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BP MUST BE DESPERATE

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The story so far:

Both BP and Shell are in the process of divesting their Defined Benefit Pension Schemes.

BP to Aviva
Shell to Legal and General
Shell US has already divested its Defined Benefit Pension Scheme to Prudential

BP is downsizing i.e. divesting Renewables Assets under pressure from activist Elliot. Thereby, retaining  core assets at an attractive price.

Wael Sawan Shell CEO using carefully chosen words vehemently denying that Shell is in the process of taking over BP. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

When Shell Met BP – A Love Story Fueled by Oil, Lies, and a $120 Million Fine

“And speaking of Shell’s finest: enter Simon Henry, Shell’s former CFO and now newly appointed BP board member. A man intimately connected to the hydrocarbon reserves scandal.”

Ah, Shell and BP. Britain’s answer to “Which fossil-fueled supervillain do you prefer?” Now there’s murmuring that Shell—the world’s leading oil-slicked PR machine and gold-medal winner in the Deadliest Workplace Olympics—might consider buying BP, its slightly less polished cousin. It’s like Dracula pondering whether to adopt Frankenstein.

But before we get too sentimental, let’s remember what Shell brings to the table:

  • A glorious history of employee care, like handing Dutch staff over to the Nazis during WWII, and later using workers as test subjects for carcinogenic chemicals. Experimental cruelty disguised as corporate efficiency.
  • A North Sea platform scandal so outrageous it could be a Monty Python sketch, were it not for the dead offshore workers. Lifeboats were reportedly unseaworthy, and Shell’s internal policy was colloquially dubbed “Touch Fuck All.” Charming.
  • The 2004 reserves scandal, where Shell admitted it had wildly exaggerated its hydrocarbon reserves. Shareholders were shocked. The SEC fined Shell $120 million, which the company could pay using just one of its greenwashing budgets.
  • Nigeria, where Shell’s legacy is so soaked in blood, corruption, and environmental devastation that it makes the Exxon Valdez spill look like a spilt milkshake.
  • Hakluyt, Shell’s in-house intelligence firm. If MI6 and Blackwater had a baby who hated Greenpeace, it’d be Hakluyt. This covert unit reportedly spied on activists, journalists, and anyone else who dared whisper the truth.
  • Let’s not forget Shell’s ties to the apartheid regime, its cameo in the Al-Yamamah BAE oil-for-arms scandal, and its incestuous intelligence links through Hakluyt.
  • And then there’s SPECTRE and SMERSH… oh wait, those are fictional. Shell isn’t. It’s worse.

Investors like BlackRock and Vanguard still happily line their pockets from Shell’s sludge-soaked profits. Because what’s a little ecological genocide when there are dividends to collect? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

The BP Target: Bloated, Battered, and Begging for a Buyer

Shell, that noble torchbearer of fossil-fuelled “progress,” is once again in the headlines—not for saving the planet (don’t be silly), but for the hotly whispered prospect of gobbling up BP, its longtime frenemy in pollution, profit, and public-relations gymnastics.

Because when you’ve already left a wake of ecological destruction, human rights abuses, and accounting scandals, what’s one more body on the pile?

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Shell: The Serial Offender That Keeps on Drilling

Let’s start with the obvious: Shell isn’t just an oil company. It’s a cautionary tale in human and corporate depravity. This is the firm that: read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s $66 Million Audit Fiasco, a Flaming Gas Rig, and That Time They Lied About Oil Reserves: Business as Usual

Let’s give a warm, fiery round of applause to Shell plc—the undisputed heavyweight champion of corporate facepalms. This week’s episode in the long-running series What the Actual Fuck, Shell? features the oil Goliath filing amended financial reports in the US, after its beloved auditor EY—yes, the Ernst & Young you know and regret—forgot the actual rules of auditing.

Apparently, the lead audit partner overstayed their welcome on Shell’s books, breaking SEC rotation rules two years in a row. But don’t worry! No financials were changed. Which is great, because if there’s one thing more reliable than Shell’s gas leaks, it’s their ability to break the rules without breaking a sweat. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell & BP: The Dynamic Duo of Climate Chaos

Shell even reassured us it won’t be buying BP—for at least six months. How noble.

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Oil, two fossil-fuelled juggernauts stood shoulder to shoulder atop a scorched planet. Their names? Shell and —the Bonnie and Clyde of carbon capitalism, the Gordon Gekkos of global warming. If the Earth had lungs, these two would’ve been chain-smoking them for decades.

And now, just when you thought it couldn’t get more grotesque, we have merger whispers. Shell flirted with the idea of swallowing BP whole, because nothing says “energy transition” quite like an all-British megamerger to keep the fossil flame alive. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell, Spies & Sin Stocks: The Fossil-Fuelled Farce That Never Ends

It’s almost poetic how Shell manages to be simultaneously everywhere and innocent—like a billionaire arsonist blaming the match. The latest flare-up in the company’s scorched-earth public relations portfolio? An espionage scandal in Italy so shady it makes James Bond look like a data privacy officer.

Let’s dig in, shall we?

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Shell’s New Hobby: Spying for Fun and (Mostly) Profit

Turns out that Shell, that shining beacon of climate leadership (pause for laughter), has allegedly been a customer of a rogue Italian outfit called Equalize. Now, Equalize isn’t your average reputation-laundering consultancy. No, this one comes with options: hacking tax authorities, infiltrating law enforcement systems, bribing witnesses, spying on employees—and allegedly serving a side of mafia, Mossad, and Vatican connections. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell & BP Sin Syndicate: Pollution, Profits, and Privilege – The Real Energy Transition

What do you get when you cross two oil giants with a fondness for dictatorship-era espionage, apartheid-era diplomacy, and fireballs of carcinogens? You get Shell and BP: the dynamic duo of destruction, the real masters of global transition—transitioning the planet from livable to cooked, one explosive scandal at a time.

Let’s begin with , Britain’s teetering national oil champion, desperately trying to cling to its “independence” like a CEO clings to a bonus while oil rigs burn. With shares down 22% over the last year, BP is now more of a discount bin than a blue-chip. The vultures are circling—US oil giants and even Shell (because nothing says “rescue” like handing the keys to another moral sinkhole). read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell-BP Megamerger: When Greed Meets Greenwash in a Match Made in Hydrocarbon Hell

When Shell CEO Wael Sawan responded to speculation about a mega-merger with BP, he said the bar for acquisitions was “very high.” Clearly, it’s not nearly as high as Shell’s tolerance for greenhouse gas emissions, human rights controversies, or sheer corporate arrogance.

Now, as rumours swirl about Shell swallowing up its once-proud British cousin, BP, we are once again reminded that in Big Oil, consolidation is just a polite word for “expanding your emissions footprint while doubling your marketing budget.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

HELLFIRE MERGER: When Shell Meets BP, the Planet Burns

By John Donovan: royaldutchshellplc.com

Is it a match made in heaven or a merger forged in the flaming pits of fossil-fuel hell?

Shell and BP—Britain’s beloved petro-behemoths—are flirting with a union so unholy it could make even Beelzebub blink. Bloomberg’s whispers and spreadsheets are in overdrive, but let’s cut the polite analyst drivel: this isn’t about synergy—it’s about greed, greenwashing, and grabbing the last oily dollars before the planet croaks.

“Greenwashing Since 1907,” reads the headline in our accompanying cartoon (see above), and we mean it. Shell and BP have been gaslighting the public longer than most countries have had electricity. And now, they’re pondering a mega-merger that could hand them even more power to pollute, profiteer, and pretend they’re helping the planet. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Eyes BP Takeover While Drenched in Gas, Cash, and Climate Denial

There are corporate villains, and then there’s Shell—the Bond villain of Big Oil, now openly toying with the idea of swallowing BP whole like a boa constrictor eyeing a stunned rat. With BP’s renewable daydreams in flames and its share price gasping for relevance, Shell’s chief executive Wael Sawan has stepped forward as the calm, calculating undertaker, declaring at the AGM that “the bar for mergers and acquisitions is very high”—which in Shell-speak translates to: “We’ll wait until they’re cheap enough to loot.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Games: Champagne Bonuses, Cracked Climates, and the BP Bait-and-Switch

In the latest episode of Oilopoly: Climate Be Damned, Shell—the planet-warming powerhouse formerly known as Royal Dutch, now just royally brazen—is facing a pesky little revolt. No, not from the millions affected by its carbon-spewing empire or the earthquake survivors of Groningen, but from its own shareholders, clutching their pearls at the audacity of an £8.6 million payday for CEO Wael Sawan.

Yes, Sawan—the man who makes eight figures while fending off climate lawsuits with one hand and greenwashing with the other—received a nearly £1 million raise last year. Apparently, polluting the planet, greenlighting LNG expansion, and flirting with a BP takeover is now a performance bonus category. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

BP: Blood in the Water, and Shell Smells It

What do you get when a bumbling oil giant haemorrhages value, loses strategic coherence, and waves around a “Help Wanted” sign for a new chairman? Apparently, a neon-lit invitation for the fossil fuel mafia to pounce—Shell first in line, calculator in hand, rubbing its oily palms.

Yes, dear readers, the whispers around London aren’t your average City gossip. BP—once a titan of British industry, now more of a cautionary tale wrapped in PR greenwash—is reportedly catching the eye of its smug, more bloated cousin: Shell. And why not? BP’s market cap has shrunk to a pint-sized £56 billion, less than half that of Shell, whose idea of “climate leadership” involves expanding oil drilling while calling it a “transition.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell to Swallow BP? European Megamerger Could Birth Frankenstein’s Oil Giant

Get ready for the unholy matrimony of Big Oil’s most morally elastic titans. Rumours are swirling that Shell, the master of greenwash and geopolitical manoeuvres, is sizing up a takeover of BP, its long-time accomplice in pollution, profiteering, and PR spin. If consummated, this would be one of Europe’s largest-ever mergers—a monstrous oil-and-gas chimera that might finally give ExxonMobil something to worry about.

And let’s be honest: Shell and BP getting back together is less a love story than the reunion tour of colonial capitalism. These two go way back—to apartheid South Africa, where both quietly profited while the world boycotted, and to Hakluyt, the covert intelligence firm founded by former MI6 agents to serve, among others, the sensitive needs of Shell and BP boardrooms. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Back to Petroleum: BP and Shell Reignite the Fossil Fire—with a Side of Green Spin

Shell—bankrolled by the usual suspects like BlackRock—is reportedly considering scooping up BP, or what’s left of its battered, green-tinted carcass.

It’s official. BP’s much-vaunted “Beyond Petroleum” rebrand has now aged about as well as crude in a plastic bottle. After decades of climate posturing, oil-soaked disasters, and a failed fling with windmills, BP has come crawling back to its true love: fossil fuels. Maybe it’s time to call the company what it really is—“Back to Petroleum”.

And what better partner in this hydrocarbon love story than Shell—the other half of the British oil aristocracy, and arguably the more ruthless cousin. Not content with polluting the planet, Shell has long enjoyed ties to geopolitical espionage (hello, Hakluyt) and a shameful history of operating in apartheid South Africa. BP wasn’t far behind, of course. When it comes to moral bankruptcy, these two have always shared a boardroom. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell “working with advisers” to assess the “merits” of acquiring BP

Shell Eyes BP: A Sin Stock Wedding Made in Hell

This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by a human editor.

Hell hath no fury like Shell with a cash pile and a conscience to ignore.

The ultimate sin stock — Shell Plc, the polluting powerhouse adored by BlackRock and Vanguard — is reportedly toying with the idea of buying BP, its longtime frenemy in fossil-fuelled destruction. The deal, if it goes ahead, would be one of the largest oil industry takeovers in history — and perhaps the most poetic union of corporate cynicism in living memory. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell to BP: “No Thanks, We’d Rather Buy Ourselves (Again)”

This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by a human editor.

Shell CEO Wael Sawan has officially confirmed what we all suspected: when it comes to strategic choices, nothing gets Shell hot under the collar like… Shell itself. Asked by the Financial Times whether the oil giant might finally pounce on BP — its bedraggled, weakened partner in decades of extractive mischief — Sawan didn’t mince words:

“We will always look at these things, but you are also looking to see what is the alternative. Right now, buying back Shell [shares] for us continues to be absolutely the right alternative to go for.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.