Royal Dutch Shell Plc  .com Rotating Header Image

Extinction Rebellion Throws a Block Party at Shell’s Doorstep

Posted by John Donovan 20 March 2024

In a stunning display of “not today, Satan,” climate crusaders from Extinction Rebellion decided it was high time to throw a little shindig at the access roads to Shell Pernis.

The reason for this festive blockade? Shell, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that what the world really needs right now is more oil and gas. Because, of course, the best way to handle a climate crisis is to double down on the cause. It’s a bit like trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it—literally. Meanwhile, Shell’s old rigs and pipelines in the North Sea are enjoying a lovely retirement, slowly rusting away like forgotten relics of a bygone era.

According to XR’s spokesperson, Bram Kroezen, Shell’s business strategy apparently revolves around profits and shareholder returns, which is about as shocking as finding out water is wet. Kroezen also pointed out Shell’s appeal against the Milieudefensie climate case verdict, suggesting that Shell’s moral compass is so lost, not even Jack Sparrow could find it with a map and a compass.

Meanwhile, Mayor Ahmed Aboutaleb’s spokesperson mentioned the municipality had been tipped off about the complaints and was “supported in principle,” whatever that means. It seems the mayor is adopting a wait-and-see approach, ready to chat with the protesters if public order becomes the day’s special. And of course, the police are at the scene, presumably to ensure the party doesn’t get too out of hand.

But wait, there’s more! This isn’t just a local bash; XR has gone international with it, hosting simultaneous demonstrations in the UK, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, and Germany. The guest list includes anyone with a beef against new oil and gas extraction sites in the North Sea and the Wadden Sea. Because when it comes to ruining the planet, Shell is apparently aiming for a global impact.

In a world where corporate giants like Shell seem determined to march us all off a climate cliff, it’s heartening to see some folks are ready to stand up and say, “Not today.” Let’s just hope Shell gets the memo before it’s too late.

DISCLAIMER: Content published on this non-commercial advert-free platform may incorporate information generated by Artificial Intelligence (AI) and various other technological means, including translation and information published on Wikipedia. The articles presented may be satirical adaptations derived from one or more previously published sources, crafted to maintain factual accuracy while incorporating elements of satire. Individuals or entities mentioned in our articles are encouraged to notify us of any inaccuracies that may require rectification. Readers are advised to verify all information for accuracy and completeness independently. Any actions taken based on this content are at your own risk.
This website and sisters,,,, and, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Comments are closed.