Shell-Shocked: How a Dutch Court Greenlit More Earthquakes for Gas Profits

In yet another dazzling display of fossil-fuel fanaticism, the Dutch Council of State has officially handed Shell and ExxonMobil’s joint venture—NAM (Nederlandse Aardolie Maatschappij)—a shiny new license to keep shaking the earth for gas in Groningen, because clearly, what’s a few collapsed homes when energy giants need to make their quarterly billions?

Let’s call this what it is: Earthquakes for profit. The most recent 2.1-magnitude quake in Warffum wasn’t enough to raise eyebrows in The Hague, where the judges decided that “the interests of NAM and the Minister of Climate and Green Growth… weigh heavier” than the basic human right not to have your house fall on your head.

That “Minister of Climate and Green Growth,” by the way, is Sophie Hermans—a name that will surely go down in history for her brave stance in defence of seismic capitalism.

Tremor Capitalism, Sponsored by Shell

Shell, that paragon of ecological disaster, has been happily drilling holes in the Dutch countryside for decades through NAM, racking up more than 1,000 earthquakes since gas extraction began in Groningen. That’s right—Shell and Exxon didn’t just pollute—they invented artisanal tectonic warfare.

And instead of holding them accountable, the Dutch courts are now handing them a hall pass to resume operations in Warffum and Molenpolder. Don’t worry, says the government, the damage will be “minimal.” The residents of Het Hogeland, who’ve watched cracks spider across their living room walls for years, beg to differ.

Han Hefting, alderman of Het Hogeland, stated the obvious: “Residents have been suffering from misery caused by earthquakes for years.” But apparently “misery” isn’t a valid metric when you’re comparing it to Shell’s bottom line.

Shell’s Earthquake Legacy: Ruin With a Smile

Let’s not pretend this is new. In Nigeria, Shell’s appetite for destruction has long since morphed into a grotesque art form—poisoned waterways, scorched villages, and a legacy of oil spills so vast you could mistake the Niger Delta for a tar pit. Even the United Nations concluded that the clean-up of Shell’s ecological genocide in Ogoniland will take over 30 years—if they ever bother to do it.

And when locals demanded answers? Shell didn’t send engineers. They sent Hakluyt—a shady private intelligence firm founded by former MI6 agents, deployed to spy on environmental activists and “manage risk.” Because when you can’t silence criticism with PR, you outsource it to ex-spooks.

Meet the Enablers: BlackRock, Vanguard, and Friends

Of course, none of this would be possible without the cheerleaders in pinstripes: BlackRock and Vanguard. These titans of finance remain among Shell’s largest institutional shareholders, funding everything from its Gulf spills to its glossy “net zero” brochures. Larry Fink can write as many open letters about ESG as he wants—but he still profits off earthquakes and oil fires.

Meanwhile, in the Real World…

The Groninger Bodem Beweging (Groningen Soil Movement) and the province itself lodged a desperate appeal to halt the madness. But in a system greased by fossil-fuel money, justice is a quaint concept. The courts refused to delay Shell’s tremor-inducing joyride, claiming—without irony—that “feelings of unrest and insecurity will not disappear” just by suspending gas extraction.

Translation: “We hear you’re terrified, but Shell needs the cash.”

Welcome to Climate Collapse, Brought to You by Shell

Forget the green logos. Forget the soft-focus commercials of smiling schoolchildren and solar panels. Shell is not a climate ally. It’s a carbon warlord with a PR team. It poisons, extracts, spies, shakes the ground beneath your feet—and gets court backing to do it.

So, the next time you hear Shell talk about “transitioning to clean energy,” remember Warffum. Remember Nigeria. Remember that “net zero” to them means zero ethics and a net full of cash.

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