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US Supreme Court Snubs Shell’s ‘Timeout’ Request in Coastal Caper

Posted by John Donovan: 9 November 2023

In the latest episode of ‘Oil Titans vs. The World’, the US Supreme Court, in its majestic indifference, has denied a pause to the legal theatrics of BP Plc and Shell Plc units. These plucky underdogs were just asking for a little breather before a Louisiana trial that could see them forking over billions for their alleged role in a coastal vanishing act.

It seems that the companies, in a display of courtroom gymnastics, tried to vault the case out of Cameron Parish, arguing that a fair trial there would be as elusive as an honest emissions report. Their plea? That every local juror is too personally and financially intertwined in the coastal loss saga to judge the case without bias. The audacity of the community for being affected by the issue at hand!

The high court, in its infinite wisdom, swatted down this bid faster than you can say “oil spill,” offering no comment or dissent. It’s as if they’re saying, “Let them eat cake, just not oil-soaked.”

And so, the stage is set for a November showdown, where BP America Production and Shell will take on the Parish of Cameron, Louisiana, in a courtroom drama that promises to have more twists than a pipeline.

As the oil giants stand with their legal gauntlets thrown, one can’t help but wonder: will they pump out a victory, or will justice, like the Louisiana coastline, erode away from their grasp? Stay tuned, folks. The gavel’s about to drop.

Shell is invited to point out for correction any factual inaccuracies.

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