Shell’s Aberdeen HQ: From Skyline Staple to Rubble and ‘Regeneration’ Rhetoric

Posted by John Donovan: 20 Feb 24

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gather ’round for the demolition derby of the decade, featuring none other than Shell, your friendly neighborhood oil giant, as it takes a wrecking ball to its own piece of Aberdeen history. That’s right, the iconic Altens HQ, a structure that has graced the city skyline for longer than most of us have been alive, is about to be reduced to a memory. But fear not, for Shell comes bearing gifts of “positive impact” promises and visions of grandeur for the now vacant land.

As Shell moves its operations downtown, they’ve unveiled a £10 million master plan to lay waste to the old oil and gas landmark. Because nothing says “moving forward” quite like tearing down a piece of history, right? But here’s the kicker: as the dust settles (quite literally), Shell assures us that this is merely Act One of their grand plan to sprinkle some positive pixie dust on the land they leave behind.

“We need to demolish old HQ to make way for new vision,” declares Shell, with the kind of optimism usually reserved for politicians and beauty pageant contestants. Generations of workers have called this building home since its 1973 debut, but Simon Roddy, Senior VP of Shell’s Upstream infrastructure division and a sentimental alumnus of the site, is already dreaming of its next act in the energy industry’s saga.

Cue the demolition squad, seasoned veterans of destruction across Scotland, who are slated to start their engines on Monday, February 26. Armed with “innovative” methods to keep landfill contributions to a minimum, they’re on a mission to erase the Shell building from the map within a year. And in a heartwarming nod to the locals, a newsletter promises that this “Tullos regeneration project” is the dawn of a bright future for the community, local business, and, naturally, Shell itself.

But wait, there’s more! As whispers of environmental concerns and nostalgia for the old HQ buzz through the air, Shell and its demolition dream team pledge to proceed “in a responsible and respectful manner,” soothing the hearts of those who hold the site dear.

And for those holding out hope that this newly vacated land might spare St Fittick’s Park in Torry from being swallowed by Aberdeen’s Energy Transition Zone (ETZ), well, don’t hold your breath. Despite the ETZ’s noble quest for quayside access, the Shell site’s destiny lies elsewhere, not as a knight in shining armor for Torry’s green spaces but as yet another chapter in Shell’s ongoing saga of regeneration rhetoric.

So, as Shell swings the wrecking ball, let’s all sit back, popcorn in hand, and watch as they tear down the past with promises of a greener, cleaner future. Because if there’s anything more reliable than Shell’s commitment to the environment, it’s their knack for a good old-fashioned corporate rebrand.

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