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Shell’s Boss Bags £8m: “Let Them Eat Carbon Intensity Reductions”

Posted by John Donovan 8 April 2024

In a move that has charity workers choking on their avocado toast, Shell’s new top dog, Wael Sawan, has snagged a staggering £8 million in his first year at the helm, leaving many wondering if he’s moonlighting as a magician pulling money out of thin air.

While most folks are counting pennies at the pump, Sawan is raking in the cash like it’s going out of style, leaving pressure groups frothing at the mouth faster than you can say “climate crisis.”

Jonathan Noronha-Gant of Global Witness didn’t hold back, declaring the payday a “bitter pill to swallow for the millions of workers living with the high costs of energy.” You tell ’em, Jonathan!

But wait, there’s more! Shell, never one to shy away from a bit of controversy, decided to toss its climate pledges into the recycling bin faster than you can say “greenwashing.”

They’ve dialed down their “net carbon intensity” reduction goals from a modest 45% to a paltry 15-20% by 2030. Why the change of heart, you ask? Well, according to Shell, it’s all about that good ol’ uncertainty in the energy transition. Because who needs ambitious climate targets when you can focus on “value over volume,” right?

And in case you thought BP was going to let Shell hog the limelight, think again. BP’s big cheese, Murray Auchincloss, waltzed away with a cheeky £8 million last year, proving once again that the top brass in the energy world are swimming in cash faster than you can say “fossil fuel frenzy.”

Andrew Speke of the High Pay Centre didn’t mince his words, accusing Shell of prioritizing “the enrichment of their executives and shareholders” over, you know, saving the planet. But fear not, Andrew, for surely reforming company law will be as easy as convincing a polar bear to swap its fur coat for a Speedo.

So there you have it, folks. While the world burns and wallets whimper, Shell’s bosses are laughing all the way to the bank. Because when it comes to prioritising profits over the planet, they’ve mastered the art of the shell game.

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