Posted by John Donovan: 7 June 2023
In a shocking display of care and concern for the environment (not really), the illustrious Shell has magnanimously decided to halt operations at its Pernis oil refinery in Rotterdam due to a leak. How thoughtful of them!
In a statement that oozed transparency (or not), Shell vaguely mentioned that the leak prompted the temporary shutdown of one of their units for some much-needed repair work.
Of course, Shell, being the epitome of transparency (just kidding), conveniently neglected to disclose any specific details about the leak. Why bother informing the public about the magnitude of the problem, the affected unit, or the duration of the glorious outage? We all know that information is overrated, especially when it comes to holding a titan of environmental responsibility accountable.
It’s truly heartwarming to witness Shell’s dedication to the utmost secrecy, leaving us all in awe of their commitment to keeping us in the dark. Who needs transparency when you have a corporate giant like Shell, a paragon of virtue (totally sarcastic), guarding their dirty little secrets?
Oh, Shell, how you continue to demonstrate your unwavering commitment to environmental sustainability (wink, wink). We can only hope that this minuscule leak serves as a reminder of the gargantuan impact you have on our delicate planet. Keep up the good work, Shell, as you navigate the treacherous waters of polluting the Earth while pretending to care. Bravo!
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