Greta Thunberg Dodges the Slammer as Judge Gives Thumbs Down to Police Shenanigans at Oil Gala Protest

Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

In a plot twist worthy of a Hollywood blockbuster, Greta Thunberg and her band of eco-warriors were given a get-out-of-jail-free card by Westminster Magistrates’ Court today. Their crime? Daring to crash the fossil fuel fiesta known as the Energy Intelligence Forum, where oil magnates clinked their champagne glasses in glee. But alas, the Met Police played their part a tad too enthusiastically, slapping on ‘unlawful’ conditions faster than you can say “climate emergency.”

Our hero of the hour, 21-year-old Thunberg, hailing from the distant lands of Sweden, found herself in hot water during the ruckus outside the InterContinental Hotel in Mayfair, London. It was there, on October 17, amidst the luxurious setting, that oil execs gathered, presumably to toast to another year of blissful pollution.

Joining Thunberg in this environmental escapade were fellow outlaws: Greenpeace’s very own Jeff Rice, 57, from Nottinghamshire, and Peter Barker, 59, from Powys. Not to be outdone, Fossil Free London contributed its finest rebels, Lars Kebbon, 19, and Joshua Unwin, 32. Together, they formed a formidable front against the dark lords of fossil fuels.

As the day dawned, supporters wielding banners with slogans like ‘Make Polluters Pay’ gathered outside the court, showcasing placards of fossil fuel fiends, including Shell’s CEO Wael Sawan, with a loving message: ‘the real climate criminals’. Indeed, a more accurate casting call you’d be hard-pressed to find.

In a delightful turn of events, District Judge John Law showed that not all heroes wear capes (some wear robes) by tossing out the public order charge against our intrepid protesters. It seems the Met’s attempt at crowd control was about as well-conceived as an oil spill cleanup plan by the very companies being protested.

And so, with a flick of the judicial wrist, Thunberg and her merry band of environmentalists were cleared of all charges, free to sail back into the sunset or, more likely, to the next climate skirmish. As for the oil execs, one imagines they scurried back to their drawing boards, plotting their next move in this never-ending game of cat and mouse. But for now, the score reads: Planet 1, Polluters 0.

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