Slashing Jobs, Destroying the Planet, and Laughing All the Way to the Bank

Posted by John Donovan: 16 January 25

Ah, good old Shell, the absolute paragon of corporate virtue—if “virtue” means ruthlessly exploiting the planet, trampling workers, and bending over backwards to ensure its investors keep cashing in on destruction. And who might those investors be? Oh, just the likes of BlackRock, Vanguard, and State Street—because nothing screams “commitment to sustainability” quite like stuffing their pockets with profits from an oil-slicked death spiral.

While BP is out here making headlines for slashing over 5% of its workforce (a cool 4,700 employees plus another 3,000 contractors, for those keeping count), Shell isn’t exactly a bystander in the great corporate bloodletting. CEO Wael Sawan, in his infinite wisdom, has also been wielding the axe, gleefully hacking away at jobs under the guise of “cost-cutting.” Because when you’re raking in record profits, the best way to celebrate is by kicking thousands of people to the curb.

Of course, BP’s CEO Murray Auchincloss wants us to believe this is all part of a noble effort to “rebuild investor confidence.” You see when a company that made billions in profit starts haemorrhaging workers, it’s not a sign of brutal corporate greed—it’s “strong progress.”

Auchincloss even reassures the peasants—I mean, employees—that “we have got more we need to do through this year, next year and beyond.” Translation? Buckle up, because the slaughter isn’t over yet. BP’s strategy of offshoring jobs to Hungary, India, and Malaysia is just another notch on the belt of bottom-line-driven brilliance.

But let’s not forget Shell’s role in this corporate dystopia. Under the reign of Wael “Let’s Keep It Flowing” Sawan, Shell has been trimming jobs faster than an oil spill spreads across the ocean. A 20% reduction in its oil and gas exploration division? Check. Cuts to its low-carbon division? Double check. Because who needs to pretend to care about the future when shareholders are thirsty for dividends?

And boy, are they getting them. Unlike BP, which is down over 5%, Shell’s stock has soared 5.5% over the past year, proving once again that destroying the environment and gutting jobs is an incredibly lucrative business model. Exxon Mobil, another champion of ethical bankruptcy, has seen an even juicier 14% gain.

Meanwhile, Auchincloss is busy undoing the sins of his predecessor Bernard Looney, who dared to suggest BP might pivot away from fossil fuels (at least on paper). The new plan? Dive headfirst back into oil and gas while pretending to care about renewables just enough to keep up appearances. That offshore wind deal with Japanese power giant JERA? A nice little PR stunt while the real money keeps pumping from the ground.

But hey, let’s be real. BP and Shell aren’t here to save the planet. They’re here to bleed it dry, one barrel at a time. And with deep-pocketed investors like BlackRock cheering them on, why stop now?

So, if you’re wondering what the future holds, just know this: the job cuts will continue, the oil will keep flowing, and the planet will keep burning—all while Shell, BP, and their Wall Street overlords laugh their way to the bank.

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