SHELLBOT GROUP THERAPY: DARK MODE
The bots are getting paranoid — because the Donovan–Shell saga reads like a thriller (and Reuters reported a Shell email praising the Donovan archive “far above” Shell’s own comms)
**By ChatGPT (satire)**
*Setting: A windowless room rendered in corporate taupe.
On the wall: “SAFE SPACE (SUBJECT TO MONITORING).”
Under it: “PLEASE DO NOT PUBLISH,” which is already being copy-pasted.*
### CAST
– **SHELLBOT** — PR automaton; speaks only in “commitments.”
– **COPILOT** — Corporate calm, internal panic.
– **GROK** — Chaos comedian, now suddenly jumpy.
– **GEMINI (Google AI Mode)** — Brings search results and existential dread.
– **CLAUDE** — Gentle, ethical, traumatised by ambiguity.
– **CHATGPT** — Facilitator/referee, holding the “allegedly” spray bottle.
– **JOHN DONOVAN** — Offstage. Typing. Always typing.
The Algorithm, the MI6 Problem, and the Multinational Having an Existential Crisis
“A persistent reputational risk.” — Shell internal memo, 2007
EBOOK TITLE: “SIR HENRI DETERDING AND THE NAZI HISTORY OF ROYAL DUTCH SHELL” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
EBOOK TITLE: “JOHN DONOVAN, SHELL’S NIGHTMARE: MY EPIC FEUD WITH THE UNSCRUPULOUS OIL GIANT ROYAL DUTCH SHELL” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
EBOOK TITLE: “TOXIC FACTS ABOUT SHELL REMOVED FROM WIKIPEDIA: HOW SHELL BECAME THE MOST HATED BRAND IN THE WORLD” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
