Shell’s Latest Offshore Gas Grab: Australia Bows to Big Oil’s Demands Yet Again

Prelude FLNG itself has been a spectacularly unreliable disaster, shutting down multiple times due to safety and operational failures. 

Shell. The shining beacon of corporate responsibility. The ethical North Star of the energy sector. The company that never—ever—puts profit over people, the planet, or basic decency. And now, thanks to the ever-accommodating Australian government, this benevolent titan has been given the go-ahead to unleash yet another offshore gas project. Because if there’s one thing the world desperately needs in 2025, it’s more fossil fuel infrastructure!

Shell Australia—the local arm of the UK-based money-printing empire—has been handed the regulatory stamp of approval by none other than the National Offshore Petroleum Safety and Environmental Management Authority (NOPSEMA). This means Shell can now plow ahead with its “Crux” development (oh, the irony), a massive offshore natural gas project in the northern Browse Basin, 190 kilometers off the northwest Australian coast. Given that Shell’s track record on environmental stewardship is as spotless as an oil-soaked pelican, what could possibly go wrong?

A Masterclass in Corporate Greenwashing

The Crux project, first sanctioned in May 2022, is being developed by a joint venture led by Shell Australia, with a little help from SGH Energy. And if you’re wondering whether this venture will be a shining example of environmental responsibility, let’s just say that the last time Shell made the world a cleaner place, it was probably by accident.

Shell’s environmental plan (EP) allows for the installation of pipelines, substructures, topsides, and all those other delightful bits and pieces that will help extract yet more fossil fuels from the seabed. But don’t worry! Shell has graciously designed this infrastructure to “minimize the need for inspection or intervention,” which is corporate-speak for: We’d rather not check for problems unless something blows up. Of course, the company acknowledges that events like cyclones or interference from those pesky third parties (like, say, people who care about the planet) might require a bit of maintenance.

Drilling Down on the Details

Shell plans to drill five wells to start with, remotely operating the whole thing from its Prelude floating liquefied natural gas (FLNG) facility. If you’re wondering how much gas they’ll be pulling up, the answer is a lot: up to 550 million standard cubic feet per day. That’s a whole lot of carbon emissions waiting to happen! And let’s not forget that Prelude FLNG itself has been a spectacularly unreliable disaster, shutting down multiple times due to—you guessed it—safety and operational failures. Nothing says “environmentally sound” like an accident-prone gas processing facility, right?

But fear not! Shell has everything under control. Their plan includes a staged preservation period, meaning once they’ve installed all their lovely fossil fuel extraction toys, they’ll leave them in a “preserved state” for up to two years before cranking up the gas faucet. Because what’s more responsible than setting up infrastructure and then leaving it there just waiting for a catastrophe?

Ah, But the Investors Love It!

And who, exactly, is cheering on this festival of extraction? Oh, just some of the most ethical, planet-loving investors you can imagine. Take BlackRock, for example—the world’s largest asset manager, which somehow manages to talk a big game about ESG (environmental, social, and governance) investing while holding a massive stake in Shell. Or Vanguard, which also has its fingers in the pie. These institutions love to pretend they care about climate change, but let’s be real: as long as the dividends flow, so does the oil.

Shell’s Legacy: Pollution, Profit, and PR Spin

Shell, ever the master of spin, will undoubtedly trumpet this project as a win for energy security, economic growth, and possibly even the environment (because nothing says green like offshore drilling). But let’s not kid ourselves: this is yet another case of a corporate juggernaut raking in obscene profits while handing the long-term environmental bill to, well, everyone else.

So congratulations, Australia! You’ve once again given Shell exactly what it wanted: carte blanche to drill, extract, and profit, while the world hurtles toward climate catastrophe. And to Shell’s investors—BlackRock, Vanguard, and all the other climate-conscious hypocrites—bravo! You’ll be laughing all the way to the bank while the rest of us are left choking on your emissions.

What a time to be alive!

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