Royal Dutch Shell Plc  .com Rotating Header Image

Shell’s Climate Ambitions Take a Dive as It Clings to Fossil Fuels

Posted by John Donovan 20 March 2024

In a stunning display of environmental apathy that could only be outdone by a Bond villain, Shell has boldly announced, “Screw it, we’re sticking with fossil fuels,” effectively giving the middle finger to the planet.

Yes, dear readers, the energy behemoth decided that its green ambitions were just too… ambitious, scaling back its carbon reduction goal for 2030 and completely ghosting any further targets for 2035. It’s like they’re trying to win an award for “Least Effort Made by a Multinational Corporation.”

Under the visionary leadership of Wael Sawan—who apparently took the helm last year with a mission to redefine the term ‘net zero’ to mean ‘net… zero changes to our fossil fuel dependency’—Shell has rationalized its decision with the classic “but renewable energy investments aren’t happening fast enough” excuse. Meanwhile, environmental campaigners are left scratching their heads, wondering if Shell is actually just a group of oil-addicted time travelers from the 1950s.

Shell, with a straight face, claims that this backpedaling strategy somehow makes it more likely they’ll hit their climate targets. It’s a bit like saying eating more cake will help you lose weight because, hey, it’s all about the confidence, right?

Adding insult to injury, Sawan cheerfully announced last year that Shell would not only stop reducing its oil production but would also crank up its natural gas manufacturing. Because, in the face of a climate crisis, what the world obviously needs is more greenhouse gases. BP, not wanting to be left out of the fossil fuel love fest, decided to follow in Shell’s sooty footsteps and dial back its emission reduction targets too.

All of this comes amidst investor pressure on Shell and BP to boost returns, because who cares about a livable planet when there’s money to be made, right?

Shell’s latest update on its energy transition strategy introduced a fascinating new concept: ‘carbon intensity.’ This magical metric allows the company to offset the carbon footprint of its fossil fuel output with the greener parts of its business, like renewable energy. It’s a bit like claiming you’re a vegetarian because you ate a salad with your steak.

The company now aims to reduce its carbon intensity by a whopping 15% to 20% by 2030, down from the previously ambitious goal of 20%. And that pesky 45% reduction target for 2035? Axed, because, in Sawan’s words, it was ‘perilous’ due to ‘too much uncertainty at the moment in the energy transition.’ You know, the kind of uncertainty that comes from major energy companies refusing to commit to reducing their reliance on fossil fuels.

Shell’s grand plan involves ramping up gas production because it’s supposedly better than coal. It’s like saying getting punched in the face is preferable to getting kicked in the groin—either way, it’s going to hurt.

The company also lamented that not enough moolah is being thrown at renewable energy, with investments falling short of the trillions needed to achieve net zero by 2050. Their solution? Keep pumping out oil and gas, because obviously, the best way to solve a problem is to continue doing the thing that caused the problem in the first place.

As Shell faces legal challenges over its laughable climate strategy, including an appeal against a Dutch court ruling demanding faster emission cuts, critics and activists are left aghast. Mark van Baal, founder of activist shareholder group Follow This, pointed out Shell’s blatant disregard for the Paris climate agreement’s goals.

But don’t worry, folks, according to Neil Wilson, chief market analyst at Markets, Shell’s move is ‘sensible,’ because apparently, the real problem is emissions from China and India. His take? “Time to ditch all of this net zero crap.” Because, sure, let’s all just bury our heads in the sand and hope the problem fixes itself.

In the end, Shell’s strategy seems to be a masterclass in how to pretend to care about the environment while doing the absolute minimum. Bravo, Shell. You’ve truly outdone yourselves.

Disclaimer: Content published on this non-commercial advert-free platform may incorporate information generated by Artificial Intelligence (AI) and various other technological means, including translation and information published on Wikipedia. The articles presented may be satirical adaptations derived from one or more previously published sources, crafted to maintain factual accuracy while incorporating elements of satire. Individuals or entities mentioned in our articles are encouraged to notify us of any inaccuracies that may require rectification. Readers are advised to verify all information for accuracy and completeness independently. Any actions taken based on this content are at your own risk.
This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Comments are closed.

Comment Rules

  • Please show respect to the opinions of others no matter how seemingly far-fetched.
  • Abusive, foul language, and/or divisive comments may be deleted without notice.
  • Each blog member is allowed limited comments, as displayed above the comment box.
  • Comments must be limited to the number of words displayed above the comment box.
  • Please limit one comment after any comment posted per post.