Shell

Shell’s Climate Crimes: Because Nothing Says ‘Green Future’ Like 700 New Oil Fields

May 13th, 2025

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Where BlackRock backs black gold and Shell defends the indefensible

It’s hard not to marvel at the consistency of Shell—an oil giant so committed to profit that not even the planet’s impending collapse can distract it. Hot on the (carbon) heels of its courtroom wrangles, Shell is now facing yet another lawsuit from Dutch climate group Milieudefensie. Why? Because Shell’s idea of a “transition” plan looks suspiciously like business as usual—only with more oil, more gas, and a side of PR greenwash. read more

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DELAYED GRATIFICATION: Shell’s Deepwater Drilling Dreams Take a Dip in the Gulf

May 10th, 2025

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Because who needs a planet when you’ve got Perdido?

Shell, the world’s favourite carbon maximalist and corporate kleptomaniac of climate sanity, just hit a snag in its tireless quest to extract every last drop of profit from the deepwater depths of the Gulf of Mexico.

Two of Shell’s newest wells in the Great White unit—part of its beloved Perdido complex, a sort of offshore altar to fossil-fuel worship—won’t be coughing up crude until the end of the year. That’s a few months behind schedule, which in oil-industry speak means “Q4 tantrum season” for shareholders. read more

Frozen Gas, Burning Planet: Shell’s LNG Canada Hype Hits Boil Point

May 10th, 2025

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ICE-COLD GAS, RED-HOT PROFITS-BROUGHT TO YOU BY SHELL

Exporting methane and melting credibility—Canada joins Shell’s planetary gaslighting tour

Hold your applause and grab your gas masks: Shell, the world’s favourite pollution profiteer, is about to transform Canada from the land of moose and maple syrup into a shiny new LNG export hub—just what the overheating planet didn’t ask for.

The LNG Canada project, a $40 billion love letter to fossil fuels led by Shell Plc, is getting ready to ship its first cargoes of super-cooled methane as early as June. According to “people with knowledge of the situation” (a.k.a. Shell insiders who know the drill), equipment testing is already underway at the plant, located in Kitimat, British Columbia. read more

Shell to Swallow BP? European Megamerger Could Birth Frankenstein’s Oil Giant

May 9th, 2025

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Get ready for the unholy matrimony of Big Oil’s most morally elastic titans. Rumours are swirling that Shell, the master of greenwash and geopolitical manoeuvres, is sizing up a takeover of BP, its long-time accomplice in pollution, profiteering, and PR spin. If consummated, this would be one of Europe’s largest-ever mergers—a monstrous oil-and-gas chimera that might finally give ExxonMobil something to worry about.

And let’s be honest: Shell and BP getting back together is less a love story than the reunion tour of colonial capitalism. These two go way back—to apartheid South Africa, where both quietly profited while the world boycotted, and to Hakluyt, the covert intelligence firm founded by former MI6 agents to serve, among others, the sensitive needs of Shell and BP boardrooms. read more

Fossil Free London says Shut Down Shell

May 9th, 2025

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(Information supplied by the above protest organisation, Fossil Free London)

Have you heard the news?

We’ve been BANNED from this year’s 🔥Shell🔥 annual general meeting (AGM).

Shell have conveniently jumped on Heathrow’s draconian anti-protest injunction, by deciding to hold their AGM in no other than the Sofitel hotel at Heathrow’s Terminal 5 – the only place where protest is banned!

BUT TRY AS THEY MAY WE WON’T BE SILENCED 🤫

We will challenge Shell and continue to bring the voices of the Niger Delta communities to the belly of the beast at Shell’s global headquarters. read more

Back to Petroleum: BP and Shell Reignite the Fossil Fire—with a Side of Green Spin

May 8th, 2025

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Shell—bankrolled by the usual suspects like BlackRock—is reportedly considering scooping up BP, or what’s left of its battered, green-tinted carcass.

It’s official. BP’s much-vaunted “Beyond Petroleum” rebrand has now aged about as well as crude in a plastic bottle. After decades of climate posturing, oil-soaked disasters, and a failed fling with windmills, BP has come crawling back to its true love: fossil fuels. Maybe it’s time to call the company what it really is—“Back to Petroleum”.

And what better partner in this hydrocarbon love story than Shell—the other half of the British oil aristocracy, and arguably the more ruthless cousin. Not content with polluting the planet, Shell has long enjoyed ties to geopolitical espionage (hello, Hakluyt) and a shameful history of operating in apartheid South Africa. BP wasn’t far behind, of course. When it comes to moral bankruptcy, these two have always shared a boardroom. read more

Shell Spins Wind Into Gold—With a Little Help from Google and a Lot of Help from Green PR

May 8th, 2025

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Shell, the unapologetic poster child of climate catastrophe, has teamed up with none other than Google—yes, the one that promises to do no evil (but forgot to check the fine print)—to give its ageing NoordzeeWind offshore wind farm a shiny new lease on life. Because nothing screams “sustainable energy transition” like letting an oil giant take credit for not tearing down a wind farm just yet.

That’s right. In a move drenched in green gloss and corporate spin, Shell and Google announced what they’re proudly calling a “world-first”: a corporate power purchase agreement (PPA) that will extend the life of the Netherlands’ first offshore wind park for another five glorious years of… well, not being dismantled. read more

Shell Game: When “Simplification” Means More Oil, More Pollution, and More PR

May 8th, 2025

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Another day, another promotion at the House of Hydrocarbons

In the grand tradition of rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic—but with a sheen of corporate ambition—Shell has announced that Colette Hirstius, currently Executive Vice President of “Gulf of America” (because nothing says territorial confidence like renaming part of the ocean), will ascend to the role of President, Shell USA, on August 1, 2025.

She replaces Gretchen Watkins, who, after seven glorious years of “driving performance, discipline and simplification”—corporate code for maximising profits, minimising scrutiny, and slashing anything resembling a conscience—will step down on July 31, 2025. read more

Shell “working with advisers” to assess the “merits” of acquiring BP

May 3rd, 2025

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Shell Eyes BP: A Sin Stock Wedding Made in Hell

This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by a human editor.

Hell hath no fury like Shell with a cash pile and a conscience to ignore.

The ultimate sin stock — Shell Plc, the polluting powerhouse adored by BlackRock and Vanguard — is reportedly toying with the idea of buying BP, its longtime frenemy in fossil-fuelled destruction. The deal, if it goes ahead, would be one of the largest oil industry takeovers in history — and perhaps the most poetic union of corporate cynicism in living memory. read more

Shellshocked: Oil Giant Outraged It Has to Pay Tax Like the Rest of Us

May 3rd, 2025

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This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by a human editor.

It’s hard not to shed a tear for Shell — the poor, misunderstood £160 billion oil giant that now faces the unfathomable injustice of… paying tax.

Yes, actual tax.

Thanks to Labour’s latest “raid” on North Sea oil and gas firms, Shell now expects to cough up an extra £380 millionunder the extended Energy Profits Levy, lovingly nicknamed the windfall tax. That’s on top of the $462 million it already paid last year — pocket change for a company still flinging out billions in buybacks while the North Sea drowns in declining rigs and decency. read more

Shell to BP: “No Thanks, We’d Rather Buy Ourselves (Again)”

May 2nd, 2025

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This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by a human editor.

Shell CEO Wael Sawan has officially confirmed what we all suspected: when it comes to strategic choices, nothing gets Shell hot under the collar like… Shell itself. Asked by the Financial Times whether the oil giant might finally pounce on BP — its bedraggled, weakened partner in decades of extractive mischief — Sawan didn’t mince words:

“We will always look at these things, but you are also looking to see what is the alternative. Right now, buying back Shell [shares] for us continues to be absolutely the right alternative to go for.” read more

Shell’s Profits Drop — So Naturally They Bought More of Themselves

May 2nd, 2025

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This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by a human editor.

Ah, Shell. That noble steward of the planet, tireless protector of shareholder portfolios, and — let’s not forget — connoisseur of pollution with a flair for corporate doublespeak. The oil giant just reported a 28% drop in Q1 profit, and what was their instinctive, compassionate, forward-looking response?

Buy. Back. More. Shares.

Because when your profit drops to a mere $5.58 billion (cue violins), the first thing to do is reward your most loyal environmentalists — sorry, investors — like BlackRock and Vanguard with $3.5 billion in buybacks. That’s the 14th quarter in a row. Consistency, if nothing else. read more

Exxon’s Eco-Warrior Makeover: Out-Greening Shell, the Sin Stock That Keeps on Spilling

Apr 29th, 2025

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This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by a human editor.

Well, well, well. Would you look at that. ExxonMobil — yes, that Exxon — is now strutting around like Greta Thunberg in an oil-stained tuxedo, about to overtake Shell and BP in so-called “low-carbon spending.” You know, the same Exxon that used to sneer at clean energy as a “beauty contest”? Suddenly it’s front row in the pageant.

According to investment guidance from six Western oil majors, Exxon now plans to splash out $30 billion on “low emissions opportunities” by 2030. That’s up from a humble $3 billion plan in 2021. Because apparently, all it takes is a PR makeover, some hydrogen buzzwords, and a boatload of government subsidies to turn one of the planet’s biggest polluters into an environmental pioneer. read more

Shell BP Plc

Apr 26th, 2025

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Shell BP PLC: Because the World Clearly Asked for Even More Greed, Pollution, and Corporate Arrogance

(This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by a human editor.)

WTF is happening at BP? Oh, just another glorious day in oil-world where ruthless ambition meets jaw-dropping incompetence, and the planet comes dead last.

Activist investor Elliott Investment Management – yes, that Elliott, the one famous for shaking down companies like a loan shark in a Gucci suit – has decided that BP isn’t already toxic enough. Elliott now holds a juicy 5% stake in BP, snuggled comfortably between oil-gluttons BlackRock and Vanguard (because who else?), and is demanding that BP replace its strategy chief and split itself into tidy, profit-friendly pieces. You know, to “improve accountability” – by which they obviously mean “squeeze more cash out of what’s left of the burning planet.” read more

Will Shell Finally Swallow BP?

Apr 17th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by an editor for factual accuracy and satirical tone.

The fossil fuel fanfiction nobody asked for is back: Shell might finally devour BP — in what could become the biggest unholy alliance since, well… Shell and apartheid South Africa.

That’s right: after years of flirting and fumbling, the dirtiest merger fantasy in Big Oil is once again swirling through boardrooms and Bloomberg alerts.

Why now? Because activist hedge fund Elliott Management just bought a nearly 5% stake in BP and immediately demanded a boardroom bloodletting. Cue another round of speculation that Shell, Chevron, ADNOC, or some other oil-drunk conglomerate might swoop in and “rescue” BP from its decade-long identity crisis. read more

Shell to Host AGM at Heathrow

Apr 16th, 2025

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This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by an editor for factual accuracy and satirical tone.

In a move that screams “accessibility” while quietly dodging accountability, Shell plc, the world’s leading expert in pollution, profit, and PR spin, has announced that its 2025 Annual General Meeting (AGM) will take place on May 20, 2025, at 10:00 UK time — live from the Sofitel London Heathrow Hotel.

Yes, Shell’s AGM will happen next to a major carbon-emitting transport hub — a fitting metaphor for a company that has spent decades turning fossil fuels into shareholder dividends and climate collapse. read more

30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.
Extremely slow broadband for 10 months, not fixed. I have had slow broadband well below the guaranteed speed for 10 months and Shell Energy have not been able to fix it. They have tried sending about 4 or 5 engineers but have not fixed the problem. Gurps, who I have been dealing with most recently, has been friendly and polite, alth… Read more

Extremely Slow Shell Broadband

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ICE-COLD GAS, RED-HOT PROFITS-BROUGHT TO YOU BY SHELL

Exporting methane and melting credibility—Canada joins Shell’s planetary gaslighting tour

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(Information supplied by the above protest organisation, Fossil Free London)

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Shell—bankrolled by the usual suspects like BlackRock—is reportedly considering scooping up BP, or what’s left of its battered, green-tinted carcass.

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Shell Eyes BP: A Sin Stock Wedding Made in Hell

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Shell BP PLC: Because the World Clearly Asked for Even More Greed, Pollution, and Corporate Arrogance

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30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

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