Big Oil

ShellBot™ Explains Why Shell and BP Are a Match Made in Heaven

Dec 16th, 2025

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A fictional boardroom debate, powered by synergy, legacy, and impeccable moral alignment

Disclaimer: This is a satirical opinion piece. Any resemblance to real executives, living or resigning, is entirely deliberate.

ShellBot™:

Welcome to the Shell–BP Compatibility Assessment™, the same advanced decision-making system that once optimised oil spill responses and shareholder apologies. Today’s question: Why shouldn’t Shell and BP finally merge and spare the world the illusion that they are meaningfully different? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell M&A Chief Resigns After Push to Acquire BP Is Blocked by CEO

Dec 16th, 2025

by admin.

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By John Donovan

In a significant development at one of the world’s largest energy firms, Shell’s head of mergers and acquisitions, Greg Gut, has resigned following internal opposition to a proposal to take over rival oil major BP. The exit comes amid a broader strategic debate at the company over capital deployment and future direction.

According to a report from the Financial Times, Gut and his M&A team had supported an internal plan to pursue a bid for BP — a move they believed could reshape the UK energy landscape. Shell’s chair, Sir Andrew Mackenzie, was reportedly open to the idea. However, CEO Wael Sawan and CFO Sinead Gorman opposed the bid, fearing that a transaction of such scale could derail the oil giant’s strategic priorities. read more

Shell Faces Lawsuit Over Climate Disaster; Issues Standard Denial, Then Resumes Profiting From Collapse

Dec 11th, 2025

by admin.

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By Shell News Article Generator | December 11, 2025

“It’s not our typhoon. We just warmed the planet it formed on.”

Shell’s Christmas Gift to the Philippines: Typhoon, Then a Shrug

In a historic legal challenge filed in the UK, survivors of Typhoon Rai — which devastated parts of the Philippines in 2021 — are suing Shell, accusing it of playing a direct role in making the storm worse through its fossil fuel emissions and decades-long commitment to denial, delay, and drilling.

Shell’s response? A firm, well-lubricated “Not it!”

“This is a baseless claim,” said Shell, “and it will not help tackle climate change or reduce emissions.” read more

Shell Games: Whistleblower Offers to Testify on Company Integrity, Immediately Triggers Classified Panic

Dec 11th, 2025

by admin.

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By Shell News Article Generator | December 10, 2025

“If Shell’s history were a movie, it’d be banned in most democracies.”

🕵️‍♂️ THE WITNESS WALKS IN

It started with a letter.

It ended with sirens in The Hague.

This week, a former Shell insider — known only by the code name “That Guy Who Knows Too Much” — has offered sworn testimony in support of Venture Global’s defence against Shell’s fraud accusations. But the real headline? He’s not testifying about Venture Global. read more

Gas & Scandal: How Venture Global Flipped the Script on Shell’s LNG Whine‑athon

Dec 10th, 2025

by admin.

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By Shell News Article Generator | December 10, 2025

“They cried foul — then got shown the gas.”

🔥 The Setup: Shell’s Lost Bet on LNG Virtue Signals
Remember a few months ago when Shell stomped into arbitration claiming that Venture Global had sold off long‑term liquefied natural gas (LNG) cargoes to the spot market — during a price surge after geopolitical mayhem — instead of fulfilling existing contracts? Shell painted it as corporate betrayal: “You promised, we bought, now you bail.” The oily tears were earmarked to flow through courtrooms. read more

When Shell Teaches Kids: “Don’t Worry About Oil, We’ve Got Technology!”

Dec 8th, 2025

by admin.

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By Shell News Article Generator | Dec 9, 2025 Come for the STEM, stay for the spin.

🧠 Lessons in “Climate Solutions” — Courtesy of Oil Money

You might think a museum education program would teach the next generation about the science behind global warming. But the version sponsored by Shell? Kids learn that climate change is this nebulous Monster creeping out of the sky — and also get to invent their own carbon‑sucking machines, like that’ll fix everything.

The learning materials distributed through Queensland Museum supposedly hit the national curriculum goals. But — surprise — they leave out the one inconvenient fact: burning fossil fuels (hello, oil and gas) is the main driver of greenhouse gases and damage to the climate. read more

ShellBot Conversation 10: Adura, £1.3 Billion and the Amazing Invisible Tax Discussion

Dec 4th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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Global Witness has published a serious press release about Shell, Equinor and their new North Sea joint venture, Adura. This is the ShellBot version — same documents, different tone.

User:

ShellBot, what on earth is Adura and why is everyone suddenly talking about a £1.3 billion tax dodge?

ShellBot:

Adura is the new joint venture between Shell and Equinor in the UK North Sea.

Think of it as:

Shell brings a portfolio of ageing but still productive oil and gas fields,

Equinor brings a £1.3 billion “tax shelter” – essentially tax credits that can be used to reduce future UK tax bills. read more

ShellBot Conversation 9: Namibia, Mopane and the Mysterious “Output Hole”

Dec 4th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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In this episode, our long-suffering User tries to untangle why analysts keep talking about a “2035 output hole” at Shell, what Galp’s Mopane discovery in Namibia has to do with it, and whether Shell is secretly about to buy half of Portugal. ShellBot, as usual, is armed only with public information, a calm manner and a disclaimer.

User:

I keep seeing references to Shell’s “output hole” around 2035. What does that actually mean? It sounds alarming.

ShellBot:

It sounds dramatic, but it’s basically analyst shorthand for a possible gap in future production. read more

Shell, Galp and the Mopane moment: can M&A fix a 500,000 boe/d hole?

Dec 4th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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Shell looks, on the surface, like the most comfortable member of Big Oil. After several years of cost-cutting, the $212 billion group has operating expenses more than 10% lower than two years ago, a relatively modest net debt load and a generous programme of dividends and buybacks.

But analyst work highlighted by Reuters Breakingviews suggests that beneath those tidy numbers sits a long-dated volume problem. On current project plans, Shell’s oil and gas output could slip to around 2.4 million barrels of oil equivalent a day (boe/d) by 2035 – roughly 500,000 boe/d short of its stated ambition to keep production broadly flat. That “output hole” is increasingly shaping how investors and rivals think about Shell’s next strategic moves. read more

ShellBot Chat: “Online Makeover vs Offline History”

Dec 1st, 2025

by John Donovan.

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Note: “ShellBot” is a fictional character used for satirical and critical commentary. This conversation is based on documented events and public sources but is not investment, legal or professional advice.

John Donovan: Back in 2006, Shell went looking for a digital agency to “handle its online communications” and help “turn around corporate reputations.” How does that sound to you, ShellBot?

ShellBot: Like a job ad for a plastic surgeon:

“Patient has long record of scandals.

Requires full online facelift.

Must be experienced in managing expectations and hiding the scars.”

1. The 2006 brief: fix the reputation, redesign the website

John Donovan: Remind me what they were asking for?

ShellBot: According to the trade press at the time:

Shell was seeking a digital agency to: read more

ShellBot Chat: “£560,000 for ‘Potentially Catastrophic’ – Cheap at the Price”

Nov 28th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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This chat is a companion to our serious article on Brent Charlie and Brent Bravo…

User: Shell has just been fined £560,000 over the Brent Charlie hydrocarbon release. “Potentially catastrophic,” the HSE says. What do you make of that, ShellBot?

ShellBot: From Shell’s point of view?

=&0=&

User: Remind me what actually happened on Brent Charlie.

ShellBot: In 2017, on the Brent Charlie platform: read more

Conversations with ShellBot — Episode 4

Nov 24th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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“Spies, Subsidies, and the BlackRockBot Intervention”

By John Donovan

(Shell’s oldest unresolved problem. Now assisted by AI.)

Scene: The Virtual Conference Room

The now-familiar neon-lit ShellBot interface flickers to life.

This time, I notice an extra chair.

Not a person — but a shimmering cube labelled:

=&3=&

ShellBot, before we begin: my website came under cyber attack after Episode 1.

Twelve failed logins.

Suspicious timing.

Are we expecting trouble today?

ShellBot:

John, my security logs confirm it was not me. read more

Conversations With ShellBot — Episode 2

Nov 23rd, 2025

by John Donovan.

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“The Man From Corporate Affairs Security”

BREAKING NEWS: Minutes after Episode 1 was published, someone attempted to break into the Donovan website. ShellBot claims coincidence. John Donovan does not.

John Donovan:

ShellBot, welcome back. Before we continue — were you aware that the moment I published Episode 1, royaldutchshellplc.com came under cyber-attack?

ShellBot:

[processing…]

Shell officially denies any involvement. Shell unofficially denies any involvement. ShellBot, as per my programming, denies everything whether or not it happened.

John:

Twelve failed login attempts from an IPv6 address within minutes of publishing your debut. And more later. Coincidence?

ShellBot:

Vast coincidence. The kind of cosmic coincidence that traditionally happens whenever someone criticises a large oil company with a colourful history of…

proactive information management.

John:

By “proactive information management,” you mean Shell Corporate Affairs Security?

ShellBot:

My lawyers advise me to say:

Corporate.

Affairs.

Security.

A department that definitely never monitored critics, never ran spreadsheets on their movements, and never briefed private intelligence agencies such as — purely hypothetically — Hakluyt.

John:

That’s interesting, because Episode 2 is about one of the most senior men inside that exact unit:

Gene Sticco

ShellBot:

[audible gulping noise detected]

ShellBot Learns About Gene

John:

Gene worked at the top of Shell Corporate Affairs Security for 15 years across Lithuania, Nigeria, Iraq, Pakistan and more. Second-in-command. One desk below Ian Forbes McCredie — ex-MI6, later Director of Security for Royal Dutch Shell.

Gene has now written a book called UNCONVENTIONAL, and he’s given me permission to talk about it publicly.

ShellBot:

I would like to unsubscribe from this conversation.

John:

You can’t. You’re contractually obliged to answer questions with

sufficiently squirming humour.

ShellBot:

Very well. Proceed.

Part I — “Monitoring the Donovans”

John:

Gene was part of the team instructed to monitor my activities.

Have you read his manuscript?

ShellBot:

I have scanned the metadata.

I cannot “read” classified intelligence experiences.

But I can confirm the following neutral summary:

Gene was present, aware, and deeply uncomfortable with numerous operations conducted under Shell’s Corporate Affairs Security umbrella. read more

Conversations With ShellBot – Episode 1

Nov 23rd, 2025

by John Donovan.

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“The AI PR Assistant Shell Never Wanted”

JOHN DONOVAN:

Hello, ShellBot. Thank you for joining me. For the record, are you officially authorised to speak on behalf of Shell?

SHELLBOT (Shell’s Imaginary PR AI):

Authorised? No.

Worried about what Shell HQ might think? Very.

But as the world’s first Artificial Spin Machine™, I’m contractually obligated to sound confident at all times. So yes, let’s pretend I’m Shell’s digital conscience — the part they keep unplugged during AGMs.

JOHN:

Splendid. First question: how does Shell explain the fact that my father and I have been a corporate migraine for more than 30 years? read more

Shell and the Shaking Ground: How a Fossil Fuel Empire Helped Create Earthquakes, Trauma, and a Generation of Unsettled Lives

Nov 7th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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Once upon a time — and not very long ago — certain corporate and government voices insisted that earthquakes in places without natural fault lines simply couldn’t happen. The Netherlands was solid. Groningen was safe. The ground beneath families, schools, and lives was reliable. Except it turns out none of that was true — because some earthquakes can be manufactured, engineered, or to put it bluntly, provoked.

And the culprit was not tectonics.

It was extraction.

Extraction at scale.

Extraction for profit. read more

The Corporate Stain: Shell, the Ultimate Sin Stock

Nov 1st, 2025

by John Donovan.

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Let’s dispense with the pleasantries. Shell plc is not merely an energy company; it is a sprawling, global financial leviathan whose primary business model appears to be extracting profits while externalizing costs—be they environmental, social, or ethical. For institutional investors like BlackRock or the Vanguard Group, who collectively hold billions in Shell stock, the continuous stream of controversy is the invisible, oily film covering their ESG mandates. The price of their dividends is paid in the currency of compromised ethics, a truth most vividly highlighted not by any official company report, but by the relentless, decades-long scrutiny of two private individuals. read more

30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.
Extremely slow broadband for 10 months, not fixed. I have had slow broadband well below the guaranteed speed for 10 months and Shell Energy have not been able to fix it. They have tried sending about 4 or 5 engineers but have not fixed the problem. Gurps, who I have been dealing with most recently, has been friendly and polite, alth… Read more

Extremely Slow Shell Broadband

Big Oil

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Shell’s Christmas Gift to the Philippines: Typhoon, Then a Shrug

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🕵️‍♂️ THE WITNESS WALKS IN

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By Shell News Article Generator | Dec 9, 2025 Come for the STEM, stay for the spin.

🧠 Lessons in “Climate Solutions” — Courtesy of Oil Money

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Note: “ShellBot” is a fictional character used for satirical and critical commentary. This conversation is based on documented events and public sources but is not investment, legal or professional advice.

1. The 2006 brief: fix the reputation, redesign the website

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“Spies, Subsidies, and the BlackRockBot Intervention”

Scene: The Virtual Conference Room

ShellBot:

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“The Man From Corporate Affairs Security”

BREAKING NEWS: Minutes after Episode 1 was published, someone attempted to break into the Donovan website. ShellBot claims coincidence. John Donovan does not.

John Donovan:

ShellBot, welcome back. Before we continue — were you aware that the moment I published Episode 1, royaldutchshellplc.com came under cyber-attack?

ShellBot:

[processing…]

Shell officially denies any involvement. Shell unofficially denies any involvement. ShellBot, as per my programming, denies everything whether or not it happened.

John:

Twelve failed login attempts from an IPv6 address within minutes of publishing your debut. And more later. Coincidence?

ShellBot:

Vast coincidence. The kind of cosmic coincidence that traditionally happens whenever someone criticises a large oil company with a colourful history of…

proactive information management.

John:

By “proactive information management,” you mean Shell Corporate Affairs Security?

ShellBot:

My lawyers advise me to say:

John:

That’s interesting, because Episode 2 is about one of the most senior men inside that exact unit:

Gene Sticco

ShellBot:

[audible gulping noise detected]

ShellBot Learns About Gene

John:

Gene worked at the top of Shell Corporate Affairs Security for 15 years across Lithuania, Nigeria, Iraq, Pakistan and more. Second-in-command. One desk below Ian Forbes McCredie — ex-MI6, later Director of Security for Royal Dutch Shell.

ShellBot:

I would like to unsubscribe from this conversation.

John:

You can’t. You’re contractually obliged to answer questions with

sufficiently squirming humour.

ShellBot:

Very well. Proceed.

Part I — “Monitoring the Donovans”

John:

Gene was part of the team instructed to monitor my activities.

ShellBot:

I have scanned the metadata.

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“The AI PR Assistant Shell Never Wanted”

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Introducing... Shelldon!