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Shell Ditches Retiree Baggage in a $4.9 Billion “See Ya Later” Deal with Prudential

Posted by John Donovan: 8 Feb 24

Oh, what do we have here? Shell, the ever-so-charitable and eco-conscious oil behemoth, has just offloaded the pesky pension obligations of 21,500 retirees of Shell USA Inc. in a dazzling $4.9 billion deal with Prudential. Because, you know, ensuring the well-being of people who’ve toiled away their best years for you is such a drag when there are oil wells to drill and environmental regulations to sidestep.

In a move that’s as groundbreaking as discovering oil in your backyard, this transaction has been hailed as the first major pension risk transfer of the year. “Prudential is honored to help continue meeting the retirement security needs of Shell’s retirees,” gushes Alexandra Hyten, head of Prudential’s institutional retirement strategies because nothing says “honor” like taking over payments to retirees from a company that’s probably too busy counting its pollution credits to bother with pension checks. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell CEO Cries Over Biden’s LNG Timeout, Fears for Big Oil’s Fragile Confidence

Posted by John Donovan: 4 Feb 24

Oh, the horror, the absolute tragedy! Shell’s CEO, Wael Sawan, has sounded the alarm bells, folks. It seems that President Joe Biden’s audacious pause on approvals for new liquefied natural gas (LNG) export terminals is causing a bit of a kerfuffle among the oil elites. Sawan, leading the charge with a violin so small you’d need a microscope to see it, warns that this move will “erode confidence” in the sacred halls of the fossil fuel industry, that bastion of stability in our ever-changing world. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Greta Thunberg Dodges the Slammer as Judge Gives Thumbs Down to Police Shenanigans at Oil Gala Protest

Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

In a plot twist worthy of a Hollywood blockbuster, Greta Thunberg and her band of eco-warriors were given a get-out-of-jail-free card by Westminster Magistrates’ Court today. Their crime? Daring to crash the fossil fuel fiesta known as the Energy Intelligence Forum, where oil magnates clinked their champagne glasses in glee. But alas, the Met Police played their part a tad too enthusiastically, slapping on ‘unlawful’ conditions faster than you can say “climate emergency.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s CEO Sawan Laments Over US LNG Drama While Cashing in Billions

Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

In a twist that no one saw coming, Shell’s CEO Wael Sawan has spilled the tea on the latest soap opera in the LNG world, where Uncle Sam’s liquefied natural gas (LNG) sector is apparently losing its sparkle. This revelation came hot off the press during Shell’s glitzy earnings call, where Sawan played the part of a concerned corporate citizen worried about the “reliability” of American LNG, amidst a backdrop of legal tiffs and paused plant approvals. “I won’t get into the details of the legal proceedings,” he teased, leaving us all on the edge of our seats for the next episode. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Magical Mystery Tour Convinces Pennsylvania to Fork Over $1.6 Billion for Plastic Paradise

Exceeding pollution limits faster than you can say “Abracadabra,” the plant has turned Beaver County into anything but the promised land of milk and honey.

Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

Once upon a time in 2012, the wizards at Shell, known for their love affair with all things oily and plastic, waved their wands (and wallets) to enchant Pennsylvania lawmakers into giving them a fairy-tale tax break. In this spellbinding saga, Shell promised to build a kingdom of polymer—a.k.a. an “ethane cracker”—capable of churning out single-use plastics galore, in exchange for a treasure chest worth $1.6 billion in tax incentives. Because what’s more enchanting than a mountain of plastic? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Strikes It Rich in LNG Lottery While Tossing Crumbs of Greenery to the Masses

Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

Once upon a time, Shell, the oil behemoth with a soft spot for environmental exploitation, threw down a whopping $70 billion to snatch up the British gas company BG Group. This wasn’t just your average mega-corporation hoarding; no, this was Shell’s grand pivot to become a titan in the liquefied natural gas (LNG) arena. Until then, their portfolio was just your run-of-the-mill pipeline gas and, of course, our planet’s lifeblood – oil.

The big bet? LNG could be the golden ticket. Europe was giving Russian gas the cold shoulder, and for everyone else, LNG was like a trendy detox diet for their energy consumption – not quite the green smoothie of wind and solar, but hey, it was something. Shell theorized that because natural gas throws fewer tantrums than oil, we could still pat ourselves on the back for fighting climate change. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Throws Cash Fiesta for Shareholders as Profits Take a ‘Modest’ Dip

“As we enter 2024, we are continuing to simplify our organization with a focus on delivering more value with less emissions,” proclaimed Wael Sawan, Shell’s chief executive, presumably with a straight face.

Posted by John Donovan: 1 Feb 24

In the latest saga of “Billionaires at Play,” Shell, the oil behemoth with a heart of coal, has graciously announced a titanic profit of only $28.2 billion for 2023, a tear-jerking decrease from its 2022 high of $39.9 billion. Cue the violins, as this marks a somber moment in Shell’s 115-year history of environmental philanthropy.

As oil and gas prices took a nap last year, Shell’s profits decided to join them, resulting in a mere $7.3 billion in the last quarter, a figure that somehow still managed to exceed the low expectations of analysts. “As we enter 2024, we are continuing to simplify our organization with a focus on delivering more value with less emissions,” proclaimed Wael Sawan, Shell’s chief executive, presumably with a straight face. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and BP’s Profit Hits a Bump: Oil Titans Face 40% Profit Drop

Posted by John Donovan: 28 Jan 24

In a heart-wrenching turn of events, our beloved oil giants Shell and BP are bracing for a catastrophic profit plunge – a staggering 40%, no less! Get your tissues ready, folks, because this is the kind of tragedy that could bring a tear to even a billionaire’s eye.

These paragons of the oil industry, who call London their home, are set to reveal their financial results soon. Last year, they managed to scrape together a meagre £31 billion, according to those fortune-tellers at Refinitiv. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! This is a far cry from the £55 billion bonanza they enjoyed in 2022 when energy prices shot up faster than a geyser following Russia’s little escapade in Ukraine.

Remember the good old days of 2022? When the average Brent crude price was a robust $100 (£78) per barrel? Well, fast forward to last year, and it plummeted to a mere $82. It’s almost like the universe decided these oil moguls needed a reality check. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Sues Greenpeace for $2.1 Million: An Episode Straight Out of ‘Succession’

Maybe HBO should consider a spin-off: “Succession: The Shell Chronicles.” Stay tuned for the next episode, where Shell might just take legal action against Mother Nature for climate change.

Posted by John Donovan: 24 Jan 24

In the latest episode of “Real Life Imitates Succession,” Shell, the ever-so-conscientious oil giant, has decided to take a leaf out of Cousin Greg’s playbook. That’s right, folks – Shell is suing Greenpeace for a whopping $2.1 million! It seems like Shell’s boardroom, with all its drama, might give the Roy family a run for their money.

So, what’s the deal? Shell is demanding a cool million in damages, plus legal fees, because six fearless Greenpeace activists decided to have a little 13-day vacation on a moving oil platform. Talk about a high-seas adventure! But wait, there’s more – the lawsuit could skyrocket to $8.6 million if contractors decide they want a piece of the action. Shell’s generosity knows no bounds, offering to reduce the lawsuit if Greenpeace promises to stop party crashing at Shell’s oil and gas shindigs in the future. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Yannick Bolloré, Climate’s Newest Champion, Boldly Teams Up with Shell for a Greener Wallet

“B Corps should not be producing marketing and PR for the world’s biggest polluters.”

Posted by John Donovan: 24 Jan 24

Oh, the sweet, sweet irony! Here we have Yannick Bolloré, our gallant hero and CEO of the Havas Group, casually chilling on the French Riviera, all the while juggling his gold pendant and an impressive collection of wristbands that scream ‘I care about the Earth’. But wait, what’s this? His company, Havas – a tiny, almost insignificant global ad agency with mere revenues of 2.3 billion euros – has decided to buddy up with Shell, the world’s fifth-largest oil company. Talk about an unexpected plot twist! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

A Gripping David vs. Goliath Tale – John Donovan vs Shell

SENT 21 JAN 24 BY JOHN DONOVAN TO LITTLE GEM, PRODUCERS OF MR BATES vs THE POST OFFICE

I hope this message finds you well amidst the buzz created by the “Mr. Bates vs The Post Office” dramatization. That gripping portrayal of an underdog’s battle has undoubtedly opened the floodgates for stories of similar David vs Goliath confrontations.

I’m reaching out to share a compelling, real-life narrative that could rival any fictional drama with its intense plot twists and dark undertones. I invite you to explore the saga of John Donovan vs Shell – a story that unfolds like a thrilling novel, complete with corporate espionage, legal battles, and a fight against environmental injustice. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Dodging Responsibility One Oil Spill at a Time

In the Niger Delta, where Shell’s oil operations have been as welcome as a mosquito at a BBQ…

Posted by John Donovan: 19 Jan 24

In the latest episode of ‘Shell’s Adventures in Nigeria,’ the British multinational energy giant, known for its gentle caress of the environment (cue eye roll), has announced plans to sell off its onshore Nigerian subsidiary, Shell Petroleum Development Company (SPDC). The price tag? A cool $2.4 billion (€2.2 billion). The buyers? Renaissance, a band of Nigerian explorers and an international energy group. But wait, there’s a catch – it’s still waiting for the Nigerian government’s thumbs up. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Old Files: The Gift That Keeps on Giving (To Climate Lawsuits)

Posted by John Donovan: 18 Jan 24

In a plot twist worthy of a daytime soap opera, newly unearthed documents from Shell’s dusty archives could turn out to be climate attorneys’ new best friends. These relics, dating back decades, have been discovered, possibly hiding under a pile of old oil barrels, and they’re singing like a canary about Shell’s knowledge of climate damages. Cue dramatic music!

Reported for the first time by DeSmog and Follow The Money, these documents, now showcased on Climate Files, are like a time capsule from a more, shall we say, ‘honest’ time at Shell. Take a 1970 industry journal article, for instance, where Shell seems to have had a moment of clarity, accepting responsibility for the harms caused by its products. “Whoops, did we do that?” they might have said.

In the 1980s and 1990s, Shell’s publications were all about the “major adverse changes” the “greenhouse effect” could cause. But, in true Shell style, as they were penning these concerns, they were also planning more oil and gas production. It’s like a villain in a movie revealing their master plan while still trying to look like the good guy. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Job Cutting Spree

Shell’s Job Cutting Spree

Posted by John Donovan: 18 Jan 24

In a move that’s less about saving the planet and more about saving pennies, Shell Plc has kicked off a spree of job cuts. And guess what? The low-carbon solutions unit is first in line! Because who needs a greener future when you can have a leaner payroll, right?

Sources spilling the beans to Bloomberg revealed that Shell is on a mission to ‘create more value through simplification and discipline.’ Translation: ‘Let’s chop jobs to boost our bottom line.’ The low-carbon business folks are getting their marching orders first, with the corporate affairs division and project and technology departments soon to join the unemployment queue. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Eco-Friendly Fairy Tale Ends in Canada: Greenpeace Waves Magic Wand

Posted by John Donovan: 18 Jan 24

Once upon a time, Shell, the oil giant known for its love affair with the environment (wink, wink), launched an ad campaign in 2020 that was like a fairy tale. They promised the Canadian public that by buying their fossil fuels, they could magically “Drive carbon neutral” thanks to carbon offsets. It’s like saying eating more cake will help you lose weight, but only if you believe hard enough!

But here comes Greenpeace Canada, the party pooper, filing a complaint with the Competition Bureau. They were like that one kid at the party who said, “But the Emperor has no clothes!” Greenpeace pointed out that Shell’s claims were as shaky as a house of cards in a tornado. The big question: Could Shell really offset all emissions from “production through to the use of the fuel”? Spoiler alert: The evidence was as solid as a ghost. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

New Motto at Shell California Gas Stations: ‘Gift Cards Welcome, Extra Charges Guaranteed!’

Posted by John Donovan: 18 Jan 2024

In a move that’s less ‘filling up your tank’ and more ’emptying your wallet,’ Shell is now starring in a class action lawsuit. The allegation? Their gas stations have a peculiar habit of charging those who use a Shell gift card the credit card price for gasoline, instead of the cash price. Because who doesn’t love a surprise surcharge with their gift card?

Here’s the fun part: California civil code, clearly a document Shell uses as a coaster, states that any gift card sold after Jan. 1, 1997, should be redeemable for its cash value. So, in theory, these gift cards ought to be valid for the cash price at Shell stations. But theory and practice are two different things in Shell’s world. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
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