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Wael Sawan

Shell’s Former Big Cheese Bags £95m

Mar 20th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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In an astounding turn of events that shocked no one, Shell’s ex-bigwig, Ben van Beurden (left), managed to stuff his pockets with an extra £8.9 million last year, elevating his total take from the oil giant to a modest £95 million. Who said being an eco-villain doesn’t pay well?

In a spectacle of financial gymnastics that would make even Scrooge McDuck blush, a hefty long-term bonus and a golden parachute (sorry, “severance award”) ensured that van Beurden out-earned his successor, Wael Sawan, who had to scrape by on a mere £7.9 million. One can only imagine the penny-pinching at the Sawan household.

Before passing the torch (or should we say oil lamp?) to Sawan, van Beurden amassed a fortune of £86 million, proving that oil really does grease the wheels of personal fortune. Not content with just riding off into the sunset, van Beurden stuck around as an “adviser” for six months, during which he pocketed a £5.1 million long-term bonus and a £1.4 million consolation prize for “loss of office.” Because, clearly, losing an office that pays you in millions is a loss worth compensating. read more

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Shell’s Climate Ambitions Take a Dive as It Clings to Fossil Fuels

Mar 20th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan 20 March 2024

In a stunning display of environmental apathy that could only be outdone by a Bond villain, Shell has boldly announced, “Screw it, we’re sticking with fossil fuels,” effectively giving the middle finger to the planet.

Yes, dear readers, the energy behemoth decided that its green ambitions were just too… ambitious, scaling back its carbon reduction goal for 2030 and completely ghosting any further targets for 2035. It’s like they’re trying to win an award for “Least Effort Made by a Multinational Corporation.”

Under the visionary leadership of Wael Sawan—who apparently took the helm last year with a mission to redefine the term ‘net zero’ to mean ‘net… zero changes to our fossil fuel dependency’—Shell has rationalized its decision with the classic “but renewable energy investments aren’t happening fast enough” excuse. Meanwhile, environmental campaigners are left scratching their heads, wondering if Shell is actually just a group of oil-addicted time travelers from the 1950s. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Plays Hot Potato with Solar Assets: A Tale of Strategic ‘Enlightenment’

Feb 29th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 29 Feb 24

In an astonishing turn of events that will surely leave us all basking in the warm glow of irony, Shell, the poster child for fossil fuel philanthropy, has decided to play a round of hot potato with approximately a quarter of its US solar business, Savion. That’s right, folks, the same company that’s been drilling its way into our hearts (and the planet) is now making a strategic pivot so bold, it might just qualify for an Olympic gymnastics routine. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Latest Magic Trick: A ‘Climate Tech’ Mirage With an Oil-Stained Rabbit

Feb 26th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 26 Feb 24

Well, buckle up, eco-warriors and climate change aficionados, for the latest episode of “How to Paint Your Carbon Footprint Green,” starring none other than Shell, the behemoth of black gold, in its newest role as a green wizard! In a dazzling display of environmental sleight of hand, Shell has pulled a rabbit out of its oily hat with the launch of Onward, a ‘climate tech’ startup. Brace yourselves for a journey into the future of clean energy, as envisioned by the very architects of our current fossil-fueled predicament. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell CEO Cries Over Biden’s LNG Timeout, Fears for Big Oil’s Fragile Confidence

Feb 4th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 4 Feb 24

Oh, the horror, the absolute tragedy! Shell’s CEO, Wael Sawan, has sounded the alarm bells, folks. It seems that President Joe Biden’s audacious pause on approvals for new liquefied natural gas (LNG) export terminals is causing a bit of a kerfuffle among the oil elites. Sawan, leading the charge with a violin so small you’d need a microscope to see it, warns that this move will “erode confidence” in the sacred halls of the fossil fuel industry, that bastion of stability in our ever-changing world. read more

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Shell Throws a Billion-Dollar Bash as the Planet Heats Up, While Greenpeace Crashes the Party

Feb 3rd, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Greenpeace photo…

Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

In an epic saga that could only be described as “The Great Gatsby” meets “Mad Max,” Shell, the notorious climate party pooper, has once again danced its way into the headlines.

This time, the British behemoth announced a whopping £22.4 billion in annual profits, all while Greenpeace activists, dressed in their finest mock-Shell board member attire, threw a rager outside Shell HQ, complete with a burning sign aptly named ‘Your Future.’

Yes, dear reader, as the world simmered under record global temperatures, Shell was busy counting its coins, proving once again that while Rome burns, the emperors are having a blast. The eco-warriors, not ones to miss a beat, decided if you can’t beat them, throw a better party. So, they necked champagne, fanned wads of cash, and danced the conga around the blazing truth that Shell seems all too eager to ignore. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Greta Thunberg Dodges the Slammer as Judge Gives Thumbs Down to Police Shenanigans at Oil Gala Protest

Feb 3rd, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

In a plot twist worthy of a Hollywood blockbuster, Greta Thunberg and her band of eco-warriors were given a get-out-of-jail-free card by Westminster Magistrates’ Court today. Their crime? Daring to crash the fossil fuel fiesta known as the Energy Intelligence Forum, where oil magnates clinked their champagne glasses in glee. But alas, the Met Police played their part a tad too enthusiastically, slapping on ‘unlawful’ conditions faster than you can say “climate emergency.” read more

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Shell’s CEO Sawan Laments Over US LNG Drama While Cashing in Billions

Feb 3rd, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

In a twist that no one saw coming, Shell’s CEO Wael Sawan has spilled the tea on the latest soap opera in the LNG world, where Uncle Sam’s liquefied natural gas (LNG) sector is apparently losing its sparkle. This revelation came hot off the press during Shell’s glitzy earnings call, where Sawan played the part of a concerned corporate citizen worried about the “reliability” of American LNG, amidst a backdrop of legal tiffs and paused plant approvals. “I won’t get into the details of the legal proceedings,” he teased, leaving us all on the edge of our seats for the next episode. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Strikes It Rich in LNG Lottery While Tossing Crumbs of Greenery to the Masses

Feb 3rd, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

Once upon a time, Shell, the oil behemoth with a soft spot for environmental exploitation, threw down a whopping $70 billion to snatch up the British gas company BG Group. This wasn’t just your average mega-corporation hoarding; no, this was Shell’s grand pivot to become a titan in the liquefied natural gas (LNG) arena. Until then, their portfolio was just your run-of-the-mill pipeline gas and, of course, our planet’s lifeblood – oil.

The big bet? LNG could be the golden ticket. Europe was giving Russian gas the cold shoulder, and for everyone else, LNG was like a trendy detox diet for their energy consumption – not quite the green smoothie of wind and solar, but hey, it was something. Shell theorized that because natural gas throws fewer tantrums than oil, we could still pat ourselves on the back for fighting climate change. read more

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Shell Throws Cash Fiesta for Shareholders as Profits Take a ‘Modest’ Dip

Feb 1st, 2024
by John Donovan.
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“As we enter 2024, we are continuing to simplify our organization with a focus on delivering more value with less emissions,” proclaimed Wael Sawan, Shell’s chief executive, presumably with a straight face.

Posted by John Donovan: 1 Feb 24

In the latest saga of “Billionaires at Play,” Shell, the oil behemoth with a heart of coal, has graciously announced a titanic profit of only $28.2 billion for 2023, a tear-jerking decrease from its 2022 high of $39.9 billion. Cue the violins, as this marks a somber moment in Shell’s 115-year history of environmental philanthropy.

As oil and gas prices took a nap last year, Shell’s profits decided to join them, resulting in a mere $7.3 billion in the last quarter, a figure that somehow still managed to exceed the low expectations of analysts. “As we enter 2024, we are continuing to simplify our organization with a focus on delivering more value with less emissions,” proclaimed Wael Sawan, Shell’s chief executive, presumably with a straight face. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Plays Green Dress-Up for Shareholders While Profits Take a Dive

Jan 31st, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Let’s make money while pretending we care about the planet.

Posted by John Donovan: 31 Jan 24

Ladies and gentlemen, gather ’round for the latest episode of “Shell’s Green Masquerade.” While Shell has been playing the quiet game, BP’s former finance boss-turned-chief executive, Murray Auchincloss, has been hogging the spotlight. But fear not, Shell hasn’t been napping. They’ve been laser-focused on the most important thing in the universe: shareholder returns.

In a heartwarming message to analysts last June, Shell reassured everyone, “We need to continue to create profitable business models that can be scaled at pace to truly impact the de-carbonisation of the global energy system.” Translation: Let’s make money while pretending we care about the planet. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Job Cutting Spree

Jan 18th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Shell’s Job Cutting Spree

Posted by John Donovan: 18 Jan 24

In a move that’s less about saving the planet and more about saving pennies, Shell Plc has kicked off a spree of job cuts. And guess what? The low-carbon solutions unit is first in line! Because who needs a greener future when you can have a leaner payroll, right?

Sources spilling the beans to Bloomberg revealed that Shell is on a mission to ‘create more value through simplification and discipline.’ Translation: ‘Let’s chop jobs to boost our bottom line.’ The low-carbon business folks are getting their marching orders first, with the corporate affairs division and project and technology departments soon to join the unemployment queue. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s AGM: Shareholders Demand Climate Action, Shell Prefers Business as Usual

Jan 17th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 17 Jan 24

Once upon a time, in the magical world of Big Oil, Shell faced a rebellion not from environmentalists, but from its own shareholders. Yes, you heard it right! The company known for its gentle, loving embrace of the environment is being asked by its investors, including the UK’s biggest pension scheme, to set bigger emissions targets. It’s like asking a dragon to be vegan, but hey, miracles can happen!

Twenty-seven investors, clearly in a moment of climate-conscious epiphany, have backed a resolution by the daring Dutch activists at Follow This. Their mission? To get Shell to align with the Paris Agreement. Mark van Baal, founder of Follow This, must feel like David facing Goliath, except this Goliath wears a suit and loves oil more than cookies. read more

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Shell’s CEO Ponders Joining the Fossil Fuel Fiesta in the U.S.

Jan 5th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 6 Jan 24

Wael Sawan, the CEO of Shell, a corporation worth a whopping $214 billion, seems to be eagerly warming the bench as he watches Exxon Mobil and Chevron have all the fun in the Permian, a hotspot for oil that’s as profitable as it is controversial. In 2024, Sawan faces a thrilling dilemma: let his U.S. rivals hog all the glory or jump back into the oil bonanza himself, turning his back on that pesky renewable energy trend.

Rewinding to 2021, when green pressures were all the rage, Sawan’s predecessor, Ben van Beurden, was coaxed into selling assets in the Permian. But fast forward to the present, where the Ukraine war has conveniently dampened Shell’s enthusiasm for reducing oil output. Sawan, playing it cool, has also slyly dropped most of those green targets, and guess what? Investors are loving it. Since Sawan took the helm in 2023, Shell’s stock has soared by 15%, leaving U.S. and European rivals eating its dust. Meanwhile, BP, which took the high road away from oil, is barely keeping pace amid its CEO-hunting saga. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Generous Holiday Gift to Employees: More Time Off… Permanently

Dec 23rd, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Shell promises to keep evaluating and tweaking, like a Grinch counting his stolen Christmas presents.

In a move that screams ‘corporate compassion’, Shell plc, the ever-so-environmentally-conscious oil baron, has decided to hand out a special Christmas present to its employees: job cuts! As per Bloomberg’s latest whispers, Shell is extending its season of giving beyond the previously announced ‘trimming’ within its low-carbon division, part of a grand plan to stuff up to $3 billion in savings into its stocking by the end of 2025.

But fear not! This Yuletide cleaving isn’t a willy-nilly affair. It’s a meticulously planned division-by-division game of corporate Jenga, where employees get to play ‘Will I Stay or Will I Go?’ complete with options like redundancy packages or a fun, company-wide game of musical chairs for other roles. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Cost-Cutting Extravaganza: Because Who Needs Jobs in a Low-Carbon Division Anyway?

Dec 21st, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 21 Dec 2023

In a dazzling display of corporate acrobatics, Shell Plc is now playing a thrilling game of ‘musical chairs’ with its employees’ jobs. Under the leadership of Chief Executive Officer Wael Sawan, Shell is not just trimming the fat; they’re going full keto on their workforce.

Sawan, who apparently moonlights as a ruthless efficiency wizard, is gallantly leading the charge to make Shell as lean as a starved chameleon, blending seamlessly with U.S. rivals in the corporate jungle. The plan? Wave goodbye to more jobs.

The method is simple and elegant: eliminate roles division-by-division, serving up a smorgasbord of redundancy packages, or the chance to play job roulette elsewhere in the company. Shell, in a stroke of modesty, declines to comment on the number of jobs at stake. After all, who’s counting when you’re on a mission to slash “structural costs” by a cool $3 billion by the end of 2025? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
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