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Shell Says ‘So Long’ to Retail Energy, Passes the Baton to Octopus

Posted by John Donovan: 7 Dec 2023

In the latest episode of “What Will Shell Do Next?”, the oil giant, known for its subtle as a sledgehammer approach to the environment, has decided to hand over its UK and Germany retail energy operations to Octopus Energy Group. The deal, which was inked faster than you can say “fossil fuels,” makes Octopus the new parent of 1.3 million former Shell customers. Shell’s subsidiary, Impello Limited, is probably waving goodbye with a tear in its corporate eye.

As of December 1, Octopus became the proud new owner of Shell Energy Retail’s customers, and in a move that screams “new era,” they’ve renamed it to the super catchy “Octopus Energy Operations 2 Limited.” Catchy, right?

This deal turns Octopus into the energy equivalent of a rock star, bumping up their UK customer count to over 6.5 million, with a bonus 300,000 in Germany. They’re also throwing in some perks for Electroverse customers with new offers at Shell forecourts and Shell Recharge EV subscriptions. Because nothing says “green energy” like Shell’s fossil fuel stations.

Greg Jackson, Octopus’s founder, couldn’t contain his excitement. He said, “We are pleased to be the new home for Shell Energy Retail customers in the UK and Germany. Now even more customers can receive our five-star customer service and choose from a whole heap of cheap, green tariffs, benefitting both their pockets and the energy system.” It’s like he’s Santa Claus, but instead of toys, he’s doling out energy plans.

Shell Energy, not wanting to be left out of the headlines, confirmed that Octopus had completed the acquisition of their UK retail provider. But hold the phone – what about their 500,000 broadband and phone customers and the 1.3 million energy users? Well, they’re in for a wild ride. Octopus, not exactly a household name in the ISP game, assures them that “nothing changes… you’ll stay a Shell Energy customer, your service won’t be interrupted, and we’re still here to support you.” Comforting, right?

The future of Shell’s broadband and phone customers is as clear as mud. They might be sold off to another ISP or perhaps find a new home within Octopus’s ever-expanding empire. And let’s not forget about Shell Energy’s telecoms customers, who are just Openreach-based. The suspense is killing us!

Meanwhile, Shell, in a strategic masterstroke, is saying adios to retail operations to focus on its true love, upstream oil and gas production. Because why deal with volatile consumer markets when you can just drill for more oil?

As Octopus prepares to welcome Shell’s energy and broadband refugees, the energy landscape in the UK and Germany is shifting. Octopus promises reliable energy supplies and competitive rates, but the real question is, how will they juggle this massive influx of customers and their commitment to renewable energy?

Stay tuned for the next chapter in this energy saga, where Shell keeps being Shell, and Octopus tries to prove that eight arms are better than two.

Disclaimer: We’re all about getting the story straight, especially when it involves Shell’s shenanigans. If we’ve missed the mark, do tell us. In the epic battle of environment vs. oil giants, accuracy isn’t just nice, it’s necessary.

 
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