Pension Funds Get Memo: Ditch Oil & Gas

In a plot twist that could be straight out of a Hollywood eco-thriller, pension schemes are being told to wake up and smell the carbon emissions. At the Pensions and Lifetime Savings Association’s ESG conference in London, the big talk was about ditching those oh-so-yesterday oil and gas investments. Because, you know, investing in the destruction of our planet is so 20th century.

Enter Tony Burdon, the chief of Make My Money Matter (MMMM), who’s been rallying the troops to write angry letters to their pension schemes. His message? If those fossil fuel fanboys at BP and Shell don’t clean up their act, it’s time to take our money and run. Oh, and he’s got Olivia Coleman from “The Crown” on board, because nothing says serious environmental policy like celebrity endorsements.

Burdon, in a move that might make even David Attenborough nod in approval, claims that a whopping £1.5 trillion in assets under management is now committed to net-zero pensions. He admits change is slower than a snail on a leisurely stroll, but hey, points for effort, right?

His target? The oily tendrils of oil and gas holdings in pension funds. His argument? These companies are planning to expand, which is basically a big middle finger to what the International Energy Agency says we need to do to stop turning Earth into a giant sauna.

His advice to pension schemes is straight out of a breakup text: “Put oil and gas companies on notice. If they fail to change, you need to divest.” Because nothing says “I’m breaking up with you” like pulling your billions out of fossil fuels.

And then there’s Shell, casually backtracking on emission reduction targets with a cool 80% of shareholders nodding along. Burdon’s take? Shell is basically the tobacco industry of the energy world – they might as well be selling cigarettes. Their job? Keep the oil and gas flowing, consequences be damned.

MMMM is also shaking its fist at fiduciary duty, calling it unfit for a world where the climate is throwing more tantrums than a two-year-old without a nap. Burdon’s rallying cry? Rethink fiduciary duty, because in a climate emergency, counting your cash while the world burns might not be the best strategy.

Meanwhile, Shell’s playing its own game. In June, they told shareholders to expect steady or slightly higher oil output into 2030. Reuters reports that this is CEO Wael Sawan’s attempt to woo back investors who are frowning at the not-so-sparkling returns from renewables. Sawan basically shelved a plan to reduce oil output, claiming they’d already hit their target. And the Financial Times chimes in, noting Shell’s commitment to new oil and gas production for years to come.

So, as pension funds are getting the memo to dump oil and gas, Shell seems to be singing, “We will, we will, drill you!”

Disclaimer: We’re all about accuracy in our portrayal of Shell’s escapades, so if we’ve got something wrong, do let us know. After all, in a tale of environment versus oil giants, getting the facts right isn’t just a good idea – it’s crucial.