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Shell’s Climate Conundrum


Posted by John Donovan: 19 April 2024

Well, folks, grab your popcorn because it’s time for another episode of “Shell Says What?” In today’s edition, our favorite fossil fuel giant is back at it again, telling shareholders that, hey, maybe we’re doing just fine with this whole climate change thing, thank you very much.

 Shell is urging shareholders to give a big fat thumbs-down to a proposal that would actually push the company to step up its game in the fight against climate change. Because who needs tighter climate targets when you’ve got profits to chase, am I right?

This resolution, cooked up by a group of investors with a cool $4 trillion under their belts, is calling on Shell to get its act together and align its carbon reduction targets with the Paris Climate Agreement. Seems pretty reasonable, right? Well, not according to Shell, who thinks it’s perfectly fine to just keep doing what they’re doing, thank you very much.

According to Shell’s brilliant minds, actually committing to the Paris plan could have the audacious effect of… wait for it… fighting climate change. Shocking, I know. But fear not, dear shareholders, because Shell has a master plan: ignore those pesky emissions from its customers and just keep raking in the cash. Problem solved!

But wait, there’s more! Shell’s directors are also throwing shade at the idea of holding the company accountable for, you know, its impact on the planet. Because apparently, expecting a fossil fuel giant to take responsibility for its role in climate change is just too darn unrealistic. Who knew?

Of course, environmental activists are not having any of it. They’re calling out Shell’s lack of imagination and urging the company to wake up and smell the carbon emissions. But hey, when you’re sitting on a pile of cash the size of a small country’s GDP, who needs imagination, right?

So there you have it, folks. Another day, another mind-boggling display of corporate indifference to the planet’s impending doom. But hey, at least Shell’s shareholders can sleep easy knowing that their investments are safe, right? Right?

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