Big Oil Plays Pretend: Phasing Out Fossil Fuels Deemed ‘Fantasy’ Amid Record Profits

Posted by John Donovan: 20 March 2024

In a dazzling display of corporate doublethink, oil moguls gathered in Houston, casually shrugging off any pretence of urgency in the face of the climate crisis. Despite John F. Kerry’s victory lap at the U.N. Climate Change Conference in Dubai, declaring a monumental shift away from fossil fuels, the lords of oil in Houston had a hearty laugh. “Missed the memo, John,” they seemed to say, before diving into their Scrooge McDuck-style money vaults.

Amin Nasser of Saudi Aramco led the charge, proclaiming to a room probably too well-lit and air-conditioned, “We should abandon the fantasy of phasing out oil and gas.” The applause that followed was likely as thunderous as the sound of glaciers calving into the ocean.

Not to be outdone, Shell CEO Wael Sawan chimed in with a prophecy: oil and gas will continue to play “an important role in stabilizing” the energy system, presumably in the same way a lead balloon stabilizes a flight. And Patrick Pouyanné of TotalEnergies, couldn’t contain his glee, pleased as punch that the Dubai deal acknowledged the need for “transition fuels.” Gas, he noted, with a twinkle in his eye, is one of them. Because nothing says “transition” like clinging to the very fuels causing the crisis.

Despite global efforts to shift to cleaner energy, these executives highlighted an inconvenient truth for climate advocates: oil demand is not just stable, it’s booming, baby. Utilities, data centers, and even the U.S. itself, now the poster child for oil production, are all guzzling down fossil fuels faster than a college freshman at their first party.

Big Oil’s investors are practically doing backflips, with ExxonMobil and Chevron posting their biggest annual profits in a decade. Because who cares about rising sea levels when your profits are soaring even higher, right?

Nasser boldly predicts that oil demand will hit new records, brushing off the International Energy Agency’s quaint notion that oil consumption might peak by 2030. “Cute theory,” he probably thought, before detailing his plans for oil domination.

Amidst this fossil fuel love fest, Biden’s climate team is squirming uncomfortably, trying to reconcile America’s oil bonanza with its climate commitments. Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm and climate adviser John Podesta offered tepid responses, clinging to hope like it’s a life raft in the oil-slick sea these executives are cheerfully navigating.

But it’s not all doom and gloom, folks. The oil bigwigs are reluctantly nodding towards Biden’s Inflation Reduction Act, which throws tax credits at carbon capture tech—a solution as reliable as a chocolate teapot but hey, it’s something. Exxon’s CEO Woods can barely contain his excitement, envisioning a future where oil companies can have their cake and eat it too, polluting with one hand while capturing carbon with the other.

As Houston and Dubai play tug-of-war with the planet’s future, the message is clear: the transition away from fossil fuels might be on the agenda, but Big Oil’s foot is firmly on the gas pedal. And as for the speed of this so-called transition? Let’s just say, don’t hold your breath—unless you’re standing near one of those oil refineries, of course.