Shell’s Remarkable Cybersecurity “Incident” at Australian BG Group

Posted by John Donovan 17 Sept 2023

In a stunning turn of events that surely took everyone by surprise, Shell has graced us with the news of a cybersecurity “incident” involving its Australian subsidiary, BG Group. It appears that the oil giant is just too modest to call it a full-blown breach.

Yes, you read that correctly. Shell, the paragon of ethical and eco-friendly practices, has found itself entangled in the web of the notorious MOVEit hack. You know, the kind of hack that sends shivers down the spines of sensible folks who dare to transfer their pension information and social security numbers. Just minor stuff, right?

So, let’s delve into this masterclass of cybersecurity excellence. Shell, ever the benevolent guardian of personal data, confessed that some “personal information” had been accessed without proper authorization. But fear not, dear victims, for Shell has valiantly attempted to notify you. Aren’t they just the epitome of responsibility?

But wait, there’s more. Brace yourselves for the plot twist of the century! This “personal information” that was so recklessly mishandled is from the distant past of 2013. A real vintage year for data breaches, one might say. While it might be as outdated as a cassette tape, Shell kindly reminds us that there’s still a risk of identity theft and phishing campaigns. How considerate of them to unearth this treasure trove of bygone data!

But alas, in their moment of crisis, Shell has mysteriously forgotten the exact number of individuals who were impacted. Perhaps the number is so staggeringly large that it defies simple enumeration?

In a shocking turn of events, Shell has been busy informing affected staff members since early July. It’s almost as if they wanted to savor the drama of this incident, prolonging the suspense for their employees. How thoughtful!

And of course, no major “incident” is complete without an expert opinion. Hebe Chen, an analyst with IG Markets, astutely pointed out that this whole ordeal exposed the “fragile protection measures” in Australia’s corporate world. Bravo, Shell! You’ve not only enlightened us about your own cybersecurity prowess but also highlighted the ineffectiveness of an entire nation’s cybersecurity strategy.

So, there you have it, folks. Shell’s cybersecurity “incident” is a shining example of corporate responsibility and data protection. We eagerly await their next misadventure in the world of digital security.

Shell is a repeat offender…

See…

Shell guilty of allowing worlds biggest breach of employee details

And just in case we got anything wrong in this entirely accurate and unbiased piece of journalism, Shell is kindly invited to enlighten us.

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