Shell & Friends: The Carbon Kings Laughing Their Way to Climate Collapse

Shell & Friends Are Holding the Planet Hostage

You know the world is in trouble when just 36 fossil fuel companies—led by the usual suspects, like Shell, ExxonMobil, and Saudi Aramco—are responsible for half of the planet’s carbon emissions in 2023. That’s 20 billion tonnes of CO₂ in a single year, because apparently, making obscene amounts of money off the destruction of the planet is a team sport.

The Science vs. Shell’s Business Model (Guess Who’s Winning?)

Reality check: Global emissions need to fall by 45% by 2030 to even have a chance of keeping temperature rise below 1.5°C. Instead? Emissions are still rising, because these companies refuse to stop sucking every last drop of oil, gas, and coal out of the Earth. The International Energy Agency has flat-out stated that any new fossil fuel projects launched after 2021 are incompatible with reaching net zero by 2050. But Shell? Oh no, they’re still expanding production while paying lip service to “green energy” in their PR statements.

Christiana Figueres, one of the architects of the 2015 Paris Agreement, isn’t having it: “These companies are keeping the world hooked on fossil fuels with no plans to slow production. The science is clear: we cannot move backwards to more fossil fuels and more extraction.” But for Shell, Exxon, and BP, science is just a pesky little obstacle on the way to their next billion-dollar quarterly earnings report.

Shell’s Response: “Trust Us, We Care (No, Really!)”

When confronted with the ugly reality of their planet-choking business model, Shell’s response was chef’s kisspredictable:

“Shell is committed to becoming a net-zero emissions energy business by 2050. Our investments in new technologies are helping to reduce emissions for Shell and our customers.”

Translation? Blah, blah, blah, greenwashing, blah, blah, PR spin. Meanwhile, Shell’s real focus is on doubling down on fossil fuels, because let’s be real—the investors at BlackRock and Vanguard aren’t throwing money at wind turbines when there’s oil left to drill.

Carbon Majors Report: The Ultimate Rap Sheet for Fossil Fuel Crimes

The Carbon Majors report isn’t just another climate study—it’s a corporate crime scene analysis. This dataset has already been used as evidence in U.S. lawsuits—New York and Vermont are now suing oil companies for climate damages. Legal groups are even eyeing criminal charges against fossil fuel executives (yes, please!). Meanwhile, ClientEarth is coming after BlackRock, accusing the investment giant of misleading investors by pretending it cares about sustainability while still funneling cash into Shell and Exxon.

Fossil Fuels: A Global Cartel of Climate Destruction

Of the 36 worst-polluting companies, 25 are state-owned, with 10 based in China alone. The rest? Your standard oil barons—Brazil’s Petrobras, Italy’s Eni, and of course, the usual Big Oil giants in the U.S. and Europe.

Coal is still the worst offender, accounting for 41% of 2023 emissions, followed by oil at 32%, gas at 23%, and cement at 4%. (Yes, even cement is complicit.)

The historical numbers are even more damning: two-thirds of all fossil fuel emissions since the Industrial Revolutioncome from just 180 companies—11 of which no longer exist (because apparently, wrecking the planet is an excellent retirement plan).

Governments: Stop Coddling These Carbon Criminals

Kumi Naidoo of the Fossil Fuel Non-Proliferation Treaty Initiative nailed it:

“We are living at a critical moment in human history. It is essential that governments step up and use their authority to end the root cause of the crisis we find ourselves in: the expansion of fossil fuels.”

But here’s the problem: governments aren’t stepping up. Instead, they’re still handing out subsidies, bending over for lobbyists, and allowing Shell & Co. to greenwash their way out of accountability. The only thing these corporations understand is profit, so until they start bleeding money, they’ll keep pumping oil, lobbying against renewables, and pretending their sustainability reports aren’t pure fiction.

Bottom Line: Shell & Friends Are Holding the Planet Hostage

Shell, Exxon, and the rest of Big Oil aren’t just fossil fuel companies—they are climate supervillains in tailored suits. They know exactly what they’re doing. They see the floods, the wildfires, the heatwaves, and they keep drilling anyway.Why? Because destroying the planet is still wildly profitable—at least, until governments grow a spine and start holding them accountable.

Until then, expect more climate disasters, more corporate PR nonsense, and more record-breaking profits for the world’s most toxic industry.

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