Posted by John Donovan: 21 Dec 2023
In an awe-inspiring display of generosity, Shell USA Inc. and their BFF, Equilon Enterprises LLC, have heroically agreed to cough up a whopping $2.85 million. This princely sum is intended to clean up the trifling mess of hazardous substances they left behind at an oil refinery in Illinois. Talk about breaking the piggy bank!
Judge Nancy J. Rosenstengel, no doubt dazzled by this act of corporate largesse, has given the thumbs-up to this deal. She described it as “in good faith” and “procedurally and substantively fair.” Fair, indeed! After all, what’s a few million in the grand scheme of Shell’s pocket change?
Premcor Refining Group Inc., the recipient of this windfall, must feel like they’ve won the lottery. Their 2021 second amended complaint gets them a seat at the table where the big boys play. They resolved their liability under the Comprehensive Environmental Response, Compensation, and Liability Act with Illinois, because, as we all know, big oil always plays by the rules.
So let’s give a slow clap for Shell, the benevolent guardian of the environment, always ready to write a check (however modest) when their hand is caught in the cookie jar. It’s heartwarming to see such selfless dedication to fixing problems they’ve had a hand in creating.
And let’s not forget our disclaimer: We strive for accuracy in our portrayal of Shell’s global escapades. If we’ve gotten something wrong, do tell.
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