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Shell’s Astonishing Strategy: Super-Sizing Profits and Middle Fingers to the Planet

Posted by John Donovan 14 June 2023

In a stunning display of corporate arrogance, Shell has decided to throw caution to the wind and abandon any pretense of caring about the environment. The oil giant’s latest move? Scrap their plan to reduce oil production, a feeble attempt to appear eco-friendly, and instead maintain their current levels of pollution until the end of the decade. How generous of them.

Shell CEO, Wael Sawan, must be thrilled with himself as he disregards the urgent need to combat climate change. While other oil companies are at least paying lip service to environmental responsibility, Shell boldly proclaims that they have already met their reduction targets through clever asset sales. Who needs real action when you can just shuffle numbers around?

But don’t worry, folks, Shell still wants you to believe they care about the planet. They plan to invest a measly $10-15 billion in low-carbon energy solutions like biofuels and hydrogen. It’s a classic case of greenwashing, as they quietly retreat from wind and solar projects that could make a real difference.

Meanwhile, Shell continues to prioritize lining the pockets of their shareholders. They’re hiking the dividend by 15% and spending a whopping $1 billion more on share buybacks. Because who needs to invest in a sustainable future when you can buy back your own stock?

Predictably, this move has enraged those green-focused politicians and climate-conscious shareholders. But Shell couldn’t care less. They’re too busy counting their profits and thumbing their noses at anyone who dares to criticize their reckless disregard for the planet.

It’s clear that Shell is on a collision course with the Paris Agreement and the urgent need to reduce carbon emissions. But as long as they can squeeze every last drop of profit out of the earth, they’ll continue to ignore the pleas of scientists and activists.

So let’s raise a glass to Shell, the poster child for greed and environmental destruction. They’ve truly outdone themselves this time, solidifying their position as the epitome of a ruthless, polluting oil giant.

Right of Reply: Shell is invited to point out for correction any factual inaccuracies and supply closing comments for publication as part of this article on an unedited basis. 

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