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Shell’s Great Escape: Fleeing Protests with the Efficiency of a Greased Pig

Mar 24th, 2024
by John Donovan.

As long as the oil keeps flowing and the profits keep rolling in, who cares about a few unpaid workers?

Posted by John Donovan: 24 March 2024

In a move that can only be described as “strategic retreat” (or, let’s be honest, “run for the hills”), Royal Dutch Shell has evacuated around 60 foreign staff from Iraq’s Basra Gas Company. But don’t worry, folks, Shell assures us that this sudden exodus is merely a security measure, prompted by a teensy-weensy protest over delayed pay. Because when in doubt, evacuate, right?

The fun began when workers at Basra Gas Company (BGC) decided they were tired of waiting for their paychecks to arrive. In a move that Shell probably didn’t anticipate during their morning coffee, these brave souls took to the streets to demand what’s rightfully theirs. And what did Shell do in response? They promptly packed their bags and flew their foreign staff out of the country faster than you can say “employee satisfaction.”

But fear not, for Shell wants us to know that everything is perfectly fine. In fact, they’re working remotely now, because apparently, you can solve all your problems from the comfort of your own home, even if that home happens to be thousands of miles away from the protest zone.

Of course, Shell wants to reassure us that this whole debacle won’t affect production. Because who needs workers on the ground when you can just phone it in, right? Plus, it’s not like delayed paychecks and disgruntled employees could possibly impact morale or productivity. Nope, not at all.

But wait, there’s more! Shell is also working tirelessly with their Iraqi state partner to resolve this little pay hiccup. Because when your employees are protesting in the streets, the best course of action is obviously to send them a strongly worded email and hope for the best.

In the meantime, Iraqi officials are scrambling to keep the peace and assure us that everything is under control. After all, what’s a little protest between friends, right? As long as the oil keeps flowing and the profits keep rolling in, who cares about a few unpaid workers?

So, here’s to Shell, the master of swift exits and remote work solutions. Because when the going gets tough, the tough get going… preferably to a place with better pay and happier workers.

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Posted in: Business ethics, Business Principles, Fossil Fuels, Gas, GoogleNews, Iraq, John Donovan, Royal Dutch Shell, Royal Dutch Shell Plc, Shell PLC.
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