Posted By John Donovan: 9 Sept 2024
Oh look, Shell is back at it again, doing what they do best—burning through fossil fuels and slapping a charitable sticker on it to make everyone feel warm and fuzzy inside. Yes, folks, “The Giving Pump” has returned for another round, running from September 1 through October 31 at nearly 7,500 Shell stations across the U.S. Because what better way to ease your guilt about climate change than by filling up at a sin stock gas station and pretending you’re contributing to something noble?
Here’s the deal: a portion of the profits from every gallon pumped at these specially designated purple pumps will go to children’s and family-focused charities. Don’t get too excited, though—they haven’t exactly said how much of your purchase actually goes to charity. But hey, why bother with details when you can just throw some purple paint on a pump and call yourself a Force For Good?
Senior VP at Shell, Barbara Stoyko, proudly gushed, “The Giving Pump is an easy and impactful way for customers to give back through the simple act of filling up their vehicles.” Right, because nothing says “impactful” quite like burning more fossil fuels while tossing a few pennies to charity. It’s basically the corporate equivalent of dropping a dollar into a tip jar while burning down the coffee shop.
EBOOK TITLE: “SIR HENRI DETERDING AND THE NAZI HISTORY OF ROYAL DUTCH SHELL” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
EBOOK TITLE: “JOHN DONOVAN, SHELL’S NIGHTMARE: MY EPIC FEUD WITH THE UNSCRUPULOUS OIL GIANT ROYAL DUTCH SHELL” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
EBOOK TITLE: “TOXIC FACTS ABOUT SHELL REMOVED FROM WIKIPEDIA: HOW SHELL BECAME THE MOST HATED BRAND IN THE WORLD” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
