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Shell CEO Bravely Warns That Doing More Deals Might Distract From Already Destroying the Planet Efficiently

Mar 26th, 2025

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Ah yes, Shell, the beloved oil-soaked darling of Vanguard and BlackRock, has once again graced us with its unshakable moral compass—pointing steadily toward short-term shareholder returns and long-term planetary combustion.

This week, Shell CEO Wael Sawan, live from the hallowed halls of the New York Stock Exchange (because nothing screams “saving the Earth” like ringing the bell on Wall Street), solemnly declared that while Shell is always hunting for acquisitions like a fossil-fueled velociraptor, going for a big one—say, cough, BP—might be a “distraction.” read more

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Greedy Oil Giant Shell Settles Greenpeace Lawsuit

Dec 10th, 2024

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Posted by John Donovan: 10 Dec 2024

Oh, Shell. The darling of sin stocks, the poster child for ruthless profiteering, environmental destruction, and apparently, public intimidation. In a move that screams look at us pretending to care, Shell has settled its $2.1 million lawsuit against Greenpeace. The crime? Greenpeace activists dared to peacefully board one of Shell’s oil rigs last year to protest its relentless climate destruction.

For all its legal muscle, Shell walked away with no damages. Not a dime. Instead, Greenpeace agreed to donate £300,000 to the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI)—a charity that actually saves lives, unlike Shell, which is busy plundering and destroying the planet. read more

WTF, Shell? From Saving the Planet to Saving Their Wallets

Dec 6th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 6 Dec 2024

In the latest episode of Corporate Malfeasance: Climate Edition, Shell—everyone’s favorite destroyer of worlds—is backing away from offshore wind investments because, well, it’s just not profitable enough for their bottomless greed. CEO Wael Sawan, apparently inspired by Scrooge McDuck, has decided that low-carbon energy isn’t where the money is. Oil, gas, and biofuels? Jackpot! Saving the planet? Meh, let someone else take the loss.

Splitting Shell Energy: Two Units, Zero Morals read more

Shell Announces Dividend Payments, Because Apparently the Planet Can’t Be the Only One Getting Burned

Sep 9th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 9 Sept 2024

In yet another sparkling example of Shell’s legendary generosity, the oil giant (a proud sin stock in its own right) has announced its second quarter 2024 dividend payments, converting your destruction of the planet into some cold, hard cash. So, if you’ve been stockpiling shares while Shell stockpiles carbon emissions, congratulations—you’re getting a nice chunk of change!

Announced on August 1, 2024, Shell’s board is thrilled to let shareholders know they’ll be receiving $0.344 per ordinary share. That’s right, whether you’re holding your shares in US dollars, euros, or pounds sterling, you’ll still be laughing all the way to the bank while the rest of the world gasps for air. Specifically, Shell’s kindly offering €0.3102 or 26.15p per share for those electing to take their profits in euros or pounds. Because what’s the point of environmental devastation if you can’t spread the wealth globally? read more

Shell’s Sin Stock Shenanigans

by John Donovan.

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How BlackRock and Vanguard Gave a Big Middle Finger to Climate Action While Backing the Oil Giant’s Eco-Villainy

In the latest episode of “Let’s Pretend We Care About the Planet,” the world’s two largest money managers have decided that climate change just isn’t that big of a deal—at least not “financially material.” That’s right, folks. These titans of finance, sitting on a mountain of $10 trillion and $9 trillion respectively, have basically told the world to shove it when it comes to supporting climate resolutions.

BlackRock, that beacon of corporate responsibility, supported a whopping 20 out of 493 climate proposals this year. For those keeping score, that’s less than 4%—a steep drop from the days when they could at least pretend to care, like in 2021 when they backed nearly half of all climate resolutions. But hey, why bother saving the planet when you can continue raking in cash from sin stocks like Shell? And Vanguard? Oh, they took it up a notch by supporting exactly zero, zilch, nada, out of over 400 environmental and social proposals. Guess the idea of saving the world isn’t “financially material” enough for them either. read more

Shell’s Greenwashing Extravaganza: the Pinnacle of Misleading Eco-porn Progress to the Apocalypse

Aug 14th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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So, here’s to Shell, the oil giant that thinks slapping wind turbines and a few EV chargers on their ad will somehow distract from their epic-scale climate sins. Shell, you’re not just powering progress; you’re powering a fantastic delusion.

Posted by John Donovan: 14 Aug 2024

Hold onto your eco-friendly hats, folks, because Shell, the epitome of oil-soaked hypocrisy, has rolled out an ad so dripping with greenwashing that it could have its own soap opera. Yes, the UK’s Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) is now diligently investigating whether Shell’s latest commercial is the pinnacle of misleading eco-porn or just another flashy piece of fossil-fuel propaganda.

In a plot twist worthy of a prime-time drama, Shell’s ad features a woman in engineer garb (because, of course, nothing screams “green future” like a woman who might have a vague idea about energy) proclaiming Shell’s grandiose plans to install thousands of EV chargers by 2035. The ad also boasts that Shell is “investing in people and communities,” as if bribing a few townsfolk could erase decades of environmental devastation. To top it off, they even toss in some wind turbines for good measure—because nothing says clean energy like a good ol’ fashioned visual misdirection. read more

Shell’s Bold New Plan: Running Away to the Land of Fossil Fuel Fanatics

Jun 20th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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No shit, Sherlock. Moving your headquarters across the Atlantic isn’t exactly like booking a vacation.

Posted by John Donovan: 20 June 2024

In the latest episode of “What the Actual F**k?”, Shell, that lovable giant known for its charming pollution and undying greed, is considering jumping ship to the good ol’ U.S. of A. Yes, you heard it right! Rigzone conducted some riveting interviews with analysts to get the scoop on this potential exodus. Spoiler alert: it’s all about money and less about saving the planet.

According to Patrick Rutty, the Director of Global Intelligence at Enverus, “It is a widely shared perception these days that there’s no better place to be a listed oil and gas company than America, owing largely to its relatively fossil fuel-friendly investors.” Well, duh. If you’re a company that thrives on drilling holes in the earth and spewing carbon, the U.S. is practically Disney World.

Rutty also spilt the beans that back in 2021, Royal Dutch Shell “shucked its first and middle names” and moved its tax residence from the Netherlands to the UK after a Dutch court called their carbon emissions plans lame. Apparently, London is now a “problematic” home too because of Brexit. Who would’ve guessed? read more

Shell Revels in Petro Profits as World Pleads for Climate Mercy

Nov 2nd, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 2 November 2023

In a spectacle of corporate jubilation, Shell has flaunted a $6.2 billion profit bonanza, much to the horror of environmentalists and the delight of shareholders rubbing their hands in glee. As if mother nature hadn’t suffered enough, Shell has profited handsomely from the oil price bounce, a merry-go-round fueled by Opec+’s crafty production cuts and the sad ongoing soap opera of global conflicts.

This show of profits, a slight dip from last year’s staggering $9.4 billion—when oil prices soared amidst the heart-wrenching drama of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine—still paints a rosy picture for Shell’s ledger. It seems the oil barons have found their silver lining in the dark clouds of geopolitical turmoil, with the World Bank casting a doomsday prophecy of oil prices potentially skyrocketing to an eye-watering $150 a barrel. read more

Shell’s CEO Crowns Himself King of the Buyback Bonanza, Sidesteps the Acquisition Arms Race

Nov 2nd, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 2 November 2023

As the world gasps in the shadow of climate calamity, Shell CEO, Wael Sawan, has emerged from the shadows, not with a plan to save the planet, but with a scheme to shower shareholders with more silver. In a dazzling display of financial acrobatics, Shell is turning its back on the charm of ‘mega acquisitions’ to play a solo game of Monopoly with its windfall profits.

Sawan, with the finesse of a Vegas high-roller, has bet big on a ‘buyback bonanza’ to keep the cash registers ringing for those with stakes in the game, prioritizing a hefty $3.5 billion repurchase raffle ticket for the next quarter. read more

Shell’s CEO Attempts a Heart-to-Heart, but Is Anyone Buying It?

Oct 5th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan 5 October 2023

In an astonishing move to show he’s “in touch” with the times, Shell Plc’s Chief Emotional Officer, Wael Sawan, plans a virtual pow-wow to soothe the jittery nerves of his eco-anxious troops. You know, those rightfully concerned about the planet’s future and all.

Remember when Sawan became the darling of environmentalists everywhere by – wait for it – prioritizing shareholder returns and reigniting Shell’s love affair with oil and gas? No? Oh, right, because that didn’t happen. What he did instead was ruffle the feathers of a number of employees, particularly the free thinkers over in the Renewables and Energy Solutions division.

Our dear CEO has kindly invited the Shell family to a little digital tea party titled “A Conversation With Wael” this October 17. The purpose? To “deepen our conversation on the opportunities and dilemmas we face as we position Shell to win in the energy transition,” an invitation bragged. The translation: “Let’s chat about why we’re clinging to our old ways, even though the house is literally on fire.”

Ahead of this riveting rendezvous, employees took to an internal forum. One heroic individual shared their struggle, stating the company’s customer-led approach makes bedtime stories with the kids a tad challenging: “It’s difficult for me to justify to my kids,” they said. Another keen observer noted that recent asset sales had Shell looking less “futuristic” and more “back in my day.” read more

Shell’s Astonishing Strategy: Super-Sizing Profits and Middle Fingers to the Planet

Jun 14th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan 14 June 2023

In a stunning display of corporate arrogance, Shell has decided to throw caution to the wind and abandon any pretense of caring about the environment. The oil giant’s latest move? Scrap their plan to reduce oil production, a feeble attempt to appear eco-friendly, and instead maintain their current levels of pollution until the end of the decade. How generous of them.

Shell CEO, Wael Sawan, must be thrilled with himself as he disregards the urgent need to combat climate change. While other oil companies are at least paying lip service to environmental responsibility, Shell boldly proclaims that they have already met their reduction targets through clever asset sales. Who needs real action when you can just shuffle numbers around?

But don’t worry, folks, Shell still wants you to believe they care about the planet. They plan to invest a measly $10-15 billion in low-carbon energy solutions like biofuels and hydrogen. It’s a classic case of greenwashing, as they quietly retreat from wind and solar projects that could make a real difference. read more

OIL MAFIA SAGA: HOLLAND AND UNCLE SAM SHOULD KICKSTART THE “WHODUNNIT” DRAMA ON ENI AND SHELL’S OPL245 GAME IN NIGERIA

May 22nd, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 22 May 2023

OIL MAFIA SAGA: HOLLAND AND UNCLE SAM SHOULD KICKSTART THE “WHODUNNIT” DRAMA ON ENI AND SHELL’S OPL245 GAME IN NIGERIA

Transparency International and its chapters in the Netherlands and the US are pleading with authorities in the two countries to revive the great soap opera involving Eni and Shell, the alleged Godfathers of bribery in Nigeria.

Our darling oil titans are accused of generously gifting over a cool US$1 billion in bribes to the chums of then-president Goodluck Jonathan. All for a trivial piece of paper – rights to the OPL245 offshore oilfield. This is recognized as an absolute party for the people of Nigeria. Because, of course, nothing says prosperity like environmental devastation and corruption. Obviously, the US and the Netherlands launched investigations but had to slam the brakes due to some Italian courtroom drama. read more

Shell’s ‘tense’ AGM where profits clash with the pesky climate

May 18th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan 18 MAY 2023

Shell’s ‘tense’ AGM where obscene profits clash with the pesky climate

Prepare for the showdown of the century! Shell, the notorious oil giant known for its greed and pollution, is about to face a shareholder meeting that promises to be nothing short of acrimonious. It seems that Shell is struggling to strike a delicate balance between making obscene profits from oil and gas and dealing with a pesky minority who believe they should actually do something about climate change. How dare they? read more

Shell’s board of directors sued for ‘failing to properly prepare’ for the energy transition

Mar 16th, 2022

by John Donovan.

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CNBC

Shell’s board of directors sued for ‘failing to properly prepare’ for the energy transition

PUBLISHED TUE, MAR 15 202210:14 AM EDT

Sam Meredith @SMEREDITH19 KEY POINTS

Environmental law firm ClientEarth, a Shell shareholder, said Tuesday that it had notified Shell of its claim against the company’s 13 executive and non-executive directors.
It argues the board’s failure to implement a climate strategy that truly aligns with the landmark Paris Agreement is a breach of their duties under English law.
In response to the legal action, Shell told CNBC via email that it was delivering on its global strategy that supported the Paris accord.

Shell’s board is being sued for failing to prepare the multinational oil and gas company for the transition away from fossil fuels.

Environmental law firm ClientEarth, a Shell shareholder, said Tuesday that it had notified Shell of its claim against the company’s 13 executive and non-executive directors. It argues the board’s failure to implement a climate strategy that truly aligns with the landmark Paris Agreement is a breach of their duties under English law. read more

30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.
Extremely slow broadband for 10 months, not fixed. I have had slow broadband well below the guaranteed speed for 10 months and Shell Energy have not been able to fix it. They have tried sending about 4 or 5 engineers but have not fixed the problem. Gurps, who I have been dealing with most recently, has been friendly and polite, alth… Read more

Extremely Slow Shell Broadband

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How BlackRock and Vanguard Gave a Big Middle Finger to Climate Action While Backing the Oil Giant’s Eco-Villainy

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So, here’s to Shell, the oil giant that thinks slapping wind turbines and a few EV chargers on their ad will somehow distract from their epic-scale climate sins. Shell, you’re not just powering progress; you’re powering a fantastic delusion.

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No shit, Sherlock. Moving your headquarters across the Atlantic isn’t exactly like booking a vacation.

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Posted by John Donovan 5 October 2023

In an astonishing move to show he’s “in touch” with the times, Shell Plc’s Chief Emotional Officer, Wael Sawan, plans a virtual pow-wow to soothe the jittery nerves of his eco-anxious troops. You know, those rightfully concerned about the planet’s future and all.

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