legal drama is about to reveal whether these energy companies are just misunderstood giants or masterminds of eco-deception. Stay tuned!

Posted by John Donovan:

27 November 2023   

Well, well, well, if it isn’t our favorite energy giants back in the spotlight, but this time they’re not drilling oil – they’re drilling themselves into a bit of a legal quagmire. BP PLC, Chevron Corp., ConocoPhillips, Exxon Mobil Corp., and Royal Dutch Shell PLC are about to play a high-stakes game of courtroom chess in sunny California. And guess what? It’s not about who struck oil, but who played a little too fast and loose with the truth about climate change. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Whispers of a BP-Shell super merger

Oct 31st, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 31 October 2023

Once upon a time in a land far, far away from the reality of climate change, the noble knights of Big Oil gallantly rebranded their annual jamboree to “Energy Intelligence,” because, as we all know, changing your name changes your impact on the planet. Meanwhile, our heroes of the hour, Fossil Free London, were throwing a bit of a festive blockade party at the Intercontinental. You might’ve heard of Greta Thunberg? Yeah, she was there, got a badge of honor in the form of a public disorder charge. So large was the fiesta that Shell’s head honcho Wael Sawan had to resort to Zoom to address his oil-loving subjects. How… quaint. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
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