WTF Shell? The Oil Giant’s Twisted Tango with Nigeria

Posted by John Donovan: 20 Dec 2024

Once again, Shell, the paragon of corporate ruthlessness and environmental degradation, proves there’s no mess too big to sweep under a rug made of oil-stained dollar bills. The Anglo-Dutch juggernaut, whose rap sheet includes everything from massive spills to good old-fashioned espionage through shadowy outfits like Hakluyt & Co., has pulled off another jaw-dropping manoeuvre in Nigeria.

Here’s the skinny: Shell just tied a shiny $5 billion investment in Nigeria’s offshore Bonga North project to the government greenlighting their exit from onshore oil operations in the Niger Delta—a region they’ve poisoned for decades. Bravo, Shell! Nothing screams corporate responsibility like strong-arming a country desperate for foreign investment.

But let’s not forget what this exit really means. Shell’s onshore adventures in the Niger Delta have been a 68-year-long catastrophe. Rivers turned into sludge pits, farmland rendered useless, and communities plunged into poverty—all courtesy of Shell’s oil spills and flaring. Oh, and let’s not skip over the lawsuits they’ve faced. In 2008, Shell’s pipelines belched out nearly 600,000 barrels of crude into the environment. Sure, they paid $80 million in compensation—pocket change compared to their profits—but can you really put a price tag on ecological collapse? Apparently, Shell thinks so.

Now they’re palming off their mess to Renaissance Africa Energy, a local consortium that Nigerian regulators rightly questioned for lacking the funds to clean up Shell’s toxic legacy. But hey, who needs details like cleanup costs when you’ve got a government itching to keep the foreign cash flowing? Tinubu’s administration practically rolled out the red carpet for Shell, despite civil society groups begging him to reject the deal, warning it would “jeopardize the environmental and social wellbeing” of the Niger Delta.

Of course, Shell declined to comment on the cosy backroom quid pro quo between their deepwater investment and this controversial approval. And why would they? They’ve been playing this game for decades, mastering the art of profit over people. Meanwhile, Renaissance’s silence is deafening, and the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, Shell’s partner in environmental crime, has little incentive to address the chaos left behind.

And let’s not forget the big players who prop up Shell’s house of cards. Investors like BlackRock and Vanguard, who pride themselves on “responsible investing,” are happily pocketing dividends from a company that has made environmental destruction and human suffering its business model. Responsible? Sure, if your definition of responsibility is betting on the ultimate sin stock.

Shell’s “exit” from the Niger Delta is nothing more than a PR smokescreen. They’re washing their hands of onshore oil while doubling down on deepwater drilling and LNG projects in Nigeria, shifting the ecological risk further out to sea and out of sight.

The real kicker? Shell’s onshore atrocities aren’t going away. They’ll haunt the Niger Delta for generations, and the so-called cleanup will probably become another scandal when Renaissance inevitably struggles to foot the bill. But hey, Shell’s pockets are full, and their shareholders are happy. What the fuck more could they want?

So here’s to Shell—the greedy, ruthless, polluting oil giant that always finds a way to make a bad situation worse. Corporate “responsibility” never looked so slimy.

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