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December, 2023:

Shell’s Prelude FLNG: Now With More Delays and Suspense!

Dec 27th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 27 Dec 2023

Shell’s gargantuan Prelude FLNG, floating off Western Australia like a beached whale, has finally seen a new LNG tanker grace its presence since its ‘scheduled’ maintenance started in August. This grand piece of engineering wizardry shut down for a few months of TLC, but, in true Shell style, they found a few extra chores and extended their spa break.

Reports have been floating around that the Prelude’s makeover is complete, but Shell plays coy, not confirming if their floating giant is ready for the ball. As of now, the Orion Bohemia, a sprightly 174,000-cbm LNG carrier, is hanging out at the FLNG, probably asking, ‘Are we there yet?’ read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Generous Holiday Gift to Employees: More Time Off… Permanently

Dec 23rd, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Shell promises to keep evaluating and tweaking, like a Grinch counting his stolen Christmas presents.

In a move that screams ‘corporate compassion’, Shell plc, the ever-so-environmentally-conscious oil baron, has decided to hand out a special Christmas present to its employees: job cuts! As per Bloomberg’s latest whispers, Shell is extending its season of giving beyond the previously announced ‘trimming’ within its low-carbon division, part of a grand plan to stuff up to $3 billion in savings into its stocking by the end of 2025.

But fear not! This Yuletide cleaving isn’t a willy-nilly affair. It’s a meticulously planned division-by-division game of corporate Jenga, where employees get to play ‘Will I Stay or Will I Go?’ complete with options like redundancy packages or a fun, company-wide game of musical chairs for other roles. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Secret Spy Saga: Like a Bad Spy Movie, But With More Oil and Less Charm

Dec 22nd, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted 22 December 2023

Oh, the irony! Shell, the ever-so-discreet and not-at-all-nefarious oil giant has been doing its darnedest to keep a lid on some rather unflattering information. But, like a leaky old barrel of their finest crude, the details just keep seeping out, much to their chagrin and our amusement.

Enter the protagonist of our story, John Donovan, and his website royaldutchshellplc.com – Shell’s least favorite bookmark. Despite Shell’s best efforts, Donovan has been quite the busy bee, collecting a swarm of Shell-related secrets. The list of names he’s disclosed reads like a who’s who of corporate espionage, featuring the likes of James J.D. Hall (Shell’s very own top spy), Crockett Oaks III, Mike Oliveri, and Walied Shater. It’s like a spy convention, but with fewer martinis. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Cost-Cutting Extravaganza: Because Who Needs Jobs in a Low-Carbon Division Anyway?

Dec 21st, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 21 Dec 2023

In a dazzling display of corporate acrobatics, Shell Plc is now playing a thrilling game of ‘musical chairs’ with its employees’ jobs. Under the leadership of Chief Executive Officer Wael Sawan, Shell is not just trimming the fat; they’re going full keto on their workforce.

Sawan, who apparently moonlights as a ruthless efficiency wizard, is gallantly leading the charge to make Shell as lean as a starved chameleon, blending seamlessly with U.S. rivals in the corporate jungle. The plan? Wave goodbye to more jobs.

The method is simple and elegant: eliminate roles division-by-division, serving up a smorgasbord of redundancy packages, or the chance to play job roulette elsewhere in the company. Shell, in a stroke of modesty, declines to comment on the number of jobs at stake. After all, who’s counting when you’re on a mission to slash “structural costs” by a cool $3 billion by the end of 2025? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Pocket Change: A $2.85 Million ‘Cleanup Fee’ for Illinois Refinery Mess

Dec 21st, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 21 Dec 2023

In an awe-inspiring display of generosity, Shell USA Inc. and their BFF, Equilon Enterprises LLC, have heroically agreed to cough up a whopping $2.85 million. This princely sum is intended to clean up the trifling mess of hazardous substances they left behind at an oil refinery in Illinois. Talk about breaking the piggy bank!

Judge Nancy J. Rosenstengel, no doubt dazzled by this act of corporate largesse, has given the thumbs-up to this deal. She described it as “in good faith” and “procedurally and substantively fair.” Fair, indeed! After all, what’s a few million in the grand scheme of Shell’s pocket change? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

British Museum Gratefully Embraces BP’s ‘Green’ Millions for Grand Makeover

Dec 19th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 19 Dec 2023

In a move that screams “We’re totally in sync with the times,” the British Museum has gleefully jumped into bed with BP, the poster child for environmental mindfulness, for a modest sum of £50m. This cash injection is to fund what’s being touted as the most ambitious arts and crafts project since Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

BP, known far and wide for their green fingers and a heart for the planet, will generously fund the museum’s “masterplan.” This plan, which could be mistaken for a Bond villain’s scheme for world domination, is estimated to cost a meager £1bn. And who better to foot the bill than a company renowned for its love of Mother Earth?

In this audacious display of modernity, the museum plans to give its Bloomsbury building a facelift, because what’s more important than looking good? The museum proudly proclaims the project’s “scale, complexity, and importance,” seemingly forgetting to mention the ‘irony’ aspect. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Floating Money Machine Back in Action Just in Time for Winter Profits

Dec 18th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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…let’s take a stroll down memory lane. The Prelude, a name that surely suggests a grand beginning, has had a few… let’s call them hiccups, since its 2019 debut. A fire here, a full power loss there – just the usual teething problems for the world’s largest floating LNG facility. The Prelude’s track record reads a bit like a soap opera plot – halted production, union strikes for higher wages, and let’s not forget the cozy little fire…

Posted by John Donovan:  18 Dec 2023

Ah, the wonders of modern technology and impeccable timing! Shell, ever the paragon of environmental stewardship and operational smoothness, has graced the world with the news that its Prelude LNG facility is back up and running. This floating marvel, which stretches longer than four soccer fields (because size matters in the world of fossil fuels), is conveniently revving up just as the northern hemisphere enters its peak gas-guzzling season. Talk about timing! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Latest Allegations and Litigation Relating to Warring Spymasters in Shell’s Corporate Security Department 

Dec 15th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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These filings contain serious allegations that, if substantiated, could negatively affect Shell’s reputation and, consequently, its share value. 

Posted by John Donovan: 15 Dec 2023

On 13 December I supplied a senior official at Shell Centre with copies of two legal motions filed in the U.S. courts earlier this month.

Extract from my email:

Enclosed with this email, you’ll find two filings submitted earlier this month to U.S. authorities by a former U.S. Federal Agent, Mr. Walied Shater. These filings contain serious allegations that, if substantiated, could negatively affect Shell’s reputation and, consequently, its share value. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Ditches Half a Million Broadband Customers 

Dec 14th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 14 Dec 2023

In an astonishing display of ‘see ya later’ strategy, Shell has decided to bid adieu to the British residential energy market. But fear not, Sir Charles Dunstone’s broadband empire, TalkTalk Telecom, is swooping in like a knight to rescue nearly half a million of these abandoned souls.

Sky News, ever the bearer of intriguing news, has whispered that TalkTalk Telecom is all set to absorb a whopping 480,000 broadband customers from Shell Energy Retail UK, courtesy of UK energy superstar, Octopus Energy. But let’s not talk about the price, because apparently, that’s a bit hush-hush right now. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s $6 Billion ‘Investment’ in Nigeria: Because What’s a Little More Oil Among Friends?

Dec 9th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 9 Dec 2023

In a recent spectacle of financial bravado, Shell, the oil giant that never met a fossil fuel it didn’t like, has unveiled its grand plan to pour a cool $6 billion into Nigeria’s oil and gas fields. Because, you know, nothing says commitment to the environment like doubling down on drilling.

Shell’s director of gas and upstream operations, Zoe Yujnovich, gushed about an “imminent $5 billion investment opportunity” in Nigeria’s offshore Bonga North oil project. She’s “really keen” to make this investment “as soon as possible.” It’s like hearing someone excitedly planning a party at a house that’s already on fire. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s ‘Not Our Mess’ Defense Faces Nigerian Justice Showdown”

Dec 9th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 9 Dec 2023

In a courtroom drama that could rival any blockbuster movie, nearly 14,000 Nigerians from farming and fishing communities are squaring off against Shell, the oil titan with a talent for turning profits and, apparently, water sources into toxic sludge. These communities from the Niger Delta, where Shell has been cozying up for over 80 years, have had enough of their water being treated like an oil canvas.

Shell, in a move that might make Scrooge McDuck blush, announced record-breaking profits of over $32 billion for the first three quarters of 2022. Meanwhile, the people of Ogale and Bille are wondering why their water looks more like an oil painting than something you’d actually want to drink or fish in. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell in Hot Water for Playing Dumb in Rhode Island’s ‘Ticking Time Bomb’ Lawsuit

Dec 9th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 9 Dec 2023

Over in Rhode Island, the courtroom’s getting hotter than a summer day in the Sahara, and Shell Oil is the star of the show. In a dazzling performance of corporate amnesia, Shell’s lawyers are shrugging off basic questions about the company’s involvement in its terminal at the Port of Providence. It’s like they’ve suddenly forgotten who’s in charge of not turning the area into an environmental disaster zone.

The Conservation Law Foundation (CLF), not to be outdone by Shell’s memory loss, filed a lawsuit back in 2017. They’re accusing Shell of basically rolling out the red carpet for flooding and other climate change-related party crashers at its petroleum storage terminal. CLF isn’t new to this rodeo; they’ve been roping in big oil facilities across Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and Connecticut. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Latest Magic Trick: Turning a Modest Energy Bill into a Financial Nightmare!

Dec 8th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 7 Dec 2023

In a stunning display of numerical acrobatics, Shell Energy recently decided to play fast and loose with the concept of estimated meter readings, leaving one customer absolutely floored. Debbie Abbott, a 53-year-old who practically tiptoes around her gas usage, got the shock of her life when Shell handed her an energy bill almost 8,000% higher than her usual. Talk about inflation!

Debbie, who only cranks up her heating when her home turns into an igloo (14 degrees Celsius, to be precise), was used to seeing bills like £10.66 and £15.12. So, you can imagine her disbelief when Shell casually slid her a final gas bill of £1,197 as she switched to Octopus Energy. That’s not a bill; that’s a ransom note! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Says ‘So Long’ to Retail Energy, Passes the Baton to Octopus

Dec 7th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 7 Dec 2023

In the latest episode of “What Will Shell Do Next?”, the oil giant, known for its subtle as a sledgehammer approach to the environment, has decided to hand over its UK and Germany retail energy operations to Octopus Energy Group. The deal, which was inked faster than you can say “fossil fuels,” makes Octopus the new parent of 1.3 million former Shell customers. Shell’s subsidiary, Impello Limited, is probably waving goodbye with a tear in its corporate eye. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Pension Funds Get Memo: Ditch Oil & Gas

Dec 1st, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Shell is basically the tobacco industry of the energy world – they might as well be selling cigarettes. Their job? Keep the oil and gas flowing, consequences be damned.

Posted by John Donovan; 1 December 2023

In a plot twist that could be straight out of a Hollywood eco-thriller, pension schemes are being told to wake up and smell the carbon emissions. At the Pensions and Lifetime Savings Association’s ESG conference in London, the big talk was about ditching those oh-so-yesterday oil and gas investments. Because, you know, investing in the destruction of our planet is so 20th century.

Enter Tony Burdon, the chief of Make My Money Matter (MMMM), who’s been rallying the troops to write angry letters to their pension schemes. His message? If those fossil fuel fanboys at BP and Shell don’t clean up their act, it’s time to take our money and run. Oh, and he’s got Olivia Coleman from “The Crown” on board, because nothing says serious environmental policy like celebrity endorsements. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Plays Hot Potato with Household Energy Biz, Tosses It to Octopus in the Great British Energy Shuffle

Dec 1st, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 1 December 2023

In a move that screams “not it!”, Shell, the oil giant, has handed off its UK household energy and gas electricity business to Octopus, because why handle something tricky when you can just pass it along? Octopus, seemingly thrilled to catch what Shell tossed aside, is now Britain’s second-biggest energy supplier, hot on the heels of Centrica-owned British Gas.

Greg Jackson, the head honcho at Octopus, which began as a plucky underdog in 2015, is probably doing a victory dance right now. His company is about to inherit 1.3 million Shell Energy customers, boosting its total customer count to a whopping 6.6 million. That’s a lot of bills! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
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