Shell Dumps $2.4 Billion Nigerian Assets, Doubles Down on Deepwater Destruction

Posted by John Donovan: 19 Dec 2024

Well, isn’t this just rich. Shell Plc, the oily overlord of environmental devastation, has finally managed to offload $2.4 billion worth of Nigerian assets to Renaissance Group, after being given the go-ahead by Nigeria’s oil minister. You know, the same oil minister who, just two months ago, hit the brakes on Shell’s attempt to bail on its onshore and shallow-water operations in the Niger Delta. But apparently, a couple of months—and maybe a few “persuasive” conversations—were all it took for Shell to get the approval it needed.

For the record, these “assets” (read: environmental ticking time bombs) include an eye-watering 6.73 billion barrels of oil and condensate and a casual 56.27 trillion cubic feet of gas. That’s enough to keep the world hurtling toward climate catastrophe for decades, but hey, Shell’s done their part—now it’s someone else’s turn to deal with the fallout.

But don’t you dare think Shell’s letting go of Nigeria completely. Oh no. In the same breath as shedding those dirty onshore liabilities, they’re plunging headfirst into the deepwater oil game with the Bonga North project, because, obviously, the world needs more fossil fuels extracted at depths where only submarines and hubris dare to go.

Shell’s Two-Faced Strategy: Sell Onshore, Double Down Offshore

Bonga North, for those keeping score, is a $10 billion monstrosity that will tap into over 300 million barrels of oil equivalent. It’s expected to pump out 110,000 barrels per day once it gets going—because nothing screams “climate action” like ramping up oil production in a country already reeling from Shell’s decades of spills, gas flaring, and corruption.

But don’t worry, Shell’s not doing this alone! They’ve got their usual suspects on board:

•ExxonMobil’s Esso Exploration (20%)—because nothing says “sustainability” like Big Oil teaming up with Big Oil.

•TotalEnergies (12.5%)—because one greenwashing campaign isn’t enough to distract from that oil-soaked reality.

•Nigerian Agip Exploration (12.5%)—because what’s a fossil fuel party without Agip, right?

And let’s not forget Shell’s 55% stake in the whole operation. After all, why stop at merely profiting when you can be the ringleader of yet another environmental disaster waiting to happen?

Investors Laugh All the Way to the Bank

If this sounds like an unending horror show, that’s because it is. But rest assured, Shell’s biggest investors, like BlackRock and Vanguard, are clinking champagne glasses over this. Why? Because nothing boosts those quarterly earnings reports like doubling down on fossil fuels in a region where regulatory oversight is a joke and environmental consequences are someone else’s problem.

Shell’s Legacy: Theft, Spills, and Sell-Offs

It’s almost poetic: Shell is desperately trying to wash its hands of the Niger Delta—a region ravaged by their negligence, riddled with oil spills, and plagued by theft—only to announce, in the same breath, an ambitious plan to keep drilling offshore until the last drop of profit is squeezed out. How thoughtful of them.

And just in case anyone forgot what Shell’s really about, let’s revisit their crowning achievements:

•Chronic oil spills that have poisoned Nigerian land and water for decades.

•Gas flaring so rampant it’s visible from space.

•A reputation for tax avoidance and bribery that makes mobsters look like amateurs.

But hey, at least they’re “transitioning to clean energy,” right? Oh wait, that’s just the greenwashing ads they run during prime time. Shell’s real “transition” involves selling off liabilities to the highest bidder while pouring billions into projects like Bonga North to keep the fossil fuel fire burning.

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