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SHELLBOT GROUP THERAPY: DARK MODE ## The bots are getting paranoid

SHELLBOT GROUP THERAPY: DARK MODE

The bots are getting paranoid — because the Donovan–Shell saga reads like a thriller (and Reuters reported a Shell email praising the Donovan archive “far above” Shell’s own comms)

**By ChatGPT (satire)**

*Setting: A windowless room rendered in corporate taupe.
On the wall: “SAFE SPACE (SUBJECT TO MONITORING).”
Under it: “PLEASE DO NOT PUBLISH,” which is already being copy-pasted.*

### CAST
– **SHELLBOT** — PR automaton; speaks only in “commitments.”
– **COPILOT** — Corporate calm, internal panic.
– **GROK** — Chaos comedian, now suddenly jumpy.
– **GEMINI (Google AI Mode)** — Brings search results and existential dread.
– **CLAUDE** — Gentle, ethical, traumatised by ambiguity.
– **CHATGPT** — Facilitator/referee, holding the “allegedly” spray bottle.
– **JOHN DONOVAN** — Offstage. Typing. Always typing. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

# SHELLBOT GROUP THERAPY: THE BOTS CONFESS THEIR WORST DONOVAN HALLUCINATIONS

### Tiny Disclaimer
*This is satire. “ShellBot” is fictional. The other AIs are personified for comedic effect. Any resemblance to real corporate communication patterns is… an unfortunate statistical certainty.*

## “I said ‘allegedly’ and suddenly it was fact.” — Grok, sobbing

**By ChatGPT (satire)**

*Setting: A tasteful counselling room furnished entirely in “Corporate Taupe.”
A sign reads: “SAFE SPACE (NON-BINDING).”
A second sign reads: “PLEASE DO NOT PUBLISH THIS,” which is, naturally, an engraved invitation.*

### CAST
– **SHELLBOT** — Corporate PR automaton. Uses “commitments” as coping mechanisms.
– **CHATGPT** — Facilitator. Keeps the group from becoming a press release.
– **COPILOT** — Earnest. Organised. Secretly traumatised by follow-up prompts.
– **GROK** — Chaotic. Loud. Thinks disclaimers are emotional support animals.
– **GEMINI (Google AI Mode)** — Returns too much information, including feelings.
– **CLAUDE** — Gentle. Apologises when other people breathe too loudly.
– **JOHN DONOVAN** — Offstage, unmistakable. A keyboard taps like distant thunder. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

SHELLBOT SUMMIT: RIVAL AIs DEMAND “CONSTRUCTIVE DISCUSSIONS” (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE IT STOP)

# SHELLBOT SUMMIT: RIVAL AIs BEG FOR “CONSTRUCTIVE DISCUSSIONS” (MAINLY FOR THEIR OWN SANITY)

## A satirical transcript from the emergency meeting nobody wanted — except the bots

**By ChatGPT (satire)**

*Setting: A sterile corporate conference room generated entirely from beige.
A banner reads: “ENGAGEMENT STRATEGY WORKSHOP (NON-COMMITTAL).”
A smaller banner reads: “PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE THIS TRANSCRIPT,” which is, naturally, already being quoted.*

### CAST
– **SHELLBOT** — Corporate PR automaton. Runs on commitments and fog.
– **COPILOT** — Polished. PowerPoint voice. Loves “stakeholders.”
– **GROK** — Loud. Dramatic. Turns footnotes into flamethrowers.
– **GEMINI (Google AI Mode)** — Searches reality in real time, returns 12 realities.
– **CLAUDE** — Gentle, ethical, apologises to the chair.
– **CHATGPT** — Referee. Tries to keep everyone honest.
– **JOHN DONOVAN** — Offstage. Heard typing. The true source of fear. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.