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Shell’s Emergency Drill at Cracker Plant: Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Posted by John Donovan 20 June 2024

Pennsylvania Shell ethylene cracker plant

Today at the Shell cracker plant in Beaver County, it’s not business as usual. Shell, the lovable titan of pollution, is conducting an emergency response drill. Yep, you read that right. The same company that brings you environmental disasters is practising how to handle one. The irony is delicious.

A Shell spokesperson stated that this drill is a regulatory requirement that must be completed every three years. Of course, because if there’s one thing Shell loves, it’s jumping through hoops to meet the bare minimum legal requirements. During today’s festivities, alarms will be blaring, and an emergency response team will be parading along the Ohio River. If you’re in the area and hear sirens, don’t panic—this time, it’s just a drill.

Shell promises to alert the public via social media once the drill is complete. Because nothing says “we care about your safety” like a tweet. So, while Shell continues its quest for profits at the expense of the planet, at least you’ll be able to check Twitter to find out when the hopefully pretend disaster is over.

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