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Shell’s Third Quarter Blues: Oh No, Only Billions in Profits! How Will They Survive?

Oct 8th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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8 Oct 2024

Cue the tiniest violin as Shell, the poster child of corporate greed and environmental destruction, announces—wait for it—a drop in its refining profit margins! Yes, folks, the same oil titan responsible for trashing the planet now faces the horrific fate of only making slightly less obscene amounts of money. Somewhere in the world, a polar bear sheds a tear… or maybe that’s just an oil slick.

Let’s break down the tragedy: Shell’s refining margins took a nosedive by a whopping 30% in the third quarter, down to a measly $5.5 per barrel from the previous $7.7. Oh, the humanity! It seems global demand for oil has taken a dip, as the world awkwardly tries to figure out how to avoid climate catastrophe while Shell desperately clings to its 19th-century business model. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Fresno Finally Wins $230M from Shell in a 17-Year-Old Legal Marathon

Aug 2nd, 2024
by John Donovan.
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The legal drama kicked off on March 21, 2007, when Fresno decided it was time to hold Shell Oil Company, Dow Chemical Company, and other defendants accountable for the mess they left in the city’s drinking water.

Posted by John Donovan 2 August 2024

In a saga that took nearly two decades to unfold, the City of Fresno has just scored $230 million from the corporate behemoth Shell Oil Company. This David-versus-Goliath victory comes from a lawsuit filed way back in 2007, proving that sometimes, the little guy can win—if they’re willing to wait 17 years.

According to Fresno’s City Attorney Office, this settlement is the largest of its kind in the nation for this particular type of environmental claim. Who knew dragging a toxic corporate giant through the mud could pay off so handsomely? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Gas Gambit: Trading Green for Gas in the Name of Profit

Jul 12th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan 12 July 2024

In another classic move from our favorite eco-villain, Shell has gone all-in on liquefied natural gas (LNG), trying to plug the gap left by its exit from Russia in 2022. With a series of deals, Shell’s CEO Wael Sawan is betting big on LNG, all while quietly stepping away from those pesky renewable energy projects.

Filling the Russian Void:

Shell’s new projects in the United Arab Emirates and Trinidad and Tobago, along with snapping up a hefty trading portfolio, are all part of Sawan’s master plan to boost LNG volumes by up to 20 million metric tons per year (mtpa) between 2023 and 2030. These moves help Shell recover from the 2.5 mtpa shortfall after ditching Russia’s Sakhalin LNG project, which led to a 5% dip in liquefaction volumes last year. Because nothing says resilience like swapping one geopolitical mess for another. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Newest Environmental Circus Act: Prelude FLNG in Western Australia

Jul 9th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 9 July 2024

In the latest chapter of “Shell’s Ever-Expanding Environmental Impact,” John Wood Group PLC has snagged a massive engineering contract for Shell’s Prelude Floating Liquified Natural Gas (FLNG) facility in Western Australia. Because clearly, the world’s largest floating offshore gas facility is exactly what we need right now.

Brownfield Engineering Extravaganza:

This shiny new contract has Wood providing brownfield engineering, procurement, and construction management (EPCm) solutions for Prelude. In other words, they’ll be making sure this gigantic floating gas factory operates smoothly while Shell continues its legacy of prioritizing profits over the planet. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Seeks to Drill Holes in South Africa’s Oceans: Because Why Not?

Jul 9th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 9 July 2024

In today’s episode of “Shell’s Next Big Environmental Screw-Up,” the oil giant is seeking government permission to drill up to five offshore wells off the west coast of South Africa. That’s right, folks—because clearly, our oceans aren’t polluted enough, and the wildlife isn’t nearly as threatened as it could be.

Environmental Circus:

According to a draft scoping report from environmental consultancy SLR, Shell Offshore Upstream South Africa B.V. and its partners are eagerly awaiting the green light from the government to start wreaking havoc in the Northern Cape Ultra Deep Block (NCUD) in the Orange Basin. This region’s depths range from 2,500 to 3,200 meters—perfect for deep-sea drilling and even deeper levels of corporate irresponsibility. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Shocked! Ex-Employees Steal Millions in Gas Oil, Open Barber Shop and Sushi Joint

Jul 2nd, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan 2 July 2024

In the latest saga of “How Shell Continues to Outdo Itself,” two former employees decided to play pirate and made off with millions in gas oil from Shell’s Pulau Bukom facility. Yes, you heard that right – these two masterminds, Muzaffar Ali Khan Muhamad Akram, 42, and Koh Choon Wei, 40, swindled Shell out of enough fuel to make Captain Jack Sparrow jealous.

Muzaffar, who managed to siphon off gas oil worth nearly $120 million, pocketed a cool $1.3 million. His partner-in-crime, Koh, snagged over $101 million worth of oil and walked away with at least $1 million. And what did they do with their ill-gotten gains? Opened a halal Japanese restaurant, invested in property, bought a Volkswagen, and even started a barbershop. Who knew crime could lead to such diverse business ventures? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s New Carbon Capture Schemes: Greenwashing or Genuine Effort?

Jun 26th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 26 June 2024

Shell is at it again. This time, the oil behemoth has decided to bless Canada with not one, but two carbon capture and storage (CCS) projects. Bravo, Shell! Because nothing screams “environmental savior” like a company that has spent decades polluting the planet.

On June 26, Shell’s Canadian unit announced its grand plan to build these CCS projects in a valiant effort to reduce emissions from its own operations. The projects, named Polaris and Atlas Carbon Storage Hub, sound like something out of a superhero comic. Unfortunately, the reality is less heroic. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Bold New Plan: Running Away to the Land of Fossil Fuel Fanatics

Jun 20th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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No shit, Sherlock. Moving your headquarters across the Atlantic isn’t exactly like booking a vacation.

Posted by John Donovan: 20 June 2024

In the latest episode of “What the Actual F**k?”, Shell, that lovable giant known for its charming pollution and undying greed, is considering jumping ship to the good ol’ U.S. of A. Yes, you heard it right! Rigzone conducted some riveting interviews with analysts to get the scoop on this potential exodus. Spoiler alert: it’s all about money and less about saving the planet.

According to Patrick Rutty, the Director of Global Intelligence at Enverus, “It is a widely shared perception these days that there’s no better place to be a listed oil and gas company than America, owing largely to its relatively fossil fuel-friendly investors.” Well, duh. If you’re a company that thrives on drilling holes in the earth and spewing carbon, the U.S. is practically Disney World.

Rutty also spilt the beans that back in 2021, Royal Dutch Shell “shucked its first and middle names” and moved its tax residence from the Netherlands to the UK after a Dutch court called their carbon emissions plans lame. Apparently, London is now a “problematic” home too because of Brexit. Who would’ve guessed? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Eco Warriors Swap Shell Billboards for a Dash of Satirical Art

May 15th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 15 May 2024

In a daring display of artistic rebellion, the eco-punk group Brandalism decided to give Shell’s advertising a little makeover—because, let’s face it, nothing screams “green future” like an oil giant sponsoring cycling, right?

Brandalism has gone and plastered their own cheeky versions of ads over 200 billboards and bus stops that were singing praises to Shell’s so-called commitment to British Cycling. The new art pieces? Cyclists guzzling oil from Shell-branded bottles. Talk about a thirst-quencher! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Puts Legal Smackdown on Eco-Warriors, Because, You Know, Profits

May 15th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 15 May 2024

Shell, that lovable behemoth of the oil world, has lawyered up big time! In an absolutely not dramatic overreach, they’ve clamped down on the pesky Just Stop Oil protesters with a shiny new injunction at their High Wycombe petrol party palace.

Now, plastered like a warning label on cigarettes, a legal notice grandly hangs at the entrance of Shell Loudwater, effectively saying “Keep Out” to anyone thinking about messing with their precious pumps. According to the High Court’s decree, you can’t block the forecourt, disrupt fuel supplies, or damage any equipment. And for those thinking about a bit of creative expression, forget about attaching yourself to the pumps, building forts, or turning the place into your personal art canvas. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Shameful Nazi Past: Funding Adolf Hitler

May 1st, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan 1 May 2024

We’re taking a trip down memory lane to the dark days of World War II. You know, back when Hitler was still rocking his signature mustache and the world was in a state of utter chaos. But guess who was lurking in the shadows. None other than our pals at Royal Dutch Shell.

Yep, turns out, while Hitler was busy turning Europe into his own personal playground, Shell was right there by his side, cheering him on like a proud parent at a Little League game. According to the annals of history, Shell’s big boss man, Sir Henri Deterding, was practically BFFs with ol’ Adolf himself. They even had cozy 4 day meeting at Berchtesgaden, where they presumably chatted about world domination over tea and biscuits. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Dirty Pipe Dreams: Pennsylvania’s Latest Environmental Offender

Apr 19th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 19 April 2024

Well, well, well, look who’s at it again! Our dear friends at Shell are making headlines once more, and surprise, surprise, it’s for all the wrong reasons.

Pennsylvania’s Attorney General’s office is coming down on Shell Falcon Pipeline LP like a ton of bricks, slapping them with a whopping 13 misdemeanor charges for playing fast and loose with environmental laws. Ah, nothing like a little industrial waste to spice up your pipeline construction, right?

According to the authorities, Shell conveniently “forgot” to report a few teeny-tiny issues they encountered while drilling away in Washington, Allegheny, and Beaver counties. Oops! Looks like someone dropped the ball on that one. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Left Sputtering as Netherlands Closes Groningen Gas Field for Good

Apr 17th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 17 April 2024

Well, well, well, looks like the Netherlands is finally saying “buh-bye” to the Groningen gas field, leaving Shell scratching its head and counting its losses.

Yep, you heard it right. The Dutch Senate has slammed the door shut on Groningen, putting an end to decades of gas extraction in the region. No more tapping into Mother Earth for those sweet, sweet fossil fuels.

Why, you ask? Oh, just a little thing called seismic risks. Apparently, all that drilling was causing a bit of a ruckus underground, leading to earthquakes that made buildings shake like a leaf in a hurricane. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Supreme Court’s Shell Game: How Big Corporations Dodge Accountability for Human Rights Abuses

Mar 31st, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Esther Kiobel and her legal team took on the big bad wolf known as Shell, accusing them of all sorts of nasty stuff like torture, killings, and basically being the baddies in Nigeria.

Posted by John Donovan 31 March 2024

A rewrite in layman’s terms of the Kiobel vs Shell case as described in this Oyez legal article accessed on 31 March 2024

Alright folks, let’s break this down in plain English because, let’s face it, the legal mumbo jumbo can make your head spin faster than a politician dodging questions.

So, here’s the deal: Esther Kiobel and her team took on the big bad wolf known as Shell, accusing them of all sorts of nasty stuff like torture, killings, and basically being the baddies in Nigeria. They thought, “Hey, let’s take these guys to court in the good ol’ US of A under the Alien Tort Statute.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Great Escape: Fleeing Protests with the Efficiency of a Greased Pig

Mar 24th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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As long as the oil keeps flowing and the profits keep rolling in, who cares about a few unpaid workers?

Posted by John Donovan: 24 March 2024

In a move that can only be described as “strategic retreat” (or, let’s be honest, “run for the hills”), Royal Dutch Shell has evacuated around 60 foreign staff from Iraq’s Basra Gas Company. But don’t worry, folks, Shell assures us that this sudden exodus is merely a security measure, prompted by a teensy-weensy protest over delayed pay. Because when in doubt, evacuate, right?

The fun began when workers at Basra Gas Company (BGC) decided they were tired of waiting for their paychecks to arrive. In a move that Shell probably didn’t anticipate during their morning coffee, these brave souls took to the streets to demand what’s rightfully theirs. And what did Shell do in response? They promptly packed their bags and flew their foreign staff out of the country faster than you can say “employee satisfaction.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Former Big Cheese Bags £95m

Mar 20th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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In an astounding turn of events that shocked no one, Shell’s ex-bigwig, Ben van Beurden (left), managed to stuff his pockets with an extra £8.9 million last year, elevating his total take from the oil giant to a modest £95 million. Who said being an eco-villain doesn’t pay well?

In a spectacle of financial gymnastics that would make even Scrooge McDuck blush, a hefty long-term bonus and a golden parachute (sorry, “severance award”) ensured that van Beurden out-earned his successor, Wael Sawan, who had to scrape by on a mere £7.9 million. One can only imagine the penny-pinching at the Sawan household.

Before passing the torch (or should we say oil lamp?) to Sawan, van Beurden amassed a fortune of £86 million, proving that oil really does grease the wheels of personal fortune. Not content with just riding off into the sunset, van Beurden stuck around as an “adviser” for six months, during which he pocketed a £5.1 million long-term bonus and a £1.4 million consolation prize for “loss of office.” Because, clearly, losing an office that pays you in millions is a loss worth compensating. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
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