Shell’s New UK Boss: A Master of Environmental Destruction!

Posted by John Donovan 4 May 2024

In an eyebrow-raising move that could only be described as a masterpiece in corporate irony, Shell, the paragon of environmental negligence, has proudly appointed Parminder Kohli as its new UK country chair. Who better to lead a company infamous for its ruthless exploitation of natural resources than someone entrenched in its culture of profit-over-planet?

Replacing David Bunch, Kohli steps into the limelight, not only as the new head honcho but also as the champion of sustainability and carbon reduction. A bit like putting a fox in charge of the henhouse, if the fox claimed it was there to promote vegetarianism.

With all the self-awareness of a boulder hurtling downhill, Shell proudly boasts Kohli’s over 20 years of service, conveniently omitting the fact that during his tenure, the company has made ecological damage an art form. From refining to chemicals to mobility, Kohli has left his mark on many facets of Shell’s operation, ensuring that their carbon footprint resembles more of a carbon crater.

And let’s not forget his current role as head of lubricants in the EMEA region. When you think of environmental stewardship, you naturally think of someone slickly greasing the wheels of industry, all while turning a blind eye to the ecological wreckage left in their wake.

So, here’s to Parminder Kohli, the newest face of Shell’s environmental facade. Because if there’s one thing Shell knows, it’s how to spin a tale of sustainability while merrily profiting off the planet’s demise. 

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