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Shell Sues Greenpeace for $2.1 Million: An Episode Straight Out of ‘Succession’

Maybe HBO should consider a spin-off: “Succession: The Shell Chronicles.” Stay tuned for the next episode, where Shell might just take legal action against Mother Nature for climate change.

Posted by John Donovan: 24 Jan 24

In the latest episode of “Real Life Imitates Succession,” Shell, the ever-so-conscientious oil giant, has decided to take a leaf out of Cousin Greg’s playbook. That’s right, folks – Shell is suing Greenpeace for a whopping $2.1 million! It seems like Shell’s boardroom, with all its drama, might give the Roy family a run for their money.

So, what’s the deal? Shell is demanding a cool million in damages, plus legal fees, because six fearless Greenpeace activists decided to have a little 13-day vacation on a moving oil platform. Talk about a high-seas adventure! But wait, there’s more – the lawsuit could skyrocket to $8.6 million if contractors decide they want a piece of the action. Shell’s generosity knows no bounds, offering to reduce the lawsuit if Greenpeace promises to stop party crashing at Shell’s oil and gas shindigs in the future.

This whole charade is eerily reminiscent of a subplot from ‘Succession’, where Cousin Greg, in a stroke of genius, plans to sue Greenpeace to reclaim his inheritance. His legal strategy? Suing for defamation over a social media comment – a move that screams, “I went to law school… on TV.”

Greenpeace, not missing a beat, shared a TikTok comparing Shell’s legal acrobatics to something “only Greg could come up with.” And who should join in the fun but Jesse Armstrong, the mastermind behind ‘Succession’, who donated a handsome £25,000 ($31,800) to Greenpeace’s emergency fund. Armstrong’s take on the situation? Satire affecting the real world, and wondering who Shell might go after next – ‘Save the Children’?

Shell, in a statement to ‘Fortune’, insists their intentions have been grossly misunderstood. It’s all about safety at sea, they say, not about stifling protests. How noble!

Meanwhile, as Shell rakes in $42.3 billion in profits, thanks in part to global crises, they’re also casually ditching their promise to reduce oil production. Because why stick to climate targets when there’s money to be made, right?

As Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth turn to the courts for justice, Shell’s legal battles are starting to look like a high-stakes drama series. Maybe HBO should consider a spin-off: “Succession: The Shell Chronicles.” Stay tuned for the next episode, where Shell might just take legal action against Mother Nature for climate change.

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