Shell Shocked: The Prelude to Utter Corporate Indifference and Offshore Worker Abuse

Prelude FLNG: A Masterclass in Corporate Hubris

Prelude, Shell’s floating liquefied natural gas platform, was touted as a technological marvel—a 3.6-million-tonnes-per-annum cash cow set to redefine the energy sector. Instead, it has become a floating cautionary tale, plagued by mechanical failures, safety violations, and enough worker dissatisfaction to make any HR department spontaneously combust. Since shipping its first cargo in June 2019, this engineering “wonder” has spent more time offline than a dial-up modem in the ‘90s.

Now, the logistics workers from Qube Offshore, who keep this floating disaster operational, have had enough. They’ve voted for protected industrial action, citing the same negligence that Shell so lovingly slathers across all its projects. Who could blame them? Shell’s track record with offshore worker safety is so abysmal that even the term “safety” starts feeling like satire.

Unseaworthy Lifeboats: The Plot Thickens

Let’s not forget Shell’s North Sea platform scandal, where unseaworthy lifeboats—yes, lifeboats, the literal bare minimum of survival equipment—were discovered. Shell’s management philosophy of Touch Fuck All when it comes to worker safety has made it clear: profits first, humanity dead last. It’s almost as if the company’s mission statement reads, “Drown if you must, but don’t slow the gas flow.”

Investor-Enablers: Greed Meets Greed

And who bankrolls this circus of apathy? Look no further than BlackRock, the investment behemoth that claims to care about sustainability while throwing cash at Shell’s sin stocks. Sure, Larry Fink pens eloquent letters about ESG (environmental, social, and governance) values, but let’s be real—Shell’s environmental impact is an oil-slicked middle finger to those very ideals. Investors like BlackRock aren’t just complicit—they’re the puppeteers, pulling the strings to ensure that Shell’s greenwashing machine keeps spewing nonsense as reliably as its platforms spew pollutants.

Workers’ Last Stand

As Shell’s workers on Prelude FLNG gear up for industrial action, the message couldn’t be clearer: Shell can’t run its empire without them. And yet, Shell’s leadership, led by CEO Wael Sawan, remains laser-focused on delivering value—for shareholders, that is. Meanwhile, the workers who risk their lives to keep Shell’s dodgy platforms afloat are treated as disposable.

Shell’s Prelude to Collapse?

Shell’s audacity knows no bounds. From climate court cases to dodging accountability for worker safety, this oil titan’s corporate playbook is a study in evasion and exploitation. Will worker strikes or mounting legal pressure ever force Shell to change its ways? Probably not. But one can hope that the relentless backlash chips away at its profits, if only to remind its executives that human lives and the planet matter more than dividends.

So, here’s a suggestion for Shell’s next campaign slogan: “We don’t just burn oil. We burn bridges, safety protocols, and our workers’ patience. Shell: fueling the future, one disaster at a time.”