Isn’t it remarkable how Shell’s PR machine can turn their environmental destruction into a heartwarming success story?
Posted by JOHN DONOVAN August 1, 2023
Shell, the benevolent oil giant known for its selfless dedication to the environment (wink, wink), is back with its heartwarming PR campaign – “The Giving Pump.” Get ready to fuel up your cars and your conscience simultaneously as Shell graciously lets you “give back” while they keep on taking from the planet.
Oh, what a delightful initiative! Starting today until September 30, you can be a part of Shell’s “Force For Good” (a phrase that couldn’t be more ironic) and support local children’s charities. All you have to do is use the designated pump at select Shell stations, and voilà, you’re a hero! Don’t worry; participating in this magnanimous act won’t cost you anything extra – Shell has got it all figured out.
With colorful signage to tug at your heartstrings, the specially marked “Giving Pumps” are strategically placed at over 7,500 US gas stations nationwide. It’s almost like they want to make sure you don’t miss the chance to feel good about yourself while you fill up your tank with their precious fossil fuels.
Renee Power, the General Manager of Mobility Marketing North America at Shell, couldn’t contain her excitement. “We believe the third year of this campaign will have the same heartwarming response of customers supporting local and national charities through the simple act of filling up.” Oh, how touching! The simple act of fueling up will surely solve all the world’s problems.
And hey, don’t you worry about where the money actually goes. Shell has generously handpicked 532 local and national charities, including Boys & Girls Clubs, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, and more. It’s almost as if they’re trying to make you forget that their relentless pursuit of profits contributes to the very problems they claim to be solving.
Let’s not forget the heartwarming numbers from last year – $3.1M in donations, 304,665,445 gallons of gas pumped, and $4.6M raised since 2021. Applause, please! Isn’t it remarkable how Shell’s PR machine can turn their environmental destruction into a heartwarming success story?
In case you want to know more about Shell’s feel-good charade, you can visit their website and follow them on social media. Because nothing screams authenticity like a well-crafted PR campaign, right?
But wait, there’s more! Shell wants to remind you that they operate in more than 70 countries and employ over 12,000 people to “tackle the energy challenges of the future.” We’re sure those challenges don’t include reducing their carbon emissions or transitioning to renewable energy. Kudos, Shell, for staying committed to the status quo.
In conclusion, let’s raise a toast to Shell for this “Giving Pump” initiative. It’s a brilliant diversion tactic to distract us from their ruthless exploitation of the planet and the environment. Bravo, Shell, bravo! We eagerly await your next PR spectacle while you continue to fuel our world’s destruction.
The Giving Pump is supporting 532 local and national charities across the US, including Boys & Girls Clubs, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, Big Brothers Big Sisters, Make-A-Wish Foundation, Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, and more.
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