Posted by John Donovan: 12 Aug 2024
Ah, Shell—the quintessential poster child for the “Sin Stocks Hall of Fame” and the company that never misses an opportunity to remind us why it’s the reigning champion of environmental malpractice. Shell’s Latest Masterstroke: Closing 1,000 Gas Stations to “Embrace the Future”—Aka, Screw the Planet and Pocket the Cash
In their latest act of cosmic irony, Shell has decided to close 1,000 gas stations. Yes, that’s right, the same company that’s been unapologetically fuelling climate change and decimating our planet’s future will now close a thousand of its pit stops in an effort to “reallocate resources” and “embrace” the electric vehicle (EV) era. Because, apparently, the best way to show you’re serious about EVs is to make sure drivers have a few fewer places to refuel their gas-guzzling monsters before they transition.
According to Shell’s 2024 Energy Transition Strategy report—an Orwellian masterpiece of corporate doublespeak—the company claims these closures are in response to customer needs. Specifically, the need for less fuel and more “charging points” to cater to a growing fleet of electric vehicles. Shell predicts that “growth in oil demand is set to slow in the second half of this decade and could start falling in the 2030s” thanks to increased vehicle efficiency and a surge in electric cars. How very noble of them.
Shell also points out that “Today there are around 40 million such vehicles (BEVs and PHEVs) on the roads, with up to 275 million expected by 2030.” Well, that’s impressive, but one has to wonder if this is less about environmental responsibility and more about them playing a clever game of “Let’s get out while the getting’s good.”
With over 12,000 gas stations in the U.S., it’s almost touching to see Shell taking a stand for the future by shuttering a fraction of its fossil-fueled empires. And while we’re left waiting to see which locations will be sacrificed at the altar of “progress,” we can rest easy knowing that Shell’s grand gesture is really just a way to focus their attention on greener pastures—literally and figuratively.
So, hats off to Shell for their “bold” move! Here’s to hoping they continue to find inventive ways to pretend they’re saving the planet while making sure their bottom line remains as robust as ever.
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