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Big Oil’s Profit Party: Dancing on the Graves of Global Crisis

…let’s face it, entrusting the fate of our planet and our pockets to these profit-obsessed behemoths is like asking a fox to guard the henhouse

Posted by John Donovan: 19 Feb 24

Ladies and gents, fasten your seatbelts for a ride on the Greed Express, hosted by none other than the world’s oil oligarchs, those darlings of disaster, who’ve been making it rain with profits while the world burns (literally and metaphorically). In the blue corner, weighing in with more dollars than decency, are the heavyweights of hydrocarbons: BP, Shell, Chevron, ExxonMobil, and TotalEnergies. Together, these titans of turmoil have bagged a cool $281 billion in profits since Russia decided to play war games in Ukraine. That’s billion, with a “B,” folks. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Caught in a Green Masquerade, Claims “We’re Totally Eco-Friendly, Trust Us!”

Posted by John Donovan: 16 Feb 24

In a shocking turn of events, Shell, the global beacon of environmental responsibility (pause for eye-roll), finds itself at the centre of what can only be described as a greenwashing scandal so brazen it could make an oil slick blush.

On the first of February, 2023, the heroes at Global Witness, an NGO with apparently nothing better to do than save the planet, lobbed a “groundbreaking greenwashing complaint” into the lap of the SEC’s Climate and ESG Task Force. Their mission? To beg the question: Is Shell’s so-called investment in renewables as genuine as a three-dollar bill?

Global Witness dares to suggest that Shell might be pulling a fast one on its investors by inflating its green credentials. You see, Shell has this fancy-sounding “Renewables and Energy Solutions” (RES) segment that includes, among other things, their forays into hydrogen, nature, and whatever “integrated power activities” are supposed to be. Sounds impressive, right? Well, hold your carbon offsets, because Global Witness is calling BS.

According to these party poopers, Shell’s RES segment is about as “renewable” as a coal mine. They claim a “significant portion” of Shell’s spending on RES is actually funnelled into marketing and trading “natural gas” and gas-generated power. And here’s the kicker: they argue that gas, contrary to Shell’s insinuations, is neither renewable nor a solution to our energy woes. I mean, who knew? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and Exxon Take Dutch Government to Court Over Gas Field Party Pooper

Posted by John Donovan; 14 Feb 24

In an epic tale of corporate vs. nature, Shell and ExxonMobil, the dynamic duo of fossil fuel festivities, have decided it’s time to drag the Dutch government to arbitration court. Why, you ask? Well, they’re a tad miffed that the Netherlands dared to halt their gas-guzzling shindig at the Groningen field, a once merry-go-round of gas supply that fueled Europe’s energy binges for decades.

Let’s set the scene: Groningen, a field so bountiful that Mother Nature herself might blush, has been the life of the party since the swinging ’60s. But as with all good things, the Dutch government, in a move as buzz-killing as it was seismic, decided in 2018 that the earth-shaking consequences of gas extraction were a party foul too severe. By last year, they called last rounds, decreeing that wells be shut down faster than you can say “earthquake.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Ditches Decade-Long Iraqi Dream

… the oil giant has opted for a dramatic exit, leaving Iraq’s dreams of petrochemical prosperity in the dust.

Posted by John Donovan: 14 Feb 24

Oh boy, Shell has done it again! After nearly a decade of dangling the carrot of investment in front of Iraq’s eager face, Shell has decided to pack its bags and leave the table, abandoning plans to build a mega petrochemicals plant in Basra. Just when you thought the plot couldn’t thicken any more, the oil giant has opted for a dramatic exit, leaving Iraq’s dreams of petrochemical prosperity in the dust.

“After an in-depth evaluation on the feasibility of the Nebras integrated petrochemicals complex with our government partners, Shell has decided not to proceed with the project,” Shell announced, sounding almost as if they had just decided to skip dessert. They cited reasons like “performance, discipline and simplification,” and the “high-grading of our chemicals portfolio.” Ah, the sweet sound of corporate speak meaning, “We’ve had a better offer,” or perhaps, “It’s not you, it’s me.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Crystal Ball Predicts a Gas-tastic Future

Posted by John Donovan: 14 Feb 24

Oh, buckle up, earthlings, for a rollercoaster ride into the gas-laden utopia of 2040, brought to you by none other than Shell, the fossil fuel aficionado with a heart of… well, gas. In an earth-shattering revelation that’s sure to make your carbon footprints quiver in excitement, Shell has gazed into their crystal ball (probably powered by LNG, because why not) and declared that the world’s thirst for liquefied natural gas (LNG) is about to skyrocket by more than a whopping 50% by 2040. Why? Because apparently, switching from coal to gas is the new black, especially in China and those trendy South Asian and Southeast Asian countries hungry for economic growth. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Bids Adieu to California’s Hydrogen Dreams

Posted by John Donovan: 12 Feb 24

Oh, what’s this? Shell, the ever-so-loving caretaker of our fragile planet, has decided to throw a wrench into California’s green dreams by pulling out of the hydrogen fuel game for passenger cars. Surprise, surprise! In a move that screams “We’re here for a good time, not a long time,” Shell has officially declared, “Hydrogen cars? Not our jam anymore,” in sunny California, the only place in the U.S. where driving a hydrogen car doesn’t feel like a treasure hunt. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Throws a Billion-Dollar Bash as the Planet Heats Up, While Greenpeace Crashes the Party

Greenpeace photo…

Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

In an epic saga that could only be described as “The Great Gatsby” meets “Mad Max,” Shell, the notorious climate party pooper, has once again danced its way into the headlines.

This time, the British behemoth announced a whopping £22.4 billion in annual profits, all while Greenpeace activists, dressed in their finest mock-Shell board member attire, threw a rager outside Shell HQ, complete with a burning sign aptly named ‘Your Future.’

Yes, dear reader, as the world simmered under record global temperatures, Shell was busy counting its coins, proving once again that while Rome burns, the emperors are having a blast. The eco-warriors, not ones to miss a beat, decided if you can’t beat them, throw a better party. So, they necked champagne, fanned wads of cash, and danced the conga around the blazing truth that Shell seems all too eager to ignore. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Greta Thunberg Dodges the Slammer as Judge Gives Thumbs Down to Police Shenanigans at Oil Gala Protest

Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

In a plot twist worthy of a Hollywood blockbuster, Greta Thunberg and her band of eco-warriors were given a get-out-of-jail-free card by Westminster Magistrates’ Court today. Their crime? Daring to crash the fossil fuel fiesta known as the Energy Intelligence Forum, where oil magnates clinked their champagne glasses in glee. But alas, the Met Police played their part a tad too enthusiastically, slapping on ‘unlawful’ conditions faster than you can say “climate emergency.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s CEO Sawan Laments Over US LNG Drama While Cashing in Billions

Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

In a twist that no one saw coming, Shell’s CEO Wael Sawan has spilled the tea on the latest soap opera in the LNG world, where Uncle Sam’s liquefied natural gas (LNG) sector is apparently losing its sparkle. This revelation came hot off the press during Shell’s glitzy earnings call, where Sawan played the part of a concerned corporate citizen worried about the “reliability” of American LNG, amidst a backdrop of legal tiffs and paused plant approvals. “I won’t get into the details of the legal proceedings,” he teased, leaving us all on the edge of our seats for the next episode. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Strikes It Rich in LNG Lottery While Tossing Crumbs of Greenery to the Masses

Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

Once upon a time, Shell, the oil behemoth with a soft spot for environmental exploitation, threw down a whopping $70 billion to snatch up the British gas company BG Group. This wasn’t just your average mega-corporation hoarding; no, this was Shell’s grand pivot to become a titan in the liquefied natural gas (LNG) arena. Until then, their portfolio was just your run-of-the-mill pipeline gas and, of course, our planet’s lifeblood – oil.

The big bet? LNG could be the golden ticket. Europe was giving Russian gas the cold shoulder, and for everyone else, LNG was like a trendy detox diet for their energy consumption – not quite the green smoothie of wind and solar, but hey, it was something. Shell theorized that because natural gas throws fewer tantrums than oil, we could still pat ourselves on the back for fighting climate change. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Latest Greenwashing Masterstroke: Converting Refinery to Make Fancy Oils While Keeping the Oil Party Going Elsewhere

Posted by John Donovan: 26 Jan 24

In a dazzling display of environmental sleight of hand, Shell Deutschland GmbH has triumphantly announced its Final Investment Decision (FID) to give a green makeover to its Wesseling site at the Energy and Chemicals Park Rheinland. The plan? To transform the hydrocracker into a glitzy production unit for Group III base oils, the crème de la crème of lubricants for those fancy engine and transmission oils. Because, as we all know, the real key to saving the planet is in smoother-running engines. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell vs. The World: A Tale of Carbon Emissions, Courtrooms, and Questionable Commitments

Posted by John Donovan: 18 Jan 24

 Shell Plc is prepping for its big courtroom comeback. They’re appealing against a Dutch court ruling that was basically a ‘please stop ruining the planet’ request. The court had the audacity to order Shell to slash its global emissions by 45% by 2030 from its 2019 levels. Shell’s reaction? “Hold my oil barrel!”

Picture this: it’s 2021, and Friends of the Earth, along with six other NGOs and a casual 17,000 other plaintiffs, successfully argue that Shell is playing fast and loose with Dutch and European human rights law. The District Court in The Hague, in a move that probably had Shell execs spitting out their morning coffee, mandates this emission cut. Shell’s response: “Let’s take this to the appeals court!” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Job Cutting Spree

Shell’s Job Cutting Spree

Posted by John Donovan: 18 Jan 24

In a move that’s less about saving the planet and more about saving pennies, Shell Plc has kicked off a spree of job cuts. And guess what? The low-carbon solutions unit is first in line! Because who needs a greener future when you can have a leaner payroll, right?

Sources spilling the beans to Bloomberg revealed that Shell is on a mission to ‘create more value through simplification and discipline.’ Translation: ‘Let’s chop jobs to boost our bottom line.’ The low-carbon business folks are getting their marching orders first, with the corporate affairs division and project and technology departments soon to join the unemployment queue. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

New Motto at Shell California Gas Stations: ‘Gift Cards Welcome, Extra Charges Guaranteed!’

Posted by John Donovan: 18 Jan 2024

In a move that’s less ‘filling up your tank’ and more ’emptying your wallet,’ Shell is now starring in a class action lawsuit. The allegation? Their gas stations have a peculiar habit of charging those who use a Shell gift card the credit card price for gasoline, instead of the cash price. Because who doesn’t love a surprise surcharge with their gift card?

Here’s the fun part: California civil code, clearly a document Shell uses as a coaster, states that any gift card sold after Jan. 1, 1997, should be redeemable for its cash value. So, in theory, these gift cards ought to be valid for the cash price at Shell stations. But theory and practice are two different things in Shell’s world. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Dutch Government Reluctantly Flicks On Groningen’s ‘Pilot Light’ Amid Chilly Weather

This backtrack comes after they boldly declared they would end Groningen’s production last October, winding it down over the years because of the pesky earthquakes. But now, they’re exercising their ‘just in case’ option, like someone keeping an ex’s number ‘just for emergencies.’

Posted by John Donovan 10 Jan 24

In a move that screams ‘last resort,’ the Dutch government, like a reluctant parent turning on the night light for a scared child, has decided to fire up the ‘pilot light’ at the Groningen gas field. This decision comes amidst the impending cold snap, reminding everyone that sometimes, even governments have to go back on their word.

NAM (Nederlandse Aardolie Maatschappij), the prodigal child of Shell and Exxon and operator of the Groningen gas field, has a bit of a shaky history, quite literally. This gas field is infamous for its earthquakes, which have been more than just a minor inconvenience for the locals. Picture this: a 3.6 magnitude earthquake back in 2012 near Huizinge, which residents felt more intensely than their morning coffee. No wonder the Dutch cabinet, in a moment of environmental awakening, announced the field’s closure in 2018. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Financial Rollercoaster: Big Bucks in Gas, Oopsies in Chemicals

Posted by John Donovan 8 Jan 24

In a stunning display of financial gymnastics, Shell has managed to pull off a spectacular feat: raking in the dough from gas trading while simultaneously flagging a modest $2.5 billion to $4.5 billion in impairment costs.

The FTSE 100 energy behemoth, in a Monday announcement that must have had its accountants in a tizzy, warned that it’s expecting to declare these little oopsies in charges. Apparently, these are mostly thanks to its Singapore-based refining and chemical hub having a bit of an off day. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
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