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Shell Puts Legal Smackdown on Eco-Warriors, Because, You Know, Profits

Posted by John Donovan: 15 May 2024

Shell, that lovable behemoth of the oil world, has lawyered up big time! In an absolutely not dramatic overreach, they’ve clamped down on the pesky Just Stop Oil protesters with a shiny new injunction at their High Wycombe petrol party palace.

Now, plastered like a warning label on cigarettes, a legal notice grandly hangs at the entrance of Shell Loudwater, effectively saying “Keep Out” to anyone thinking about messing with their precious pumps. According to the High Court’s decree, you can’t block the forecourt, disrupt fuel supplies, or damage any equipment. And for those thinking about a bit of creative expression, forget about attaching yourself to the pumps, building forts, or turning the place into your personal art canvas.

Break these rules? Well, it’s potentially a one-way ticket to jail, hefty fines, or a quick goodbye to your assets. Because nothing says “we care” like a threat of imprisonment.

A Shell spokesperson, in a tone dripping with corporate concern, insisted that this legal fortress is all about safety. “We respect the right of everyone to express their point of view,” they claimed, “as long as it’s done safely and away from our profits—I mean, pumps.”

Meanwhile, Just Stop Oil isn’t buying what Shell is selling. They see these injunctions as the rich guy’s game of Monopoly—buying laws to silence the little guy. “Injunctions are private laws bought by corporations to circumvent the usual rule of law,” one spokesperson fired back. And they’re not mincing words, calling out the judiciary and political system as “hijacked by corporate criminals.”

Of course, Shell bats away any suggestion that they’re trying to gag free speech or stifle peaceful protest. They’re just setting up a “significant deterrent to dangerous and unlawful protest activity,” which, coincidentally, might mess with their bottom line. Since spring 2022, when these injunctions became the new norm, they’ve noticed fewer disruptions. Coincidence? They think not.

Remember April 28, 2022? Before the legal barricades went up, Just Stop Oil protesters went to town on Shell Cobham in Surrey, giving 36 petrol pumps a good hammering. Seems someone took that a bit personally.

Shell remains tight-lipped about whether these legal chains are specifically targeting Just Stop Oil, but they’re keen on stopping anyone from even thinking about protest shenanigans.

And as for Just Stop Oil? They’re the definition of chilled. No Buckinghamshire protests on the horizon, they say. Just a group of folks asking the government to quit its oil addiction cold turkey.

So, what’s the takeaway here? Shell’s wrapped in legal armour, ready to shield its kingdom of oil and profits from those daring to demand a cleaner planet. How dare they, right? Keep watching this space, folks, it’s bound to get even more “interesting.”

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