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John Donovan

Shell Shocked! Ex-Employees Steal Millions in Gas Oil, Open Barber Shop and Sushi Joint

Jul 2nd, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan 2 July 2024

In the latest saga of “How Shell Continues to Outdo Itself,” two former employees decided to play pirate and made off with millions in gas oil from Shell’s Pulau Bukom facility. Yes, you heard that right – these two masterminds, Muzaffar Ali Khan Muhamad Akram, 42, and Koh Choon Wei, 40, swindled Shell out of enough fuel to make Captain Jack Sparrow jealous.

Muzaffar, who managed to siphon off gas oil worth nearly $120 million, pocketed a cool $1.3 million. His partner-in-crime, Koh, snagged over $101 million worth of oil and walked away with at least $1 million. And what did they do with their ill-gotten gains? Opened a halal Japanese restaurant, invested in property, bought a Volkswagen, and even started a barbershop. Who knew crime could lead to such diverse business ventures? read more

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Shell to the Rescue! Pauses Biofuel Plant, Continues Saving the World One Oil Spill at a Time

Jul 2nd, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan 2 July 2024

In a move that surprised absolutely no one, Shell has decided to slam the brakes on the construction of one of Europe’s largest biofuel plants. This groundbreaking facility in Rotterdam was supposed to churn out 820,000 tonnes of biofuels a year, half of which would be sustainable aviation fuel (SAF) made from delightful waste cooking oil and animal fat. You know, the stuff that makes your fries taste great.

Airlines, who were giddy at the thought of selling “low-carbon” flights, are now left scratching their heads. But don’t worry, Shell assures us this is just a “temporary pause.” According to Huibert Vigeveno, Shell’s downstream, renewables, and energy solutions director, “Temporarily pausing on-site construction now will allow us to assess the most commercial way forward for the project.” Translation: “We’re figuring out how to make more money off this before pretending to care about the planet again.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Shocked! Big Money Dumps Oil Stocks

Jul 1st, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 01 July 2024

In a move that’s more shocking than discovering water is wet, a growing horde of European institutional investors are ditching oil and gas stocks like they’re yesterday’s trash. The latest to jump on this bandwagon of eco-consciousness is Denmark’s largest commercial pension fund, PFA, which manages a whopping $110 billion. They’ve decided to offload their $170 million stake in Shell, citing the company’s pathetic attempt at renewable energy investment. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s New Hell Factory in Pennsylvania: Residents Basking in the Glow of Deadly Carcinogens

Jun 28th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 28 June 2024

Welcome to Beaver County, Pennsylvania, where Shell’s ethane cracker plant has turned the community into a living nightmare. Residents are now basking in the glow of carcinogens and other delightful chemicals that can cause blood disorders, convulsions, and breathing problems. Some folks have even fled the area.

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Shell, the beloved corporate villain, has once again proven that it’s never too late to outdo itself in the race to the bottom. Welcome to Beaver County, Pennsylvania, where Shell’s ethane cracker plant has turned the community into a living nightmare. Who could’ve guessed? Oh, wait – everyone.

What’s Happening?

In a dazzling display of corporate gaslighting, Shell promised Beaver County that its ethane cracker plant would be a magical land of employment, tax revenue, and economic bliss. So, Pennsylvania, in its infinite wisdom, handed Shell a cool $1.65 billion to set up shop. Fast forward two years, and surprise! The plant has racked up 23 violations of air quality and clean water standards, like a delinquent teenager collecting detention slips. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s New “Eco-Friendly” Stunt: Two Carbon Capture Projects in Alberta

Jun 28th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 28 June 2024

Shell Gives the Green Light to Carbon Capture Shenanigans in Alberta – Whoop-de-doo!

So, the bigwigs at Shell have decided to throw us another bone and announced not one, but two shiny new carbon capture projects in Alberta. Because, apparently, the oil giant known for its greed and pollution suddenly wants to save the planet. Cue the applause.

The company proudly declared the launch of the Polaris carbon capture project at its Scotford refinery and chemicals complex near Fort Saskatchewan. And let’s not forget the Atlas Carbon Storage Hub, a grand partnership with Atco EnPower. The first phase will allegedly store the CO2 captured by the Polaris project. Because what’s better than an oil giant patting itself on the back for trying to clean up its own mess? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s New Carbon Capture Schemes: Greenwashing or Genuine Effort?

Jun 26th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 26 June 2024

Shell is at it again. This time, the oil behemoth has decided to bless Canada with not one, but two carbon capture and storage (CCS) projects. Bravo, Shell! Because nothing screams “environmental savior” like a company that has spent decades polluting the planet.

On June 26, Shell’s Canadian unit announced its grand plan to build these CCS projects in a valiant effort to reduce emissions from its own operations. The projects, named Polaris and Atlas Carbon Storage Hub, sound like something out of a superhero comic. Unfortunately, the reality is less heroic. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Sir Andrew Mackenzie and Shell’s Delusional Climate “Solutions”

Jun 24th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 24 June 2024

Ah, Sir Andrew Mackenzie, the knight in shining oil-stained armour, has graced us with his profound wisdom on tackling climate change. Who would have thought that solving one of the world’s biggest crises could be more challenging than running a mining company? Not Sir Andrew, apparently.

In a revelation that’s about as surprising as finding sand in the desert, Sir Andrew admits that handling climate change at Shell is “quite a lot harder than I expected.” You see, at BHP, he could comfortably discuss all sorts of theoretical climate solutions without actually having to implement them. Now, faced with the greasy reality at Shell, things aren’t so easy. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Emergency Drill at Cracker Plant: Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Jun 20th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan 20 June 2024

Pennsylvania Shell ethylene cracker plant

Today at the Shell cracker plant in Beaver County, it’s not business as usual. Shell, the lovable titan of pollution, is conducting an emergency response drill. Yep, you read that right. The same company that brings you environmental disasters is practising how to handle one. The irony is delicious.

A Shell spokesperson stated that this drill is a regulatory requirement that must be completed every three years. Of course, because if there’s one thing Shell loves, it’s jumping through hoops to meet the bare minimum legal requirements. During today’s festivities, alarms will be blaring, and an emergency response team will be parading along the Ohio River. If you’re in the area and hear sirens, don’t panic—this time, it’s just a drill. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Buys Pavilion Energy: Because Who Needs Clean Energy Anyway?

Jun 20th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 20 June 2024

In a move that’s sure to make environmentalists everywhere throw up in their mouths a little, Shell, the world’s top LNG trader and our favourite oil-stained villain is beefing up its fossil fuel empire by buying Pavilion Energy. Yes, you heard that right. Shell is doubling down on liquefied natural gas because apparently, climate change isn’t happening fast enough.

Shell announced on Tuesday that its subsidiary, Shell Eastern Trading Pte. Ltd., has inked a deal with Carne Investments Pte. Ltd., an indirect subsidiary of Temasek, to snatch up 100% of Pavilion Energy. What better way to celebrate summer than by acquiring yet another company to exploit natural resources? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Bold New Plan: Running Away to the Land of Fossil Fuel Fanatics

Jun 20th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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No shit, Sherlock. Moving your headquarters across the Atlantic isn’t exactly like booking a vacation.

Posted by John Donovan: 20 June 2024

In the latest episode of “What the Actual F**k?”, Shell, that lovable giant known for its charming pollution and undying greed, is considering jumping ship to the good ol’ U.S. of A. Yes, you heard it right! Rigzone conducted some riveting interviews with analysts to get the scoop on this potential exodus. Spoiler alert: it’s all about money and less about saving the planet.

According to Patrick Rutty, the Director of Global Intelligence at Enverus, “It is a widely shared perception these days that there’s no better place to be a listed oil and gas company than America, owing largely to its relatively fossil fuel-friendly investors.” Well, duh. If you’re a company that thrives on drilling holes in the earth and spewing carbon, the U.S. is practically Disney World.

Rutty also spilt the beans that back in 2021, Royal Dutch Shell “shucked its first and middle names” and moved its tax residence from the Netherlands to the UK after a Dutch court called their carbon emissions plans lame. Apparently, London is now a “problematic” home too because of Brexit. Who would’ve guessed? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Greenwashing Extravaganza: Charging Stations for a Better Future or Just a Smokescreen?

Jun 20th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 20 June 2024

In a move that screams “We’re trying to save the planet, we swear!”, Shell has launched a new rapid-charging station for electric vessels in Amsterdam. Yes, you heard that right—Shell, the oil behemoth known for its ruthless pollution and insatiable greed, now wants a slice of the green energy pie.

On Monday, with more self-congratulatory back-patting than you can shake a solar panel at, Shell Marine cut the ribbon on its latest “innovation” at the Energy Transition Campus Amsterdam (ETCA). This Megawatt Charging System, boasting three times the power of your average e-truck station and equipped with a “universal” connector, is here to save the day—or at least try to salvage Shell’s PR. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Shock! Canadian Workers to Vote on Strike as Oil Giant Plays Tug-of-War with Fair Wages

Jun 16th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 16 June 2024

In the latest episode of Shell’s ongoing drama series “How Low Can We Go?”, the oil titan’s workers at the Scotford facility in Canada are preparing to vote on a strike. Apparently, the greedy, ruthless, polluting giant thinks it’s acceptable to keep its workers’ compensation “well-below industry standards,” according to the Unifor union. 

Despite months of bargaining starting in January, Shell’s idea of a “mutually acceptable agreement” involves low-balling the very people who keep their bitumen upgrader, oil refinery, chemicals plant, and carbon capture and storage facility running smoothly. Let’s not forget, this upgrader has a capacity of 320,000 barrels of oil equivalent per day of diluted bitumen. That’s a lot of oil and a lot of profit, yet somehow fair wages are still out of reach.

A Shell spokesperson, with all the sincerity of a used car salesman, stated, “We will continue to work through the bargaining process to reach a mutually acceptable agreement for both parties.” Sure, because nothing says “mutual” like pushing for wages that don’t meet industry standards. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

20th Anniversary of one of Shell’s biggest scandals

Jun 12th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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2004: The oil giant was heavily fined for overstating its reserves in a securities fraud. Shell chairman Sir Philip Watts was forced to resign. He was escorted in disgrace from the Shell Centre by Security guards. He became a very rich vicar. 

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READABLE VERSION

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Corporate Accountability 1, Greedy Giants 0

Jun 12th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Shell got off scot-free despite strong evidence they were up to their necks in aiding the Nigerian military’s torture and killing spree against environmental protesters.

Posted by John Donovan: 12 June 2024

In a rare twist of fate where the universe temporarily operates on justice, Chiquita Brands was held accountable for its cosy relationship with murderous paramilitaries in Colombia. A Florida jury just slapped the fruit giant with a $38.3 million bill for the deaths of eight people, putting a price tag on human lives lost in Chiquita’s quest for banana empire dominance.

You see, back in the late 90s and early 2000s, Chiquita thought it was a brilliant idea to pay almost $2 million to the United Self-Defense Forces of Colombia (AUC), a right-wing death squad. In return, these thugs made sure the land was ripe for banana farming, even if it meant killing and displacing locals. The AUC, a group so charming they got themselves labeled a foreign terrorist organization by the U.S., happily did the dirty work while Chiquita reaped the benefits. Fast forward to 2024, and the families of eight victims have finally been granted a slice of justice. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Spills & Thrills: Nigerian Communities Take the Oil Giant to Court

Jun 10th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 10 June 2024

In the latest episode of “How Low Can Shell Go?”, the oil behemoth is gearing up to defend itself against claims from two Nigerian communities and over 13,000 individuals who are fed up with Shell’s toxic spills wrecking their lives.

Next up on the courtroom drama: a case management conference on June 11-12, 2024, at the High Court in London. This little get-together will set the stage for the 2025 trial where the levels of oil contamination in the Bille community and its horrific impacts will be laid bare.

Shell, ever the slippery operator, announced they’re ditching their onshore operations in Nigeria. But don’t be fooled—this isn’t them riding off into the sunset, it’s just complicating the mess they’ve left behind. The lawsuit, led by the tireless folks at law firm Leigh Day, will put Shell’s legal obligations under the Nigerian Constitution and the African Charter for Human and Peoples’ Rights under the microscope, focusing on the right to a clean environment. Who knew we had to drag an oil giant to court to enforce basic human rights? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Digs Deeper: The Quest for More Profits at the Expense of the South Africa Wild Coast

Jun 10th, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan: 10 June 2024

In a shocking display of corporate greed and utter disregard for the environment, Shell, the infamous oil giant known for its ruthless pollution tactics, is hell-bent on drilling for oil and gas off the South Africa Wild Coast in the Eastern Cape.

This week, the Supreme Court of Appeal (SCA) upheld a ruling by the high court in Makhanda, ordering Shell to pause its voracious plans until it has “sufficiently consulted” the communities that will be directly impacted. Because, you know, consulting the locals whose lives you’re about to wreck is apparently an afterthought for Shell.

“It is not in dispute that neither the public was given notice of the decisions or informed of the right to appeal. The failure to do so, which is unexplained on the papers, is subversive of the procedural entitlements of the appellants,” reads the SCA judgment. read more

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